Nerdfighters

It's a game. Bob and Sally will now show you how to play.

Bob: I wish I had a dog.
Sally: Granted, but it eats you. I wish I had a shirt.
Bob: Granted, but it's ugly.

Anyone who still doesn't know how to play can go jump in a lake to some other Ning because this one clearly PROHIBITS OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY is not for you.

Disclaimer: This is a pretty common forum game, so it might have been here before. No, I did not search the forum to find out if this is a repeat thread, so any trolls can feel free to tell me that it is and I'll take the discussion down. But, you know, *lazy*...

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Granted but you get sorted in to the wrong house

i wish my life had a soundtrack.

Granted. It is entirely made of of monks singing Elvis Presley as Gregorian chants, with jingle bells as backup. 

I wish I had more candy.

Granted, but you get attacked by the Easter bunny since it was taken from him to be given to you.

I wish I could be space president. 

granted but your only subject is space core

i wish i had an endless libary

Granted but it's filled with Vashta Nirvada (doctor who)

I wish I had a velociraptor hunting liscense. 

Granted but the velociraptors kill you.

I wish me neighbors would stop getting stoned.

Granted, but now they just get drunk.

I wish I did not need to sleep but could if I wanted to. 

Granted, but every time you choose to sleep you also have to choose 1 type of delicious junk food you are now forbidden to eat.

I wish I could read my professor's minds.

Granted, but his thought are so strange and twisted to your mind, that you become insane.

I wish that I was able to stop and start time with no detriment to my being or to other people, or the galaxy itself.

Granted, But a species of animal and a species of plant goes extinct every time you use your time stopping ability.

I wish for a kingdom to rule over.

Granted, but people think it's a dystopia and they rebel against your regime and kill you.

I wish I could have a good time in Spain (I'm going there on Saturday)

Granted, but your plane/ship is crashed on the way home.

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