A friend of mine lost her father while he was deployed on Thursday...She was extremely close to him and, as if the situation could not get more unfortunate, he was supposed to be back home this week. This has been weighing on my mind for several reasons, but I need help with, more than anything, writing something to her.
I know not to say "I know how you feel" and to tell her I am there for her, I am not having any trouble understanding what is tactful, but even though I did not know him, his death seems to have pressed very heavy things into my mind and thoughts. I really want to express how much I am thinking of her and how I have pondering ways and thoughts and ideas of ways that I can help her, and I just can't think of a way to word any of this. My friend is a wonderful person and was telling me how very close she is to him just about three months ago.
I am also wondering what I can do to make her life easier while she recovers from this loss. The only thing I can imagine that would make it easier for her is attending her classes and taking notes for her until she is ready to go to school, so that she doesn't have to worry about catching up as much when she is ready to come back to school (our school begins on Friday and I don't imagine anyone would be ready to go back to school two weeks after their father dies). I have no problem at all with doing this and am eager to, but I don't know how to bring it up to her. Would calling her be a good idea? Should I ask her after the funeral (I am attending it)? Neither of those seem appropriate to do...Are there any suggestions or ideas for things that I could do to help her and how to propose my help for her?
I'm sorry if this doesn't belong here; I figured that helping my friend would be decreasing world suck and I do want advice on this. But, yeah...I don't know what to do. She is devastated and I have never lost a close family member. He will never see his daughter graduate high school, she will never have her father walk her down the isle, he will never be able to hold his grandchildren...It's not fair and I don't know what to say to comfort her or make it easier for her. I don't think there is anything I can do, but I am so upset for her...I mean, he was supposed to come home THIS WEEK. So soon. He was supposed to see his daughters again in just a day or so. My heart just breaks for my friend and I want to help her in some way.