Why did Professor Snape stand in the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on.
A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are you absolutely certain you want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"
The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"
Whats snapes boggart? A cauldron full of Shampoo!
What does a death eater eat for breakfast? Cruci-O’s!
What did Harry's godfather say to him when he wouldn't stop poking him?
"Stop that now. I'm Sirius."
Harry: You're white.
Sirius: No, I'm Black.
Harry: Stop joking.
Sirius: I'm Sirius.
How many Harry's does it take to change a light bulb?
1, he just holds it and the world revolves around him.
Your mother is so MUGGLE, she thought the floo network was on channel 14!
The Dark Lord goes to a 3D movie. What a waste.