Nerdfighters

It's a game. Bob and Sally will now show you how to play.

Bob: I wish I had a dog.
Sally: Granted, but it eats you. I wish I had a shirt.
Bob: Granted, but it's ugly.

Anyone who still doesn't know how to play can go jump in a lake to some other Ning because this one clearly PROHIBITS OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY is not for you.

Disclaimer: This is a pretty common forum game, so it might have been here before. No, I did not search the forum to find out if this is a repeat thread, so any trolls can feel free to tell me that it is and I'll take the discussion down. But, you know, *lazy*...

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Granted but there isn't any books in it, just shelves.

I wish I had more sweets right now.

you do, but they are poisonous.

 

i wish for a quick and painless death.

granted, but you die before you can get married. 

i wish i wasn't so hopeless at romance.

you aren't, but you become hopeless at everything else and all the women in the world disapear for a week, in which time you die.

 

i wish for no more deaths today.

Granted but many die tomorrow.

I wish I would die a slow painful death at the hands of evil men. 

you do, then you go to hell and suffer horrific torture for all time.

 

i wish for no effect to come from this wish whatsoever.

Granted, but because this is corrupt a wish there has to be an effect. Since you wished for no effect you cause a paradox which creates an alternative world where we are ruled by hamsters.

 

I wish that our hamster overlords wouldn't work us so hard.

granted, they instead hire gorillas to do the work and have us all executed, except a select few, including you, who they use as presents for th gorillas. the gorillas work us much much harder than the hamsters ever did.

 

i wish for a potato.

Granted, but the potato explodes when you get it and one of the larger pieces blinds you by hitting your eye.

I wish that I could have and read all of the books in the world and retain the knowledge.

you can, but the knowledge fills up so much of your brain that it takes over important areas, such as remembering to breathe and how to talk.

 

i wish that this wish was not a wish.

Granted but you develop paranoid schizophrenia due to constant and excessive thought on paradoxial questions.

I wish I would die a slow painful death at the hands of evil demons in hell and than suffer there for all eternity.

You don't enjoy it.

I wish you did.

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