Corrupt a Wish.

[Terra Rose]

It's a game. Bob and Sally will now show you how to play.

Bob: I wish I had a dog.
Sally: Granted, but it eats you. I wish I had a shirt.
Bob: Granted, but it's ugly.

Anyone who still doesn't know how to play can go jump in a lake to some other Ning because this one clearly PROHIBITS OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY is not for you.

Disclaimer: This is a pretty common forum game, so it might have been here before. No, I did not search the forum to find out if this is a repeat thread, so any trolls can feel free to tell me that it is and I'll take the discussion down. But, you know, *lazy*...

[Austin Cox]

Granted, but now you have no way of getting what is in your head down.

I wish that Nerdfighteria was an actual physical place where we could all hang out.

[Emmeline R.]

Granted, but that place is on the opposite side of the world from where you live.

I wish I could make characters come to life.

[Eleanor Schuey]

Granted, but they all hate you.

I wish I had an iPhone.

[Alex Miller]

Granted, but the lightsaber app is permanently on, making constant swooshing noises.

[Zabet]

 I wish I had a dragon

[Eleanor Schuey]

Granted, but it imediately eats your family and friends.
I wish I were tall.

[Hutch Hogan]

Your enormous height ostracizes you from people, if you stand up, your blood rushes down your legs at terminal velocity.  After you pass, your skeleton is used as a space elevator. 

I wish that my wish doesn't come true. 

[Jenny Yule]

Granted but the paradoxial nature of your statement means you get no wish. And a hole gets ripped in the fabric of reality.

I wish I could go to Vidcon.

[Emmeline R.]

Granted but your tickets get stolen by a bird who uses them to furnish it's nest.

I wish I could meet Hank and John Green.

[Kayla Smith]

Granted. But they're zombies.

I wish it wasn't so hot.

[Hutch Hogan]

A mile of snow drops from above it's very cold.  You've also been squashed. 

I wish for the happiness of the next poster. 

[David Zebarah]

Granted.  And thank you.  What makes me happy is the zombie apocalypse.  Unfortunately you're one of the first to die.

I wish I had the deductive skills of Sherlock Holmes.