Nerdfighters

I am a 16 year old gay male, and I think gay parades are wrong.

Not for all the normal reasons, "I dont need to see half naked men on my street" and stuff like that.

But because I don't think this is a good way for us gays to show how normal and homosexuality is, this is only further steriotyping us. You don't see a black pride parade where they eat fried chicken and watermelon? No.

My story:

When I was 11, I realized I had never had a feeling for any girl, I had nothing to do with them, even though they were all over me. I litterly, not once in my life, have found any girl or woman attractive. I was very confused, I believed in god, but I knew I had never chosen to be gay, I played soccer and football, paintball, later on boxing and kick boxing, my father was always there for me, I was always told to do everything on my own, I was raised in a very "heterosexual" way. After hating myself and getting out of my depression Irealizedd it was not my choice, I knew there were a few more mistakes and selfcontradictingg statements in the Bible, so I accepted myself.
As you can see, I had some hardships with being gay, like a depression that lasted for a number of years. One of the reasons I didn't want to be gay was because I liked my hetertosexual image, I didn't want to be assossiated with the gay community, which made it even harder.

Why do we have to break away from normal life, why can't we become a part of it like the rest of the human rights movements?

 

So what it comes down it is, gay pride parades are a bad way to show people how normal gays are.

Tags: Gay, Homosexual, human, rights

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Well, I kind of agree with you, and I kind of don’t.

I agree with you: I think the “shock” method is definitely the wrong way to go. People do oppose gay rights because they’re scared of stereotypes. They think of the SEX part of sexual preference and don’t realize that gay people actually fall in love. So the people who deliberately flaunt the SEX part of their identity to deliberately make others feel uncomfortable… Well, it’s satisfying for a repressed and angry minority group, but it’s also ultimately unproductive…

I don’t agree with you: As someone else pointed out earlier, gay parades do not consist solely of guys in rainbow thongs. Plenty of “normal” people participate. Also, from your post, it seems like you think of stereotypical masculinity as “normal.” I think… it’s wrong to say that guys have to act “manly.” If a guy happens to like poetry more than sports, or the color pink, it should be okay, whether he is gay or straight. It’s great to say, “Look at me, I’m just like you! It’s quite normal to be gay!” But it’s also important to widen the margins of what society deems “normal.”

tl;dr version: It’s ok to be who you are― be a “feminine” guy or a “masculine” girl without worrying about making gays look “abnormal.” It’s not ok to deliberately make people uncomfortable.
While I agree that it is bad to encourage stereotypes, pride parades are for the people in them, not the rest of the world. A pride parade is about being proud of who you are, and flaunting it. It's you accepting yourself, not the world accepting you.

As for your statement "One of the reasons I didn't want to be gay was because I like my heterosexual image, I didn't want to be assossiated witht the gay community..." I do not know if you still don't want to be assossiated with the gay community or not, but you should keep in mind what an awesome gay from fiveawesomegays said (I don't remember which). He said that if you want to be accepted for being gay, you can't be hating on another certain kind of gay person. You have to be accepting to be accepted. (If anyone knows what video this bit was from, feel free to link. I would, but don't have the time and such.)
It's a very complicated matter. So much so that I'm having a hard time picking a side on that arguement. I'm actually bickering with myself, back and forth. And although I'm sure, as a heterosexual male, my oppinions on the subject amount to nothing to the gay community, I'm going to try my best to get my view out there.

I was in Columbus OH several years ago for a convention, and upon my arrival I discovered that much to my suprise I had arrived just in time to witness my first (and so far only) Gay Pride Parade. And I will admit that I could have done without the half naked Uber flamers waving there junk around in the middle of a crowded city street. But I understood it. I'm not gay, but I am what some may call a "freak". I'm covered in tattooes and have been pierced several times, and have an understanding of how inRAGING it can be to have the "normal" people look down at you as if you are somehow automatically a lesser person for being something other than "normal". Which, let's face it, NORMAL DOES NOT EXIST. Normal people are the true Freaks. They are every bit as strange as the rest of us, they just never grew the balls to accept it and let the world know who they really are. But back to my point. After one of these "Normies" treat me as a second class citizen, I feel like "waving it" in their faces too. If gay people were given True equal rights and treated as human beings they probably wouldn't feel the need to be like that in public.

