Bisexuality

[Sarah Elizabeth]

Okay so I've been having a little bit of trouble identifying as bisexual, because people seem to feel that you have to choose to be either straight or gay, and that to be bisexual is to either be experimenting or unwilling to admit that you're gay. I even have a gay acquaintance who says that bisexuals are "fakers". However for me, its the person I am attracted to, not the gender, and bisexuality is the easiest way to explain that to people.

So I wanted to pose the question, what do you think about the Bisexual label? Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with bisexuality, because I don't really believe that sexuality is a black or white deal. But I'd like to hear from other people.

[Sean-tor Krum]

I think that you should be yourself. If you're bisexual, as I am, then you're bisexual, not gay or lesbian. Yes, you could turn either way or you could go back to being straight, but I'm bisexual. It's different from being gay or lesbian. You're right, this isn't a black or white deal. When I came out to my best friend in May, she said something like "Oh, okay. Are you sure you're bi or are you leaning back towards straight?" I said "I'm bisexual. Not gay. Not straight. Bisexual." I do have a 45/55 lean more towards women, but I do look at a lot of men.
I just think that if you are what you are, that's awesome. Don't let some silly label make you an "experiment of sexuality." Just because we're bisexual doesn't mean that we are confused all the time.

[Tova C.E]

Actually I think it's kind of useless to label yourself any of those things - straight, gay or bi. People are sexual. End of discussion.

But then there are labels and boxes, and people are going to want to put you in a box.
And in that case, it is important to know bisexuality isn't just something straight people call themselves to seem more interesting and gay people call themselves to seem more "normal"...

[CaptainElaine(Strawbee)Harkness]

*glomps Sean* Definitely correct. *bi 5*

[Rachel Disaster]

I love people and who they are, not their anatomy.

[Rachel Disaster]

And to that I say, Amen!

[actrezz gal*]

i agree with every piece of your response

[Yuki Booth]

I am Bisexual, none of my friends seem to have a problem with it, but there is a guy who says I can't be either or, he said I need to chose one because to be Bisexual it would mean I'm cheating on both genders, I kicked him in the nuts.

I'm like you, It doesn't matter what gender or nationality, or even what religion for me. When I told my mom I was Bisexual she acted like I said 'Hi Mom, I had a good day at school today?' she just said 'Oh that's nice hun, can you get something for me from the top cabinet?' (I'm 6"11) But some teen's parents have a harder time of accepting the sexuality of their children but eventually they come to live with it. Friends are a different case, if your friend doesn't care what you are sexuality, religion, or race then they are probably a true friend, but those who say they can't be friends with you either have parents telling them they can't or they are just that way.

AND 5 STARS FOR NERDOSEXUALS AND HUGS *Hugs all nerdosexuals and others* xD (I love how on here completely serious things can be turned into somethin silly, but this is still serious, the nerdosexual thing just caught me off gaurd when I read it...)

[Niki]

I agree and understand because I identify myself as bisexual as well. I'm confident enough to know what I like and I don't believe that I would reject any part of myself whether I was gay or straight. I don't think sexuality is exclusive in fact I think it can change over time and over a person's lifetime. It all boils down to personal preference. For example I am attracted to women on a higher emotional level than I am to men which makes perfect sense to me. I'm attracted to both sexes on a physical and emotional level and my preferences depend on my mood. The importance is I know what I'm looking for in both genders and I'm not 'experimenting' or as some ignorant guy told me excessively promiscuous. I think people need more education on bisexuality and it needs more positive and healthy exposure :)

On a less serious note I am most definate4ly nerdosexual.

GLOMP for making this thread and to everyone on here.

[Saoirse Kelly]

I like who I like to be honest. If they're a guy or a girl, it really doesn't bother me. I AM attracted to both genders, and there is nothing I can do about it. I fall for girls all the time. I think most people find themselves in a position where they find someone of the same gender attractive and they just won't admit it. Sexuality is like a scale, barely anyone is at the extremes.

[Emma]

This topic has made me feel like so much less of a leper :)
And also, "nerdosexual"? That is just beautiful! Oh dear I love it!
As for me, I am bisexual. One of my friends is pansexual, and she was trying to convince me that bi people are so much more discriminatory than pansexuals, and blah blah blah, and made me feel really guilty about it (she considers the term "pansexual" to mean that she doesn't care what gender/age/race someone is, or what equipment they have, or whatever -- she only cares about the mind). But after that conversation I realized why I don't identify as pansexual, and it made me feel a little bit better. I don't have a problem with race, I don't have a problem with transsexuals or transgender or transvestite or whatever -- I don't care about equipment or what gender they identify from. The only thing that keeps me from being pansexual? I have a very different relationship with guys than I do with girls.

Guys are the ones I usually go towards, just because that's my natural instinct (on the Kinsey scale, I'm closer to 1 than 10). I love men and I think they're gorgeous, I like some guys' personalities sometimes. But I usually end up connecting better emotionally with girls, and I am sexually attracted to them. However, usually I'll get to know a girl way better before going out with them than I would a guy (I tend to get into relationships with guys very fast), and by the time I know that girl well enough to consider dating her, she's filling the "best friend" role in my life, and I never want to lose a best friend in exchange for a relationship, so the relationship never happens. I've never kissed a girl, never dated one really. But I've been with plenty of men, just because I don't take as much time to get to know guys as I do with girls. It's the difference in how I approach relationships with both genders that makes me not a pansexual. Oh, and plus, I'm not okay with certain ages.. I don't want my relationship to be illegal or overly creepy. Maybe that's discriminatory, but I'm just not okay with dating grandfathers when I'm sixteen >.br />
Sorry for the overly humongous response to this topic, I just got excited and carried away! <3

[Terry]

Me and some other GSA friends have this problem. My one friend who's bi said when he finally told people they instantly assumed he was a gay pervert. I think some people just have one set thing that if you like someone of the same gender your the same as every one else who thinks the same. The same applies to pretty much everyone though, that's why discrimination exists in the first place.
Also, some of my friends went through the opposite of the stereotype at hand and identified themselves as gay at first then began to say bisexual instead.

[Sarah Elizabeth]

Sometimes I wonder if this isn't a socially constructed comfort mechanism.... in the months since I've started this topic and read the dialogue, I've come to realize that sexuality may not be a static entity... putting a box or a label around sexuality is a tricky business because only a fraction of love is physical attraction, and the rest is so much deeper. But as a society we have a hard time with vague definitions, and we like to have labels so that we can point to something and say "this is exactly what this is, there is no unknown and there is no mystery so I can be okay with it." Maybe this is why the bisexual label receives so much backlash, because it is more comfortable for outsiders to understand/accept a male/male or female/female or male/female relationship, but when it becomes more vague than that with bisexuality or pansexuality, there is a removal of comfort, because a person can't be boxed as easily.