Alright, here it goes: I'm 19-year-old girl who's never been kissed. I'm in college right now. I just turned 19 today and it's got me thinking... is this weird? Being a nerd, I wasn't exactly popular back in high school either. But now, in college, it's just that I've heard friends who talk about partying and clubbing. I'm not into that stuff, but I guess I'm just frustrated that all my friends have had relationships and gone out on dates and I...well, I haven't.
Is this odd? I don't really know who else to ask (kind of too embarrassed to ask my friends about this because they all say to just find someone and get it over with with anyone). I don't think that's what I really want...so advice?
Romantics are duplicitous. By not having them, you feel you are flawed. Why? Do you wish to have kids? If so, why not adopt? If not, what's the point, not feeling alone? Are friends not enough?
If you don't want kids, and you've got friends, live in a place where prostitution is cheap and legal and you wouldn't really have a problem. Oh, am I supposed to give you gentle but passive nudges towards self-improvement, and go "Rah rah rah, you can do anything you put your mind to"? You ask this question because you are lazy: you want sympathy for being sexually lonely. You think romantics fall in people's laps. You want something, then work for it.
You got a problem, you know how to fix it. You want to have sex? Too prideful to pay? Do something about it. Everybody is capable of extraordinary things: it's what you do with what you've got that counts. This is one of the ordinary, not important, illogical things. It is not a hurtle. Stop treating sex like it is a skyscraper with only a rope to climb with. You know what men want, either make it happen or make it look like it happened. Lying? Trickery? Whatever. Ends justify the means when something as trivial as sex is involved.
Hooray, the non-constructive criticisms of an auto-contrarian with a fixation on a distorted concept of personal accountability that does more to flaunt his supposed intellectual superiority than it does to serve of any use to anyone else.
I dunno about you guys, but I feel both shamed and inspired.
I know you think that being nice solves problems, but nice doesn't stick in the brain as much as the blunt response. Nice inflates the ego. The ego is undernourished: it needs something to actually grow from. Compliments are a superficial solution to an underlying condition. I realize that I'm talking to a 19 year old. I realize the people read my response and probably think I'm an ass. I crafted that response specifically for her. Nobody else's perceptions of that response are as relevant as her own.
You're almost insane enough to be fascinating.
You weren't being blunt about the truth or delivering tough love about the harsh realities of adulthood. That would come with useful insight. You are just being obnoxious for obnoxious sake. Because this is the internet.
I don't "get kicks for bullying chicks". I'm not a misogynist. I've been where she's at, and I know that if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't want to hear what I'd said. But I'd still read it. It'd still seeth inside me. I'd want to prove that person wrong, because of that inner rebellion. I'd let those words bother me for weeks, at least. While compliments? You think she'll remember your compliment for more than a couple of seconds? You think she will remember, "oh, the guys who said empty nice things to me on the nerdfighters website"? She will remember the compliments as a feeling. A feeling that will be both flattered but be looked at cynically and critically, as she already has low self-confidence. That feeling will carry over, until it is overwritten by a stronger one. The emotional memory will then disappear.
Yeah, I was being blunt. I basically said: you aren't getting laid because you put not a lot / no effort into your appearance or mannerisms. That she was fishing for compliments and not looking for answers.
So, to the girl, the answers you seek are there. You've got four limbs and a brain (and the all-mighty internet), so there is something you haven't tried that works for others. The emulation of successful people works, but there are foundational elements I'm sure you haven't even tried. Try reading about body language and seduction. Ask some internet pros how to improve your appearance, aside from using a good moisturizer, good hygiene, and getting your body in shape.
And you're officially fascinating.
I'll take insanity as a compliment ^^
I didn't mean it as an insult.
Do you really think any woman on this forum is dumb enough to think getting laid is difficult?
Frankly, girls don't have to work hard at all to get laid, if that's their only goal. A girl can look like Quasi-modo and Chewbacca's love child and there'd still be people who would hit that. Big whoop-de-doo. We all know there are guys out there who will bang anything that holds still long enough.
Perhaps she'd rather find a higher caliber of guy? One who's actually worthwhile?
Although this is the first time I've seen someone justify acting like an *insert expletive here* by claiming it's for the other person's own good. You get points for creativity.
Maybe later I'll go to Taco Bell and act like a jackass and make the cashier's life hell so that he or she can become a better person and a more skillful employee by trying to deal with my behavior! Isn't teaching fun?!
This reminds me of an old joke: Guys are like parking spaces. The good ones are either taken or handicapped.
You sir, appear to be at the faaaaar end of the Disneyland parking lot, in the "troll" section.
If you think I'm a troll, you sure act like someone who doesn't encounter them often. Misery may, in fact, create positive effects. This I didn't so much as say, though I do believe it.
To answer your question, which I assume you think is rhetorical, yes. I do believe there are people who "are stupid enough" to think that.
To paraphrase what I said earlier, since you either skimmed or misunderstood it, the messages with the thorns with good intentions have a more lasting effect than the ones with no shape or form at all. Obviously, sexual pleasure is derived from the person. Getting a guy drunk and him passing out on top of you after 2 minutes with no foreplay "could" be called sex. I'd call it pathetic.