Let's piss off Voldemort.

[awestruckaudrey]

Right, name some insults or things to do that would get you a loving Unforgivable Curse thrown your way..
Have fun!

[awestruckaudrey]

Here are a few of mine, that I made up and found:

Ask him why he doesn't have a cool scar?

Keep on telling him how in Tolkien's universe Elves live forever, and they don't have to use Horcruxes to do so.

Summon Voldemort with the dark mark, when he arrives smack him and yell, "Tag! Your it!" and frantically run away.

Ask him why he can't be more like Darth Vader.

Tell him no matter what he does, Sauron will always be the cooler villain. And he's been alive for thousands of years. Immortal, really.

Comment that at least Vader, since he's ugly and deformed, has the common sense to wear a mask to cover that hideous mug of his. Then ask Voldemort what happened to his nose.

Tell him Dolorus Umbridge has the hots for him. Tell him you've given Dolorus his contact info, including the location of all his main hideouts for some romantic liasons.

Knit him things. Really hideous things.

Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...' .

Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

Tell him he is a filthy mudblood..

Ask him if his wand is trying to make up for something.

Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

Tell him to eat all his greens, so he can grow big and strong and might be able to defeat certain people some day.

Tell him he sounds just like Harry when he says something.

Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...

Draw Potter glasses and a scar on him while he sleeps..

Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

Quote the rugrats at him.

Ask him does he have his screwdriver.

Tell him 'hey, you really forgot to be awesome, didn't you?'

Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

Sing Micky to him, changing Micky to Voldy.

Tell him to take a chill-pill.

Call him Voldy-Woldy.

Teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

Tell him the Death look went out years ago.

Ask him to sign a petition. Countless times.

Sing 'Accio Deathly Hallows', really loudly..then just go hmm, you die interesting.

Ask him does he remember that really drunken night years ago..when he met the redhead in the bar, you know with those cute green eyes..What happened to her the next day?

Always ask him riddles, beginning with 'riddle me this'.

Bake him cookies. Give him them with a glass of milk. When he's finished tell him 'whos a good ickle boy, you is who is? Yess you are!' Press his nose and sigh ' I think I pressed your nose in too far that time '.

Tell him hmm, robes? Okay, good fashion choice.

Insist that he made Harry what he is today.

Go to him, 'hey, arn't you really pissed that Harry can talk to snakes too...bummer.'

'You are not going out dressed like that'.

Give him a sock.

Ask him isn't Harry such a dreamboat?

'Jacob or Edward?', be offended at whichever he chooses and give him filthy looks telling him you didn't know he liked that sort of thing.

Give him a light saber..'now isn't that better' and pat his head.

Say 'so's your face' or 'that's what she said' after everything he says.

Repeat everything he says back to him in the form of a question.

Sent him howlers.

Tell him the way to kill Harry Potter is "as plain as the nose on... oops! Never mind."

Tell him that he is such a n00b.

Yell out FAIL whenever he brings up the subject of Harry Potter.

Potter pwn'd you again? Ah God, Tom really? *sigh*

Ask him is he sure he didn't belong in Hufflepuff?

'So you and Dumbledore eh?'

Ask him did he get shampoo in his eyes, then ask him why he was near the shampoo.

Constantly sing "Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away....on my way to where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?"

Tell him it's a shame he wasn't brave enough to get into Gryffindor (and point out that Harry Potter was).

Ask him did he consider all the anagrams before deciding on 'I Am Lord Voldemort', like he could of called himself 'Immortal Odd Lover', or 'Immortal Dove Lord', or 'Adored Vim Moll Rot', or 'Lord Mermaid Volto'. Or my just using Tom Riddle he could be called ' Timed Lord', or 'Dirt Old Me'.

Ask him why he didn't choose the longbottom child. At least once every day.

Ask him if he was pissed off for the films removing some of his scenes.

Tell him to at least put on deodrant!

Sigh, and tell him he used to be so pretty, and hold up a photo of him in his Hogwarts days.

Shake your head and tell him that there is so many people he failed to kill, even that muggle that Filch named his cat after.

Make him do the Thiller dance. Imperio.. *evil laugh*.

Sing Monster Mash.

Ask him is it not about time he got over his angst stage.

Tell him his wrist is sorta limp.

'Thou smell of mountain goat'.

Tell him he has a carcass fit for hounds.

Sing 'Go go Death Eaterrs nowwnowwowooww' á la Power Rangers.

Tell him to go ask The Joker for help.

Tell him at least he done his best whenever his plans are foiled.

Ask him did he consider killing himself, so he could become a ghost before he settled on the Horcrux plan.

Give him coke...with pop rocks.

Pick out all the bad flavoured Every Flavour Beans and put them in a seperate box...offer him some and insist he continues until he finds one he likes.

Insist on all the Death Eaters singing 'Kumbayah'.

After his latest plan gets foiled by Harry. Say 'the exact same thing happened on Scooby Doo last night..those meddling kids', and shake your head.

Ask him did he love Lily, and when (or if) he says no then ask why didn't he want to kill her?

Ask him if he is pissed that he doesn't have a Chocolate Frog Wizard Card.

Look at him with a starry expression and say "I want to be just like you when I grow to be an old man."

Wave your hand infront of his face saying "Not touching can't get mad. Not touching can't get mad!"

Carve his wand in the shape of a little totem pole with eagle, bear and heart : ) Then present him with it in a little box wrapped up nice and neat and say with the sweetest smile you can muster up "I just wanted to get you something nice."

Anything from Potter Puppet Pals.

[Bekah Smith]

XD

[Luna]

Wow those are really good ^^ I'm re-reading the 7th one right now so yay!

Here's one I found on Mugglenet: make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

[Katie Armstrong]

Lol that was amazing :D

[Kylie]

tell him to clip his fingernails.

[Caitlin]

"Ever heard of a dentist?"

[Nerdfighter Gina]

Follow him around with a bottle of lysol and spray everything he touches.

[Fred]

Dude, that's brilliant.

[Chip, A Former Ningmaster]

"Have we met somewhere before? We're you at the Muggle-Lovers convention in London?!"
"Funny Bunny called, he wants his personality back."
"STOP! In the naaaaaaaaame of loooooooooove!"
"I believe I can flyyyyyyyy."

[awestruckaudrey]

"Have we met somewhere before? We're you at the Muggle-Lovers convention in London?!"
- I lol'd.
:)

[Emily]

ahaha i love the stop in the name of love one!

[Lothran]

pick him last for the death eater's dodgeball team

"accidentally" leave your notebook full of doodles of his name surrounded by hearts where he can find it

make a list of pros and cons comparing him to Darth Vader and Sauron

suggest a Celebrity Deathmatch between him and Harry

start giggling whenever he enters the room

leave encouraging but patronizing sticky notes all over his room