NFs on Sexuality

[Christian the Heretic]

...and more specifically, sexual orientation (but that's too long to put in the title, you see?).

So I've always been extremely interested in human sexuality, and for a long time considered being a sex therapist.
A song recently caused me to seriously rethink some things.
'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry has been controversial because apparently, she does not consider herself bisexual.
That led me to wonder what Nerdfighters think about a bunch of sexual orientation-related stuffs.

So, my questions for all of you are as follows:

1) Bisexuality: Another stop on the train to Gay Town?

2) Relating to the song, is it possible to feel a physical attraction to your own sex as well as the opposite, and not be considered bisexual?

3) What about the argument I've heard stating that once a person chooses their life partner, they are no longer bisexual? A girl who had just graduated was visiting my high school and told me, "I used to be bisexual before I got married."
Now, I eventually got her to see that she is, in fact, still bisexual (because she's still attracted to girls), but do you think it's possible to just let go of that attraction to one's own sex?

4) Do you think that bisexuality can be boiled down to bicuriousity? I've surveyed the students at my school, and one boy thinks that bisexuality doesn't exist and that it is, in essence, an infatuation with sex. Greedy double-dipping, if you will.
Tila Tequila, anyone?

5) What about pansexuality? Do you think it's really possible to be gender-blind?

6) Are bisexuality and pansexuality the same as being gay in that (my opinion, of course), one is born with that sexual orientation (or lack thereof)?

7) What about looking at sexual orientation from a scientific perspective? Does it come down to genes? Do you think it's possible that being gay is a recessive gene or do you think it's a genetic mutation deviating from the norm of being straight (an argument with some heft, I might add)?

8) Do you think that society will ever truly embrace other sexual orientations besides 'straight', considering the fact that it's no longer crucial for every person to contribute to the effort of perpetuating our species?

9) Do you think it's possible that as the need to have kids lessens, we will have less sex and in time, our sexual drive to procreate will slowly dissipate, causing sexuality to become the new 'vestigial organ'? A little sci-fi, but what's the harm in speculating?


And everyone, for the love of science, please, PLEASE, don't drag "God" into this discussion unless "He" is your response/explanation for Question 6.
Other than that, answer all, answer some- I just want to hear some opinions.

One More Thing:
People, curse in here if you want. I couldn't give a rat's ass if you say 'fuck' or 'shit' etc. Don't be offended unless someone says something like, "Fuck you!" or similar.
So let's not be too oversensitive, ya dig?
(that one was for you- yeah, you)

[Christian the Heretic]

"your just being........w/e"
Tisk, tisk. I remain unimpressed.

"just let people talk and say their opinions. Not everything is seen your way."
Has the fact that I opened this discussion and have yet to really attack someone not tell you that I want to hear opinions other than my own?
In fact, isn't the declaration that I want opinions specifically mentioned in the beginning?
You attacked me with a bunch of questions about my questioning sexuality and my right to want to learn rather than actually answering the questions that I wanted everyones' opinions on. What does that say about your supposed refusal to judge people?

"another stop on the way to Gay Town"
If you don't find that line funny, you have no sense of humor.

[jess troy]

1. it can be, but not neccesarily
2. i would think that is bicuriosity
3. you are still attracted to your own sex, but in choosing a life parter, same or different, you give up sexual relations with anyone except them
4. in the event that you are only serious about the opposite sex, or same sex, and use the other as mere recreation
5. no. come on... if its a guy, you know what they've got down their, and same for girls... if its a sexual relationship, it is impossible
6. no.
7. yes. being gay/straight/otherwise is something that develops without outward effects
8. umm, Providencetown, MA, anyone?
9. that would just be... terrible... no sex?

[Christian the Heretic]

"umm, Providencetown, MA, anyone?"
I'm going to assume you live in a community with deep, anti-homosexual sentiments?
*grins*

"that would just be... terrible... no sex?"
Mostly sad. A sad, sad thing, if it were ever to happen...

[Sinnymun]

Actually Provincetown's zip code has the highest concentration of same-sex couple households of any zip code in the United States. And they have great pride events and things. I think she was referring to it as a place where being gay is really well accepted.

[Christian the Heretic]

That makes a bit more sense.
Gracias.

We have a Provincetown in PA, it's named 'New Hope'.
Which is really a perfect name for the place.

[Hel]

I've been there! It's amazing, you just see gay couples hand in hand everywhere. Every place should be like that, with the openess of sexuality not everyone should be gay, of course.

