It's a game. Bob and Sally will now show you how to play.

Bob: I wish I had a dog.
Sally: Granted, but it eats you. I wish I had a shirt.
Bob: Granted, but it's ugly.

Anyone who still doesn't know how to play can go jump in a lake to some other Ning because this one clearly PROHIBITS OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY is not for you.

Disclaimer: This is a pretty common forum game, so it might have been here before. No, I did not search the forum to find out if this is a repeat thread, so any trolls can feel free to tell me that it is and I'll take the discussion down. But, you know, *lazy*...

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Granted, but you don't retain the knowledge after you're done school.

I wish I could have future books from series I love!

Granted, but the series abruptly gets shittier and shittier

I wish I was the most interesting man alive.
Granted but every member of your staff is schizophrenic.
I wish my mind was pure.

Granted, you brain has now been bleached, sanitized, rubbed with antibiotics and hosed down. Completely and totally pure.

I wish I was a sociopath.

Granted, but you now live in a maximum security mental facility.

I wish I had the initiative to do important stuff.

Granted, but you have no time for friends or fun, and your health is declining.

I wish we didn't have to make up snow days.

Granted but now you don't get any snow days no matter how much snow and ice there is.

I wish that I will pass all of my classes.

Granted but you decide this world isn't worthy of your purity and kill yourself. I wish I had a "what if" machine

Granted, but every 'what if' has the worst possible outcome.

Granted but it gives you the wrong answer half the time and you can't tell when.
I wish I got to spend the day with hank green hanging out.

Granted, but he can't talk or move while around you. 

I wish I had a magic homework-doing machine.

Granted, but it answers everything wrong

I wish I could go to LeakyCon


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