WHOA.. You had me cracking up at "chimichanga."
Well...That was depressing.
The new god-me deletes chimichangas from existence.
Granted, but every time you make it nice the next day's weather will be HORRIBLE (and you can't change that).
I wish I would stop procrastinating.
Granted, but you never do anything but work. You never eat, sleep, blink, or, eventually, breathe...
I wish I knew how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Granted, but then the world ends.
I wish I had Spiderman powers.
Granted, but you become a real spider and get stepped on.
I wish the internet was completely free and open across the entire universe.
Granted but that makes it excrutiatingly slow to use.
I wish I hadn't procrastinated on my project.
Granted, but its too late now.
I wish I was at Hogwarts right now.
Granted, but you're still a muggle.
I wish I had a cup of coffee.
Granted, but it's gas station swill.
I wish I could break dance.
Granted, but right after you learn you break your arm.
I wish I could go to the beach right now.