Am i doing the right thing?

Theres something i did tonight, that even though my best friend will probably hate me for.. is the best thing for her, i am only trying to watch out for her wellbeing... so, i did something i know will probably destroy her and make her so mad at me when she finds out about it.. but i did it for her... even though i know she's going to hate it, it's going to make everything better in the long run.

Am i doing the right thing? or am i being selfish?

edit: Less vaugeness :D sorry guys, i wasn't feeling up to talking about it when i posted this first.

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Well shes been into some bad situations.. and i fear shes going to get herself hurt or killed... I told her mother, and shes most likely going to a boot camp type thing to straighten her out, thats what her mom said.. but she didnt want to go in the first place and shes the one who told me this.. she said that she'd have to leave all her friends and stuff to go to this camp, (because her mom threatened it on her before) but now she might actually be going and it's because i told her mom.

Bad situations = drugs, sneaking out, not eating for days.. getting mixed up with the wrong crowed, alcohol.. she says it's not that bad anymore yet she still hangs around a dangerous type of crowd who shes aware does drugs and messes with shit, her boyfriend was in a gang in LA.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Erika on November 6, 2009 at 12:23am: Well if it actually is what's best for her then probably, but it's hard to make a judgement on whether it was right or not without knowing what it is you did.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michelle on November 6, 2009 at 12:34am: Well shes been into some bad situations.. and i fear shes going to get herself hurt or killed... I told her mother, and shes most likely going to a boot camp type thing to straighten her out, thats what her mom said.. but she didnt want to go in the first place and shes the one who told me this.. she said that she'd have to leave all her friends and stuff to go to this camp, (because her mom threatened it on her before) but now she might actually be going and it's because i told her mom.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Erika on November 6, 2009 at 12:40am: Well in that situation I think you did the right thing. She may not be happy with what you did, but if it keeps her from getting herself killed it's definitely worth it. And hopefully at some point she'll understand that you did it because you care about her.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by President Clive-φ-Davidson on November 6, 2009 at 12:38am: This really depends on what you did and what the situation was...

You might have made a hasty decision. I can't tell until you give me the details.
Sorry.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michelle on November 6, 2009 at 12:48am: Read the post now >_> i just added the details.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by President Clive-φ-Davidson on November 6, 2009 at 1:03am: Okay, you were probably doing the right thing. As usual, I can't really say because I don't know her or what she was doing etc.

You have certainly done what you think was the best for her anyway, so you are in the right.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jim MacDougal on November 6, 2009 at 12:45am: You were vague so I'll have to be vague. If you are right and this was the best thing for your friend then you did right. Just don't plan on being appreciated for it. Unless there is world and self view shifting proof, clue-by-four between the eyes proof, then your friend will never believe you did them a favor. Never ever. Your act to save them will be perceived as betrayal unless proven otherwise (or until forever comes). To save your friend you sacrificed your friendship. Again, your mileage may vary, but this is the best I can do with what you have told me. Walk away, knowing you TRIED to do the best you could. Forgiveness is up to her, if she can't do that then walk away.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michelle on November 6, 2009 at 12:49am: see the details above, i edited my post D: sorry.. i didnt type it up earlier.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jim MacDougal on November 6, 2009 at 1:06am: She knew this might happen, she knew she was doing something her mom would send her away for doing, and she did it anyway. She needs a kick in the ass. You have done her a favor, if this works.

But you have lost her as a friend, for the short term, and maybe for the long term (that will depend on her). You may have saved her life - be prepared for her to hate you for it, and for her to try and get everyone she (and you) know to hate you for it. Harsh. But it saved her life. Let that be your reward. And if she can't come around to realize that you have saved her life then let her wanting nothing to do with you also be your reward - you are well rid of her. If, in the remote future (don't bother waiting for it) she gets her head around to missing you and appreciating what you've done for her then be forgiving, this will be yet another reward and you should accept it. Don't be bitter or make her grovel. And if this day never comes...you did your best.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bobbi K on November 6, 2009 at 1:07am: Hey there
My friend was in a bad place when I met him, I won't go into details but me and his dad got him sent to boot camp. It was the best decision we ever made, he came back in a better state of mind and having learnt so much that helped him . Its hard I know having been there and from my experience he hated me, I had to kick him on the plane to get there.
Your situation may not come out the same way but if this is the best thing for your friend then they will understand that in time. I know were you have been but stay strong, its gonna get bad but stick in there because they are going to need your love and support.

I hope that helps; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michelle Bruder on November 6, 2009 at 11:36am: Well.
it really depends EXACTLY what it is she was doing
But your friend's well-being should come above everything , and as long as there was nothing else you could have done then it was probably the right thing.
Not too long ago my best friend got her into a bad situation. I made it clear I wasn't happy with it, but aside from that I did nothing.
It took a turn for the worse and after it was all said and done, she asked me why the hell I didn't give her an ultimatum, why I didn't do something more extreme.
And I regret not doing anything. A lot.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michelle Bruder on November 6, 2009 at 2:14pm: Also, "bad situations" is really broad.
I mean, you could mean sneaking out to making out with random guys to shooting people to shooting heroin.
I gave you the benefit of the doubt and acted more as if it were something incredibly serious with no other solution, but everything is situation dependent and if you want any hardcore insight we'll need to know the actual situation; ▶ Reply to This