Dating Older People

[Allison Hosman]

So I would like to know you guy's opinions on dating people older than you. I am interested in a guy who is older than me and I'm not sure how go about it.

For the logistics of the situation, I'm 16, and the guy is 22. Any thoughts?

Thanks!

[Lisanne]

I don't see the problem, but it really depends on your personalities and what you want.
I dated a guys who was 21 when I was 16.. The only problem was that he was a lot more serious than I was.
I'd say go for it.

[Risk(y)Business]

I think I need more information, like are you still in high school? And is he in college/has a job already?

I think there's a big difference between a high schooler and a college person. That being said, it's also a legal thing, too. You have to make sure that he's not going to get in any trouble because you're under aged. I'm not sure what consent laws are for you (like where are you from?), but still. It's something to consider.

That being said, I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 26. It's about the same age gap, and I have to say, it's not really that big of an issue, but that's probably because we're already in our twenties, and even if he's in grad school and I'm an undergrad, we're at the same college and we're basically in the same place in our lives.

The problem with dating that much older when you're in high school is that you want to make sure that you don't cheat yourself out of any life experiences just because your partner is more ready to settle down than you are. For example, when you go to college, you want to make sure you're making the decision expressly for yourself, NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE, no matter how good the relationship is.

If they're the one, it'll work out, in other words.

Also, and I'm sorry about this, but a lot of times you have to consider what you would think if you were 22 years old and one of your friends were dating a 16 year old girl. That six years, especially when you're young, is pretty extreme. Honestly, if I one of my guy friends was doing that, I would question it. I would ask him what exactly he was doing, and I would be a little suspicious.

That being said, it's your call, and if you feel like this person is right for you, then go for it. Just know, six years is a lot for someone still in high school.

[Allison Hosman]

Well, I'm in high school. I will be entering my junior year soon, and he is....well....23. He is in a band, has a job, and was in the Marines. He really is a nice guy...but I don't know. I haven't talked to him in a very long time since I started this discussion here. It's nice to know what you all think though.

[Lena Lovegood]

I don't think it's that odd, I dated some one who was 26 when I was 19. It really depends on the specific person, some people have higher maturity levels and just get along better with people of a different age group.

[Ultimate Schnitzel]

This might help: http://www.familywatchdog.us/

[Catherine Rae]

I'm in the same situation. Right now the boy I'm in love with is 20, turning 21 on the 29th, and I'm only 15. It all depends on the guy, is he trust worthy? do you know that he's not just using you? Do you feel comfortable around him? And what's the difference between your maturity levels? Cause the guy that I like, he's been home schooled his whole life, our maturity levels are about the same. And I know 13 year olds with more experience then he has.
Also, where do you live (not being creepy) Because like where I live (Iowa) the legal age of consent is 16. So after you turn 16 basically you can date whomever you want. It all depends. (Side note, I dated this guy when I was 13, he was 18, that doesn't sound as bad as 15 and 21 >.<)
But I'd say with all things considered think it over, go with your gut.
Good luck =] DFTBA <3

[Risk(y)Business]

honestly, I think a general rule of thumb is if you're younger than 18, try for less than four years, and if you're older than 18, everything is pretty much fair game. But that's just me.

[Risk(y)Business]

I would still not be cool with it. Again, legalities. Again, different points in your life.

[Catherine Rae]

I would freak out if the girl was older cause I personally would never be able to date a boy younger then me. And girls mature faster then boys so with the girl being the younger of the two it's more acceptable cause of their maturity levels.

[Ana Ng (Lia)]

There are a few issues here. First is the legal issue, depending on where you live. Another is a maturity issue, and I think that is a very big concern because there are many changes in emotional/mental maturity in the late teens and early 20s. The brain develops and changes quite a bit in that gap. I would say after that point I don't see any problem with dating someone older than you. If you're younger than that I'd stick with people close to your age.

[Lenore103]

It depends on the guy. My dad was 21 and my mom was 16 when they started dating, and they're still together. But BE CAFEFUL! Some older guys are a real catch, but some are dickwads looking for young, impressionable girls to manipulate. That's what happened to my friend. She was 18 and he was 32, and I won't go on with details but it got real ugly real quick. I don't know anything about his guy but if you do, and you know he's an honest, respectful man, I'd say go for it. From my experience, I wouldn't consider many guys "date-worthy" until he's into his 20s anyway just based on maturity levels. When I was 16 I would never date a 16 year old guy, just because most (not all) 16 year old guys are still incredibly immature.

Also like others have said, if he's into his 20s, he could possibly be looking for something serious. So if you aren't at all interested in something that could potentially lead to marriage/settling down it may not be wise.

[HannahGrace]

I personally am all for dating older. I don't date more than 7 years or so older because sometimes i don't think i would be good for them because they have lived a lot longer than i have. I think if you both are mature enough to be in the relationship than go for it. I have known people who were 16 and dated late 20's. It's more about personality and maturity than age.