So I was thinking about this today, because it came up in Paper Towns and in Perks of Being a Wallflower.
The question I want to pose to the Nerdfighters is this: What does it mean to feel infinite? Is it possible to feel infinite as an adult? I'd really like to know what other nerdfighters think of this because I feel like the older I get the more finite I feel, and I wonder if it's still possible to feel infinite.
I don't have my copy of Perks, but the quote from Paper Towns is:
"Radar revs the engine as if to say hustle, and we are running through the parking lot, Ben's robe flowing in the wind so that he looks vaguely like a dark wizard, except his skinny legs are visibly, and his arms hug plastic bags. I can see the back of Lacey's legs beneath her dress, her calves tight in midstride. I don't know how I look, but I know how I feel: Young. Goofy, Infinite." (254)
I agree with you... the more you grow, the less infinite you feel. I guess you never really are infinite... You are always ruled by your duties and your responsibilities, but as a child you don't feel like you have such limits. Ignorance is bliss...
I think its when you feel like a moment or feeling will go on for forever (thus the infinite nature)
Its such a let down after feeling infinite, hah
But I think its also the feeling when you get when you learn or experience something that you won't ever forget, or that will apply to your life forever. I think its fleeting, but I've felt infinite. Its rare, but I love it.
I imagine it as that feeling when you're truly happy in the moment. Not like everything in the world is perfect happy, but in this moment I'm not worrying about anything that later I will have to and I'm having fun and this feels good happy. It's returning to a mentality of nothing matters except right now, not the past or future, just now. It can come from anything, from something as great as love (of any kind) or something as simple as dance party in the car with friends while driving from (or to) something that was fun.
I think I felt the most infinate when I was in my last years of highschool. And it was always over really small, silly things. Like, dancing at one in the morning with my friends in this tiny, cramped cafe downtown to The Cure. Or collasping on the parking lot, last day of school with my grad class after grad campout and we're all so filthy and tired and look completely homeless. Or walking four hours along railroad tracks at night to get home, instead taking a bus, because we wanted to spend more time together.
I think the moments that make you feel infinate are the ones where you KNOW you'll look back and have that moment define a time in your life, when you're so full of possibilities that you don't even care. You're so totally aware that you've got ages to do what you want, that you can just fully appreciate the moment.
What is most interesting about the infinite feeling is how fleeting it is. As soon as you become aware of it, it starts to slip away. The very possibility of never-ending is sobering. But I mostly agree. There seem to be fewer instances of infinity as I grow up. Regret weighs heavy on your heart, and you are more often reminded of your mortality.
Want to recapture that feeling? I recommend a few close friends and some pot.
Its that feeling you get when you feel like you're at the right place at the right time. Like you've made all of the right decisions and the possibilities are endless. I get it when I'm outside in the fall riding my bike by myself around this lake near where i live. I always feel as if I could just stay on my bike forever and I'd never feel sad ever again. You never get the feeling when you've actually achieved something though, because through achieving something you've tide yourself down, and taken away the freedom. That's why as we get older we feel infinite less and less, because everything we do is done for a reason, in hope of achieving something. We don't just live in the moment.
Hmmm. I'm turning eighteen tomorrow, so I've been thinking a lot about the whole youthful thing ... it just feels a bit like a lot of stuff I know ends tomorrow. I'm legal to gamble and get married and rent porn and buy alcohol and cigarettes and become a stripper or prostitute and vote and get a credit card and get into pubs/clubs/other R18 venues and get a tattoo ... I mean, a lot of that stuff I won't actually do, just because I now can, but it just feels like the end of era I got very comfortable in.
I definitely still feel infinite at times though. Like the other night, when me and my friends climbed to the top of the trippy tree and sat up there looking out at the whole city and looking up at the stars and they smoked vanilla cigars and then it rained. I guess that's why I'm scared of this whole getting older thing. I'm scared of losing all that - doing random shit like climbing trees because ... why not? Driving to nowhere. Jumping out of cars and dancing at intersections. Swimming in the ocean at midnight. I don't want it to end. :/.
I think that as long as we remember the feeling of feeling infinite, there is a possibility of it happening. It is the point at which we forget about the carelessness of youth, the point at which we tie ourselves wholly into our choices and our one direction, that the feeling of feeling infinite disappears. All possibilities exist as long as your mind and spirit are open to them.