Attention funny poem writers

[Bolton]

Hey everyone im making a short book like thing for school called: " Roses are red violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I : and other short silly poems " well the title pretty much explains it so if anyone would like to contribute a short sill poem it would be much appreciated
thanx :-)

[Chip, A Former Ningmaster]

Well, I don't know if anyone else thinks this is funny, but I do. :D


Every day, without fail, you increase my WorldSuck.
No matter how much I ask, beg, pray.
But of course, that’s just my luck.
You exist only to torture my life away.
That’s ok, that’s ok. I don’t mind.
Ok, I lied. I do mind. You’re a pain in the ass.
What did I do to deserve your hate? Was I unkind?
Did I hurt you somehow? Alas;
I must’ve hurt you, wronged you in some unforgiveable way.
It’s the only explanation for why you torture me every day.

What? You don’t know how your torture me?
Are you that blind?
No, I’m sure it just fills you with so much glee
To be so horribly unkind.
Ok, I’ll tell you.
I will reveal your truly baneful colors to the world
And then everyone will know about your coup.
Here it is: your evil plot unfurled.
You always spring off the other corner
While I’m fixing the former!

Yes, that is your evil way
To torture me night and day!
Every time I try to get you on the bed
You can’t help but mess with my head!
I hate you! It’s impossible to get you on the mattress!
Not to mention afterwards my room is a mess.
Ugh, every time, without fail, you, the damn sheet
Feel the need to fill me with an angry heat.
Worst of all though, once we’re through,
Is that there’s not one, but TWO of you!

An Ode to the Fitted Sheet
By Chip


I wrote it after wrestling with a fitted sheet for like a half hour >:( I hate those things!

[Julia Q]

That was unbelievably awesome. I wish I could just convert my anger into an incredible poem. And I totally agree-- fitted sheets totally increase WorldSuck. :]

[Emily]

Great Poem! - I just had to put my sheets on my bed last night . . .

[showersinger34]

ever try putting one on a top bunk bed at summer camp in a room full of 26 noisy, screaming, insane 13 year olds when there is stuff all over the floor? i dont recommend it.... xD

[showersinger34]

ummm.. in sixth grade we were learning about poems and my friend and i were POed at our class and i go "look at the bird, lookie lookie lookie... I'm gonna hit it with a sweedish creme cookie!!!" it was funny at the time, but now... not so much