granted, but America turns out to be a hellhole of all that is wrong with humanity a cesspool for every evil in the world. and you wind up in the deeeeeeeeeeeeep south where everyone is part of the kkk
I wish I was Jesus.
yes, but your not really Jesus, it turns out you are mentally unsound and have delusions that you're Jesus.
I wish I lived in the UK
Granted but a facist coup soon takes over Britain and expels all foreigners, including you.
I wish I had godlike powers without being insane.
Granted but your godlike power is the ability to sneeze extremely quietly.
I wish I had more nerdfighter friends.
Granted but you lose all your other friends.
I wish I was a descendant of King Arthur.
Granted but the day you find out is because one of your cousins is seeking all descendants of king Author's to sacrifice them for power.
I wish I had a nice hat.
Granted, but it's too big for your head, and you cannot see anything anymore.
I wish my Hogwarts letter came at last.
Granted but you get sorted in to the wrong house
i wish my life had a soundtrack.
Granted. It is entirely made of of monks singing Elvis Presley as Gregorian chants, with jingle bells as backup.
I wish I had more candy.
Granted, but you get attacked by the Easter bunny since it was taken from him to be given to you.
I wish I could be space president.
granted but your only subject is space core
i wish i had an endless libary