[Hel]

1) I reckon that one could be bisexual for their entire life. Which brings me on to...
3) (I'll come back to two in a minute, this seems a more logical order) I think that even though this person has 'settled' for one sex it doesn't stop them from being bisexual. As others have said: they would still feel attracted to the same sex.
2) I think it's possible to love someone in a none-sexual way. Which would apply to both same and opposite sex. So in a way, this would mean yes. But going a step further and kissing said person is making this sexual and therefore I would consider the person to be bisexual by definition.
4) I think that bisexuality is often not taken seriously because a lot of people consider it to be 'greedy'. This is partly because of the reasons offered earlier in the discussion: that it has become 'cool' to be bisexual as it sets you apart from the crowd. However, I feel that a lot of people are legitemately bisexual and not taken seriously because of this stereotype.
5) No, I don't think that this is possible. You can't take away how separated the genders have become. Just recently I read a discussion on here about a guy not 'understanding' girls. It has become obvious that we have separated the genders too much. Sadly, I think that there is no going back from this.
6) I don't think that people are born gay or straight or with any sexual orientation at all for that matter. This is decided in later life.
7) Relating to my last response I find it possible that it could be a gene which doesn't 'kick in' till we're older and begin puberty. But I find genetics in sexual orientation a lot more plausible after reading through this disscussion.
8) I'd like to think that we will, but not for that reason. All people don't think that it's wrong to be gay just because they are procreationists (although obviously this is a big reason). If only someone could take a time machine back to when they wrote the bible/torah/Qu'ran etc. and write 'thou shalt accept homosexuality'. It would solve a lot of problems.
9) Nah!

I must say I have found this discussion fascinating.

[Christian the Heretic]

"I don't think that people are born gay or straight or with any sexual orientation at all for that matter. This is decided in later life."
While this isn't the case for all gays, how do you explain the little boy that never wanted to play with legos, but only with dolls, and dressed up in his mommy's and sister's clothing? In an the old apartment complex where I used to live, there was a boy just like this. It was extremely obvious that he was/is gay.

When do you think sexual orientation is "decided" and how do you think one decides? Is it like choosing what to wear in the morning, "Hmmm, I'm feeling in royal blue mood today- I think I'll wear this top!" or like, "This feels right to me; it always has" ?

[Hel]

I think that maybe the genetics are there from the beggining but we don't realise the sexual side of this until we reach puberty. Which is pretty obvious when you think about it.

[Amateur Awesome]

I love this subject, it's really contraversial*.
1) Not really, although you can understand why some people would think that. In some sense, every one is bisexual... But really, I dont think that its the "next stop", because if yer bisexual, you'll steal be liking the oppisite gender.
2) I dont really think so.
3) Now, I eventually got her to see that she is, in fact, still bisexual (because she's still attracted to girls), but do you think it's possible to just let go of that attraction to one's own sex?
Not really. Once you like the same gender, you cant really turn around and say you dont. Just like you cant say that you took drugs once, and then say you never did.
4) Well, to follow with my prior answer, if you are bicurious, then I'll have to continue to call you bisexual. (But, thats just me)
5) Yep~ I am.
6) I think that the sexual oreintation is a genetic thing, this is, though, based on evidence.
7) I wouldnt call it a mutation, maybe its an adaption to keep the population lower? The next step in evoulving*. And I wouldnt call it recessive either.
8) Here's hoping!!
9) I'm hoping that'll happen. The population is skyrockting, and the price of living is going up. If there were less people....

[Sinnymun]

I'm not sure that I agree with your opinion on point three. I mean, following your drug analogy, I used to smoke weed every day, but I haven't for over a year. Am I still a pot-head? To take a different example, I used to have ridiculously low self-esteem and do anything I could to make people like me, now I'm an assertive 'take no crap' stomping mamma. To speak directly to the point, I used to sleep with girls, but don't find them sexually or emotionally attractive anymore. Am I still bi-sexual? Putting that label on me (or anyone else) is a severe disservice and over-simplification. It also doesn't allow for people to go through natural phases and changes as they live. It's like locking someone into how they used to be, or feel, or act.

[Amateur Awesome]

I'm not trying to use a label, or "lock some one how they used to be". If the person demanded to be called hetreosexual (or clean, to provide a broader example), then I'd call them such. But in my mind I'd still have the connexion that they were "once" bisexual or "once" a pothead. I'm going to relate it to an addiction, if you do the drug once and get addicted, but then become clean, the addiction stays with you.
(Oi, sorry if I offended, ent my intention.)