Granted, but he turns into Bino the Elephant after riding him the first time.
I wish I knew what to talk about to make an interesting vlog.
Granted, but nobody listens to you ever again.
I wish I was a Muggle.
Well, to make you a muggle I have to get rid of magic, but then if magic doesn't exist then your wish can't be granted, but then you're not a muggle, but then you make the wish... Magical loop. Forever. Boom.
I wish could have veto powers over other people's wishes.
Granted, but only if you do so by reciting a rhyming couplet consisting of real English language words, where the first line ends with "orange".
I wish there was a real English language word that rhymed with "orange".
Door Hinge. (This ain't my first rodeo, kid.)
I wish I could understand more than one language.
Lubido tua donata est, sed Latinem non scis et omnes nunc Latine loquentur.
I wish I hadn't needed a Latin dictionary for some of those words...
I suppose I should say that the above Latin translates as "Your wish is given, but you don't know Latin, and everyone speaks Latin now."
Your wish is granted...but you will always need an english dictionary for speaking.
I wish I could always see the horizon
Granted, but you have to light gasses with which to make it float.
I wish I had a glorious beard.
Granted, but you can't cut it and it grows so long you constantly trip on it.
I wish I could write really good essays in my sleep.
Granted, but they are never for the topic you need.
I wish I had a goldfish.