Explain this!

[Wandering Confused]

What is going on here?

[Pumpkin Matt]

Is the sewing machine just a really crappy wedding present?

[Wandering Confused]

Perhaps or maybe he had to fix his suit after the terrible accident!

[Q]

He was going to a Robert Pattinson look-a-like contest (Or a wedding). The UPS guy sees him leaving, and crashes his truck in an effort to deliver the sewing machine. The RPatts look-a-like grabs his camera, and, proclaiming "Damn, will this confuse people on the internet, or what?", takes this photo.

[Stephanie O]

It's quite simple to explain, really. You see, the guy in the tux was going to be the best man in his friends wedding. His friend (the one getting married) told him that the bride wanted that sewing machine more than anything, and asked him to get it as the wedding gift so they would have no doubt that it was coming.

However, the UPS delivery man that was supposed to bring it to him went a little crazy. He was tired of working under the tyranny of the UPS company, and he decided to get his independence. To do so, he simply drove around, taking random turns, not having any idea where he was going, to prove that he did not need to make deliveries if he did not want to. After he had been missing for two weeks,UPS contacted the best man and told him what had happened. Unfortunately, they were not going to be nice and send him a new one for free, even though that is what he deserved.

Depressed, he decided to go simply with a card, because he did not have the time nor the money to get another one of the sewing machines-what you can't tell from the picture is that it's a magical sewing machine and it can transform into any transportation device whenever you want, and you never need to buy fuel. You don't even need a driver's or pilot's license or anything of the like, because you simply say where you want to go and it takes you there. If you want there is the option of manual control. Needless to say, it is quite expensive and difficult to find.

Then, the morning of the wedding, he received another call from UPS. They told him that the UPS delivery man had apparently stopped for a drink in a bar and had a little too much. He was taking the truck for a drive on a sidewalk in a nice little park. When he wanted to get back on the road, he figured the easiest way was to just take a shortcut through all the trees. He wanted to get some momentum, thinking he could just push them right over, so he decided to back up to get at a good angle. Unfortunately for him, he did not think about the fact that after going backwards down a hill, it would be hard to get moving again. Still not thinking clearly, he went to a nearby house which happened to be owned by the police chief, who recognized him from the wanted signs that had been going around the region.

Despite the fact that it supposedly took 4 hours to drive to the town, he set off on foot immediately (because he lived in the city and typically used public transportation, so he did not have a car). He was able to get there in 1 1/2 hours because he is awesome like that. Because he still had four hours before the wedding, someone asked him to stick around so they could call someone from the Guinness Book of World Records to come out so he could be put in as the fastest runner. That is what this picture was taken for.

Afterwords, he ran back to the wedding location with an hour to spare before it started. Along with some others he decorated the sewing machine in it's limo form, then they watched the ceremony, and the bride and groom lived happily ever after. The best man went on to win more gold medals than Michael Phelps, except in running instead of swimming.He was asked to be a spokesman for 90% of the products in the world, and as a result he became not only the fastest runner but also the richest man in the world. He retired at the age of 33, and now lives in a secluded mountain mansion, where he spends all his time watching Nerdfighter related YouTube videos, because as awesome as he already is, he knows the only way to become more awesome is to follow their lead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry it's long...hopefully it's at least somewhat enjoyable!

[Matt]

Well, it's obviously a picture from a romantic comedy. The girl of this guy's dreams is getting married.

Mister Tux had dated the girl previously, but he didn't want her to have a sewing machine and told her that he wouldn't allow it (his only flaw). She left him and found another man. This other man isn't as kind, loving, or anything but he wants her to have a sewing machine. Mister Tux found out that she was getting married and then had to figure out how to get her back and it all came back to the sewing machine. What he had never explained to her was that his mother died in a freak sewing machine accident and that by not wanting her to have a sewing machine he was actually trying to stop another sewing machine accident taking the person he loved the most. However, he knew that she wanted a sewing machine and that she should be able to have a sewing machine if she so desired. So he ordered a sewing machine as a wedding present, but UPS ran late. They called him to tell him that it would be coming the day of the wedding. He explained the situation so they told him the driver's route and they told the driver. When Mister Tux was running to find this driver the driver saw him and yelled out "Mister TUX!" They saw each other and the UPS guy backed up his truck onto the sidewalk so that Mister Tux could get his wedding present. After Mister Tux had opened the box and grabbed the sewing machine the UPS driver got back into his truck and said "You go get her, Mister Tux! You go get her!" and then forgot to take the truck out of reverse and hit the accelerator. Luckily the police were just around the corner and were able to help the UPS driver out of the truck alongside Mister Tux.

This is where the picture above is from. What happens after...

Mister Tux runs down the street with all of his neighbors yelling "Go get her! She's the woman of your dreams. Good Luck! You'll be happy forever! Hurry, the wedding has already begun!" He runs through the streets and finds the chapel. Runs through the door, and the ushers try to get in his way but he bursts through them into the sanctuary right when the preacher says "Does anyone have any reason as to why these two people should not be married?" He yells "I do."

He holds up the sewing machine and gives her the speech about his mother and how he just didn't want any harm to come her way. He tells her that he loves her more than anything in the world and that he's sorry that he didn't see it her way earlier. He tells her that he'll take out the garbage and the recyclables. He'll cook and watch over the kids while working enough so that she'll never have to lift a finger. He'll bring her home dove chocolate anytime she wants. He'll work out everyday so that he keeps his figure and that he'll always get her to the big O. Then she starts crying and they run into each others arms.

Yep. That's how it goes.