" How to kill... myself?!"

[EagleSpectre]

A lot of us have, more likely than not, thought about some way to end our lives in one way or another; thus, cutting even shorter our brief time on this mud ball of a planet we call Earth. I know I have, many a time fantasized blowing my brains onto a wall when stuck in the clutches of a boring lecture, or even overdosing on depressants when I feel utterly alone. So, what are some interesting ways you have thought of offing yourself? I know if you’re reading this, you’ve got at least one memory of having that desire. My aim is to start a discussion where no one can judge you for having been depressed. I want to know, be it mundane and crude, or gruesome and gory, how have you imagined ending it all?

[SueRiot]

I went through a stage about a year ago, where I wrote down all the ways I wanted to kill myself. Like, I had actual theories why some things would work over others. Like just overdosing in my busy house wouldn't work, cause I would be found, and I would just end up destroying my insides and needing medical care for the rest of my life.

The way I was going to do it, was to get myself drunk (or overdose, whatever was easiest at the time) and then jump onto the local motorway from a bridge that is near my house. My reasoning is, that the alcohol/drugs would have thinned my blood, which means that if i started severely bleeding, the blood wouldn't really clot easily. Therefore making me hard to save. *shrugs*

It sounds really gruesome, but I know that by writing it down, I felt like I was letting out the frustration, and now I can see, looking back, how much I have come on. And I find it easy to talk about now, but people just think I am crazy, at how much detail I went into.

[Tomo]

Sophomore year of high school I became seriously stressed and depressed. Pretty much I was overwhelmed. I had planned on making it look like a simple robbery gone wrong.

I was planning on going out one night in winter and say that I was going to wait at the park to meet my friends. I chose winter so that I could wear gloves so they wouldn't find finger prints. I was planning on going out to a big open park and go near a lake where I would wrap my phone in all my cash and throw it out into the lake. I would then make it look like my truck had been ransacked by smashing in the windows and throwing things about. Then I planned on hitting my self on the head with the butt of the pistol to cause bruising. I would walk out to the pier where I would position my wallet next to me, hold the gun so that after it was fired it would hopefully fall in the water, and make it look like I had been pinned down and shot.

My thinking was that if it worked, then it would look like a tragic accident. If it didn't work, it would just be another failure in my life.

But I got help from someone who means the world to me and my life is a complete reversal of that moment. College is so much better.

[will cooper]

large explosion no pain and really quick

[Dani Halter]

It has varied. Once, I had the idea to build a Saw-inspired device that would rip my ribcage open. That's probably the weirdest one.
Self-immolation was also considered, as well as walking in front of a car, and stabbing myself in the heart. The stabbing has always left me wondering if the knife would get past my sternum.
Overdosing. What to overdose on has been debated. It generally swings between sleeping pills and some sort of pain-killer.
Wrecking my car with me in it, and jumping off the local bridge have also been considered, as well as letting myself freeze to death in the snow and self-starvation. I think that's it.

[Sarah]

When I was in sixth grade I thought quite often about killing myself. I was bullied alot and I literally had no friends and I didn't feel like my family liked me at all. I actually almost did kill myself. My grandfather has a gunsafe in his attic. I found the key and got a gun but something fell over ans scared me so i jumped and the gun shot witch my grandma heard and so she stopped me.
I remeber thinking that if I killed myself the bullies would be sorry. They would be sorry they were so mean to me and they wouldnt do it to anyone else anymore. Later I went back and thought about it and thought, well sure they'll be sorry or whatever, but it wouldn't matter, because I can't just shot myself on monday and come back to school on friday.

[E_Lewis]

I always thought that if I was going to kill myself, I'd do a ton of dangerous stuff that I've always wanted to do, but would likely get me killed. Like dangerous acrobatics, illegal activities(not very bad ones, just trespassing and stuff.), etc.

Sometimes I'll be in a high place or be holding a knife and think, "Wow. I could kill myself right now." The only thing stopping me is my own mentality. Everything else is in place. Sometimes I think about what it would feel like to be falling through the air, to hit pavement or the feeling I'd get from falling off of a ledge or slicing a knife across my wrists. It's weird because I;ve never actually wanted to kill myself. I mean sure, everyone feels like that at some point, but I've never been even close to suicide. I just think about these things sometimes. It's actually kind of fun sometimes.

[EagleSpectre]

Wow. The same things happen to me sometimes. Glad to know I'm not the only one in that boat.

[Sarah]

It is good to know your not the only one isn't it.

[Sarah]

Am I insane i I've thought about killing myself at times when I am very happy? I guess I figure dying happy would be better than a slow painfull and miserable death.

[E_Lewis]

I think about that too. Sometimes I think, "Wow, I really wish the world would end right now. It'd be really good timing." Sometimes you just feel ready for death.

and when you're happy is when it's easiest to think about this stuff, because it's depressing when you're already sad because then you almost take it seriously.

[Lucy]

My most common ideas of offing myself have involved steering my car into a very solid object, like a wall, while going 70+ miles an hour.
Jumping off a very tall building also appeals to me, but then I think that there isn't always a guarantee that I'll die. I could, theoretically, just paralyze myself.
There is something oddly romantic about drowning. Please see this passage by Nabokov:

People have thought she tried to cross the lake
At Lochan Neck where zesty skaters crossed
From Exe to Wye on days of special frost.
Others supposed she might have lost her way
By turning left from Bridgeroad; and some say
She took her poor young life. I know. You know.

It was a night of thaw, a night of blow,
With great excitement in the air. Black spring
Stood just around the corner, shivering
In the wet starlight and on the wet ground.
The lake lay in the mist, its ice half drowned.
A blurry shape stepped off the reedy bank
Into a crackling, gulping swamp, and sank.

It's funny, I often think about ways to die, but I've never actually been suicidal.

[Eystein,]

I'm going to wait until I'm almost dead anyway. 90+ that is. It's going to be an overdoze on heroin. One last ride before I'm done. And I'm going to invite all my friends (if I have any left) and family to see me off. That way we may say proper good byes =P