Granted but you don't.
I wish I had a Pike.
Granted, but the pike is too flimsy for it to be used.
I wish that I wasn't sick anymore.
Granted, you die of your sickness.
I wish I had more pudding.
I die from nausea? Okay. . .
Granted, but the amount of pudding is house sized and you are required to eat it all in twenty-four hours. The punishment for not doing so is death.
I wish that my favorite jacket didn't get soaked in the rain yesterday.
Granted, it was every other peice of clothing you own that got soaked as compensation.
I wish I had something to do.
Granted. That something is blowing your nose because that wish made you sick.
I wish that I had bread and turkey meat for a sandwich.
Granted, but the bread is molded and the turkey has been sitting out on the counter for weeks.
I wish that I had a ticket.
Granted, but the ticket gets stolen two minutes after you get it. Your wallet gets taken too.
I wish that I had another book.
Granted but it's the worst book ever written.
I wish that I was Disney Princess.
Granted, but you are a secret one that no one knows about, that they never made stories of, that they never explained.
I wish I could meet Hank and John Green.
Granted, but..... well, I can't really make that suck, actually.
oh! Umm... you get... attacked by.... an... angry Hanklerfish?
yeah, that couldn't suck.
Oh! Okay, you meet them, but they have no idea who you are, or why you are essential to the plot. Then They edit you out of the final copy of their lives.
I wish I had writing skills like John.
Granted, but the only type of literature you can write is pornographic.
I wish I could use photosynthesis to get my nutrients.