Do you want Kids? Why or Why Not?

[Lauri M]

I noticed on the discussion about kids' names there was a large number of you that did not want kids, even though you picked names you would give them if you did. I have always wanted kids, ever since I can remember and now have 2.

Although I respect anyone's decision not to procreate, I am curious as to your reasons. Don't get me wrong, if you don't want 'em, then DON'T have 'em.

So, why or why not, guys? Oh, and if you used to not want kids, but had one anyway how do you feel about that now?

[David]

Right now- I wouldn't want any kids, mainly because of financial reasons. I want to be able to support myself first before I have to support a wife and kids. Ya know get a good job, nice place to live, etc. Not to mention I'm kind of young- well maybe not too young but I mean I still want to be able to have fun and go out and do things I like to do before I get into that. :-) I've got a few friends who have kids, in fact one of my friends has a daughter on the way. They are always busy, which is understandable. I'm thinking in my 30s I'll have kids.

[Chip, A Former Ningmaster]

Definitely never ever want kids, because 1) I just do not want to deal with it. Seems like a whole lot of work for no reward and I have never EVER liked kids/babies/etc. Other people always go "aawwww" at babies but I'm just like "meh, get it away from me." And reason 2) Why do I feel that I'm special enough to bring another child into an already WAY overpopulated world when I could just as easily adopt?

[Lauri M]

Good response. You sound very sure of yourself. It's good when people know their limitations because there are too many parents who shouldn't be.
As for the adoption thing, good for you. I'm adopted myself. That is one reason I chose to have my own kids (wanted someone who was biologically related), but I will adopted if we decide to have a 3rd. Although, as a woman, I can say that being pregnant ROCKS! I loved it. I wish I could be 7 month pregnant forever. You are past the sick/tired phase, you are big enough that people know your pregnant, not just getting fat, and the clothes are so comfy. You can also feel the baby move a lot at this stage which is kick ass.

[Anna]

I definetly agree with you. I have never liked kids, and when I'm offered to babysit I usually turn it down because I don't want to deal with screaming kids. I also want to travel, and I don't see how you can do that when you have a kid. I agree with you on adopting as well. There are soo many orphaned children in our world who don't have homes.

[M.E. Barstow]

My mum and I went to Europe for a month when I was five, so travelling with a kid isn't impossible.

[Adam Lee]

I did the same thing as M.E. Barstow except for me it was bout' 5 months.
It is defintley not impossible.

[Ananka Fishbein]

You know, not all kids scream, only the annoying ones, and there's a good chance you wouldn't think that your own kid was annoying.
But I do agree with adopting. I went to Africa a couple of years ago and it's just desperate how many parentless children there are out there, even just out on the street. It's really sad, because every life is precious. That sounds uber corny, but whatever.

[Kate]

I want *a* kid. Singular. I mean, naturally, anyways. For a female, I think, being pregnant/giving birth is a huge part of the human experience. Not a necessary one, perhaps, but definitely a big one. It's one of the few things we get to do that men simply can't. That...and I just love kids. Always have, probably always will. I love how they make me remember the way the world looks when you're young.

[Lauri M]

See my response above. I know some women who hated everything about pregnancy and birth. I loved both. Yes, even birth. (I did get drugs about halfway through, though) If I could afford and handle a house full of kids I'd keep having them, but then I think of the whole social responsibility thing and I'm not sure. Basically I just decided to stop. My husband was snipped. So it's adoption for us if we change our minds.

[Sinnymun]

Heh, I kicked ass at the pregnancy/delivery thing. Zero complications either time, not even tearing or stitches. I'm thinking that I'll have one more, maybe. I'm already a single parent, so probably not in the foreseeable future though.

[Roxy]

Yes for kids! I have 3 and am a SAH mom. I chose to stay home because I decided if I'm going to have kids, I want to be the biggest influence in their lives. I got a BS in Physics before I got married, so I'll be ready to help them with their math when they need it.

Having kids felt like the right thing to do. I always wanted to have kids. The number has fluctuated through the years, and when to have them was a big decision, but I always knew I would have them. I guess my religion had an influence on that. I enjoyed being pregnant, especially after they started moving around. There is nothing like it. I even survived a completely pain-med free birth (hurray Bradley method!).

It IS hard. Some days I just want to ship them off somewhere else far, far away. BUT,it is the most rewarding thing in the world if you step back and look at the big picture. My kids have shaped and molded my life in ways that no one else could. Each came at the right time in my life for them. They were meant for me.

[Lauri M]

I feel the same.
I stayed at home until my kids were 1 and 3. I've been working only part-time since. It is a real relief to go to work sometimes. I'm very lucky because I have a close friend who watches them. No day care. That makes me too nervous.