Nerdfighters

It's a game. Bob and Sally will now show you how to play.

Bob: I wish I had a dog.
Sally: Granted, but it eats you. I wish I had a shirt.
Bob: Granted, but it's ugly.

Anyone who still doesn't know how to play can go jump in a lake to some other Ning because this one clearly PROHIBITS OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY is not for you.

Disclaimer: This is a pretty common forum game, so it might have been here before. No, I did not search the forum to find out if this is a repeat thread, so any trolls can feel free to tell me that it is and I'll take the discussion down. But, you know, *lazy*...

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Granted, but it's the size of your face and can't fit in any of the aquariums you buy it, so it dies.

I wish I could skip school today and go watch Frozen instead

Granted, but you get the credits song stuck in your head so thoroughly that you are still humming it during your finals, which you fail because you missed crucial information on your day off school and haven't understood a word your teachers have said since.

I wish the world were a wish granting factory.

Granted, but soon afterwards the wish factory has new management that changes everything and slowly the wishes stop being granted more for wishes being imagined.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

Granted, but you are now so awake you will never sleep again much less dream.

I wish Thanksgiving break and Christmas break were connected by more break, and the time missed was added at the end of the school year. 

Granted, but now every awesome thing that happens over the summer now happens during the extended end of the school year.

I wish the education system as a whole were just...ya'know...better...

Sigh. I wish so too.

Granted, but then you're out of a job because everyone younger than you is now smarter than you.

I wish I could ace my classes without studying.

Granted, but you don't retain the knowledge after you're done school.

I wish I could have future books from series I love!

Granted, but the series abruptly gets shittier and shittier

I wish I was the most interesting man alive.
Granted but every member of your staff is schizophrenic.
I wish my mind was pure.

Granted, you brain has now been bleached, sanitized, rubbed with antibiotics and hosed down. Completely and totally pure.

I wish I was a sociopath.

Granted, but you now live in a maximum security mental facility.

I wish I had the initiative to do important stuff.

Granted, but you have no time for friends or fun, and your health is declining.

I wish we didn't have to make up snow days.

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