On the opposing side of the arguement, I will agree that it doesn't help the gay comunity gain acceptance of the "Normal" people. But at the same time, I don't believe you should have to gain their acceptance. Who wants to be accepted by people who create and believe stereotypes of an entire population of people based on the actions of a very small percentage of that population.

I've obviously sided with the "Uber Flamers", or so it would seem based on the fact I said much more in their defense than against them.

And I could probably go on for days about all of it, but I won't bother you with any more of my crazy ramblings.
Well, out of experiance, people are surpised to hear that I am gay. I look very heterosexual,have a deep husky voice, normal clothes, I am a kick boxer and a rugby player, people do not conciter me gay after I tell them, I act so hetero that they treat me like I am. But once there is a true flaming homosexual around they start to comment on it, needless to say I am always against this. Basicly once you show any characteristic of being gay, you are a seperate group. Just like whites and blacks used to be in groups. I have managed to be in both, its probably just luck. As long as there are 2 groups, there will be discrimination. I have relized that the problem is not our sexuality but the way we behave.
So lets act normal.
The problem isn't the way you behave, it's pejudice and pepole being put in folders. Since you're gay pepole expect you to care about how you look (more than other men), like fashion, furnishing, you're expected to be able to talk about your feelings and so on. They think that being Gay says things about you besides that you like men instead of women. Instead of evaluating you based general criterias they evaluate you based on you being gay. If you like something it's because you're you and not because you're gay, and your homosexuality has nothing to do with it.

Acting normal is the easy way out. It also treating the symptoms and not the problem, and therefore isn't a real solution.
Sounds like youre saying I'm acting this way, I'm not, so its not the easy way out.
You said the "symptoms" being gay doesn't come with any symptoms. You just happen not to like women.
Being gay shouldnt mean anything other than that you like other men.
From reading that sounds like you believe the steriotypes and think that gays should ablige to them.
They shouldn't ablige to any of them just to fit in.
I'm guessing what you said just came out wrong.
"You said the "symptoms" being gay doesn't come with any symptoms."

Gay wasn't the sympton. The symptom was you getting comments on your homosexuality as soon as you came out. You believe this is because of the way you act. But getting flack for the way you act is just a symptom, the problem is in pepole's heads. And you don't fix the actual problem by giving up and trying to be like everyone else.

"From reading that sounds like you believe the steriotypes and think that gays should ablige to them."

From reading what? I believe it's kind of obvious I meant the opposite but I wrote it so I might be wrong.

"They shouldn't ablige to any of them just to fit in."

No one should oblige to anything just to fit in. Pepole should be open minded enough that they can accept your quirks and still see you as "normal" (as opposed to abnormal and strange).
"Gay says things about you besides that you like men instead of women."
That quote is whats pissing me off.
They think that being Gay says things about you besides that you like men instead of women.

They're wrong, though.
People, you have to stop saying there is no such thing as normal. There is a group in the middle of the vendiagram of all groups of people that you could call normal.
Now let's stop discussing what normal is.
Personally, I love Gay Pride. I live in Birghton so our Parade is the biggest in England, if not the world. I get where your coming from, gays will never be the same a heterosexuals in the eyes of anyone, and gay pride isn't helping that. But if you ask me, that's what it's about; "being gay is different, yes, but it's something to be proud of". I know some people won't get that, and will make fun of gays because they're different, but gay pride is showing them that the difference is not a bad thing. The idea is of this is not only gay rights, and fight homophobic behavior, it's also an example that being different is not something to be ashamed of, whether it be being gay, having braces, or just being yourself.
I disagree with you. I think that not having them for that reason promotes the idea that people shouldn't be flamboyant and excited and crazy because it might negatively affect the demographic they represent. People are just people. Gay people aren't any more normal than straight people. Pride parades are a way to express yourself for who you are, am I right? And quelling that so that the "crazies" won't make people thing that gays are strange is just illogical. If people think gays are "normal" and should be accepted seamlessly into "normal" society, they're going to think that regardless of what a few individuals do at a parade. If people think that gays are "abnormal", the lack of pride parades isn't going to make them change their minds.

Just my take on it. I've never actually been to a gay pride parade; I was out of town last year when the festival happened here, but I'll certainly go next year if I get the opportunity.

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