Harry Potter is Terrible

And here's a short list of reasons why:

First, the cast:

Harry has never done anything of any real consequence. Every time he gets into trouble he escapes in one of three ways: Blind dumb luck. Hermione does everything for him. Because Dumbledore said so. He is the most unlikeable main character I have ever met.

Dumbledore meet Deus Ex Machina. Deus Ex Machina meet Dumbledore. Now stop staring at yourself in the mirror, god damnit. Seriously, this guy is like Deus Ex Homo Hominis. God from the person. He solves every problem that normal Deus Ex Machina blind luck and stupid chance can't solve. It's ridiculous and just lazy writing.

Ron is a massive dork. There's nothing to like about him. He's nervous, stupid, and cowardly. His brothers were cool. He missed out on all that.

Hermione is a living breathing stereotype. "LOOKIT ME! I'M SMART AND I STUDY ALL THE TIME AND I HAVE NO SENSE OF FUN AND I ACT BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE I'M OBVIOUSLY MORE MATURE!" Well, hello, Miss Cliche.

Draco is the most unsympathetic villain of all time. There's no reason for him to act the way he does. He just does. It makes him nothing but a pointless and unimportant irritant. The books would have been no worse without him.

Voldemort... well, I take it back, Voldemort is less sympathetic than Draco. At least you can feel SOMETHING about Draco, even if it's just annoyance or loathing. Voldemort only shows up a few times, and hardly says or does anything. He completely lacks character beyond 'rar rar rar I'm evil and want to live forever and kill people because I can, rar rar rar.' It's ridiculous and played out. He has no real motivation for acting the way he did.

I could go on a bit further here, but let's move on to... THE PLOT:

First, I have to mention this: "Harry, you're still alive because TRUE LOVE SAVED YOU!"

Really there's nothing more I can say about that. It pretty much sums up everything all by itself. The pure aching cliche, the deus ex machina, the mary sueness. All of it. It just kind of encompasses the whole story to that degree from beginning to end, and there's no other single sentence that better sums up all my problems with Rowling's story telling.

P.S. Fuck Horcruxes. Let's just rip off the lich's phylactery, split it into seven pieces, and give it a name from a Doctor Seuss novel. It's not a new idea. It's not a good idea. And it's a terrible name.

Tags: harry, potter

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jenn on June 3, 2008 at 11:11pm: HAHAA
Yes! Thank you for that Voldemort bit.

Although, I disagree when it comes to Draco. He is unsympathetic, yes. But he was raised to believe he was better than everyone else, so he was pissed all the time when someone else got more attention then him. Voldemort, on the other hand, had no real reason to think he was better than anyone else since he had no one telling him so.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by ryuk on August 30, 2008 at 9:41pm: i completely agree.go jenifer; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Tiffany on June 3, 2008 at 11:13pm: Run..hide..because dude I can already see the the arguments you started. Look out for torches and pitchforks.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cat on June 4, 2008 at 9:49pm: haha yes.

It is taking every fiber of my being to not lash out and pull out every bit of counter argument I have. I just keep thinking: They can think what they want.They can think what they want.They can think what they want.

I must leave now or I will explode.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sinnymun on June 4, 2008 at 9:53pm: I'm pretty sure it's okay to freak out on Decepticon. He might even like it...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Decepticon on June 4, 2008 at 10:00pm: So what you're really saying is that you wouldn't know a good plot or good characterization if it bit you in the ass?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Decepticon on June 8, 2008 at 3:05am: You know you love me, baby.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sinnymun on June 3, 2008 at 11:15pm: Augh!! I am so with you on the Dumbledore thing!! I was so mad at the last book, because Dumbledore was freaking DEAD, and it was finally Harry's chance to stand on his own feet and get shit done. But he still just blindly followed Dumbledore's plan... He was dead and still running the show!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jenn on June 3, 2008 at 11:26pm: Lol So true...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Chip, A Former Ningmaster on June 4, 2008 at 12:01am: *LE GASP!* That's it Decepticon, you've finally crossed the line. I could deal with everything else, but to HATE on HP?!

Except of course that most of the points you raised are completely legitimate.

Harry - completely true. He's 100% prat and most of the time just a pain.
Dumbledore - completely true, now that I don't like him as much. Before the 7th book I wouldn't defended Dumbly to the end, but now that he turns out he's just a manipulative bastard, I see the truth.
Ron - He's a likeable dork. He's funny, awkward, pathetic, relatable. All characters have to have flaws, or they become Twilight Edwards and those are just stupid.
Hermione - ...true, but I still like her. You don't often have the studious student stereotype portrayed in a positive light.
Draco - Push him off a cliff, he's the most useless character in the entire series. Nothing but a big pussy.
Voldemort - Finally something I disagree with. He does have character motivations. The reason he wanted to live forever was because his mother died giving birth and he couldn't stand the weakness that death represented, especially when he found out that it was his mother who has been a witch, not his father, which meant magic did not solve everything.
Plot - That didn't become the plot until OotP. Before that it was "Harry to the rescue!"

But the reason people love (and by people I mean me) Harry Potter is because of the new world it creates. While witches, wizards, and magic all existed before HP, JKR took the concepts and made something completely her own. I'm not saying they're the greatest fantasy literature ever written, she did nothing compared to JRR Tolkein who literally created his own universe, but she does an amazing job to create a world that could, conceiviably exist (I mean that as muggles wouldn't know of its existence becase of the measures taken by the magical world).

(BTW, do you have a real name, or will I forever have to think of you as 'Decepticon' or 'Nerd Secret's Mom'?); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Decepticon on June 4, 2008 at 9:44pm: I don't normally give out my real name on the interblogs, but you may call me Megatron.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Anne-Marie on June 14, 2008 at 5:44pm: "Ron - He's a likeable dork. He's funny, awkward, pathetic, relatable. All characters have to have flaws, or they become Twilight Edwards and those are just stupid."

I think I might be in love with you.; ▶ Reply to This