So many good quotes here! Even though it wasn't my favorite episode ever The Impossible Astronaut had some great quotes:
Doctor: Fellas, the guns? Really? I just walked into the highest security office in the United States, parked a big blue box on the rug. You think you can just shoot me?
River: They're Americans!
Doctor: I'm your new undercover agent. On loan from Scotland Yard. Code named The Doctor. These are my top operatives: The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson.
River: I hate you.
Doctor: No you don't
Doctor: I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilize, street-level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve jammie dodgers and a fez.
(Later) Nixon: Your 5 minutes are up
Doctor: Yeah, and where's my fez?
And I particularly love the whole Cassandra in the Doctor's body bit, especially: Ooh, he's slim... and a little bit foxy. You thought so too; I've been inside your head. You've been looking. You *like* it.
My brother watched that bit over and over again until we were crying from laughing
And I could go on forever but I better stop myself here
and five, very important- five don't let me eat pears, i hate pears. John smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I am him and do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months, I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.
"sexy fish vampires"
"rory wasn't even there in the beginning. then he was dead, then he didn't exist. Then he was plastic and i had to reboot the universe."
Doctor: swear on something important, something that matters.
Amy: fish fingers and custard
i was on my way to a gay gypsy bat mitzvah for the disabled when i thought, lets kill the fuhrer. whos with me?
sorry, left leg power nap. forgot i had one scheduled. id better sit down, i think i heard the right one yawning
Dalek: the Doctor will open the ark!
Doctor: O the Doctor will most certainly not
Dalek: But you have no means of defence!
Doctor: Your right there but although I do have this *pulls out sonic screwdriver*
Dalek: A sonic prob?
Doctor: THAT'S SCREWDRIVER!
"Stand on this stage, say the right words with the right emphasis at the right time, oh, you can make men weep. Or cry with joy. Change them. You can change people's minds just with words in this place."
I know it's not very funny, but it's still my favorite quote of the Doctor. Although I've also been known to randomly say "You're so thick! You're Mr. Thick Thick Thickity Thick-face from Thicktown, Thickania. And so's your dad."
Mickey: Huh! So that Doctor eh!
Rose: What are you talking about?
Mickey: Well! Madame De Pompadour, Sarah Jane Smith, Cleopatra!
Rose: Oh, Cleopatra he mentioned her once.
Mickey: Yeah, but he called her Cleo.