I require advice.

*Warning: Teenage gushiness and possible pining follows. Proceed at own risk.*

....So there is this boy. He is very cute, but more importantly he is intimidatingly smart and he is really fun and interesting to talk to. I like him a lot.

Problems:

1. I think he is out of my league. "But wait, MM!" I hear you say. "There are no such things as leagues, and you are just being insecure!" I am skeptical. Because he is cute, smart, charming, and nice to everyone, he is very popular. He has gone out with girls who are better-liked and prettier than I am. I don't think that he would be interested in a spaz like me. This is not me being insecure, this is me attempting to be realistic. I am a wonderful and lovely person, but I am not what you would call "alluring" nor "smooth." I am not particularly skilled in the art of tact.

2. I sit next to him in AP History class, and thus I see him every day. This is fine for now, as I like spending time with him and we do occasionally have some pretty interesting conversations. However, if I were to ask him out and he were to reject me, I would still have to see him every day.

3. He has given me no reason to think that he would be particularly interested in me.

Any advice on what I should do? Should I ask him out, even though I don't think that it will go well? Should I just keep pining and not resolve anything? Should I stop asking somewhat whinny and self-deprecating posts on the internet? Help!

Tags: Advice, Love, crushes, rejection, relationships, teen

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sydney Carter on April 22, 2012 at 8:58am

I completely agree. boys are sneaky. theres a fifty-fifty chance hes in love with you. trust your heart and go for it.

Permalink Reply by Lily Cantor on April 21, 2012 at 7:59pm

Well, just talk to him and as John says "Use your words!" The school year is almost over, so go for it! and if he rejects you let him be for a couple of days, then say hi again, it'll be awkward, but worth it in the long run. Having been the object of affections similar to yours, I can tell you that he might not even know how you feel (cause boys are dense like that). If he is just really not that into you, he's not worth it! You are fabulous, you are stupendous and one day someone will see that in you and take you for what you are! DFBTA and good luck!

Permalink Reply by Robin L on April 21, 2012 at 8:05pm

1. I hate the term "Out of my league." Just because he's dated girls who are more popular than you, does not mean that he would never be interested in you. People's tastes change. Maybe it's about time that boy dated a spaz. And please, please, PLEASE never compare your looks to his ex-girlfriends. It will only make you question/doubt yourself. I don't know who these other girls are, so I can't make an honest comparison, but...I hate to say, "Looks aren't everything," because that phrase is so cliched, but it's true. You're a nerdfighter. You're made of awesome. Believe me, no one is out of your league.

2. To quote myself, things are only awkward if you make them so. Even if he does reject you, as long as you still value each other as friends, there is no reason for things to become awkward in your history class. (Admittedly, preventing things from becoming awkward is a difficult task, but it is achievable.)

3. Have you been given him reason to think you're interested in him? Because based off of my observations and limited experience in the realm of relationships, it is best to become fairly good friends with each other (outside of school) before becoming a couple. Do you spend time with each other outside of history? If not, suggest that you hang out after school or on a weekend. As he gets to know you outside of the classroom, he may begin to reciprocate your feelings (assuming that he doesn't already).

And if you're not already, START FLIRTING, GIRL. Even if it's just something like a subtle compliment or a shy smile, whatever, try and convey the fact that you like him.

Hope this helps. I really don't know much about relationships with boys, but I tried my best.

Permalink Reply by Robin L on April 21, 2012 at 8:17pm

Or, like everyone else is saying, "Use your words." That's very good advice as well.

Words are crucial in relationships.

Permalink Reply by Alice Harris on April 21, 2012 at 8:15pm

I'm in the same sort of situation as you but every time i try and talk to him i turn into a big stuttery awkward mess so "using my words" is kind of a really scary thing to try to do as i usually loose them....

Permalink Reply by Alice Harris on April 21, 2012 at 8:28pm

Ok thank you :) I've helped him on English assignments quite a lot cos we're in a lot of the same extension classes which i guess is kind of a good start

Permalink Reply by Alice Harris on April 21, 2012 at 8:42pm

Ok thank you :)

Permalink Reply by Chaelin Weasley on April 21, 2012 at 9:07pm

I'd just follow what everyone else is saying, sorry I couldn't be of more help, but good luck! :) Don't worry, I'm in the midst of somewhat guy issues now too. Thing is, he's a senior who's leaving in a couple of weeks, so I'm just letting it play out.

Permalink Reply by Makenzie Landeros on April 21, 2012 at 10:01pm

I was in the exact same situation, except he wasn't that bright... But anyways, I never told him how I felt and then at the end of the school year he moved to a different school, and I regretted it for a long time. I think you should definitely attempt to say something. But its hard to do! I mean if anyone else has been in this situation I bet you know!

so I think you should tell him.

Permalink Reply by Atamosi Hagins on April 21, 2012 at 11:23pm

From my standpoint as a guy, you should just tell him. It's best just to admit to him that you like him than to just let it go. Admittedly, we are pretty oblivious, and if you try to imply it, it can just go over his head.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Yoon on April 21, 2012 at 11:56pm

btw if he rejects you, he does not know what a wonderful person he is not giving a chance to :) always smile and be nice, it goes a really long way :D good luck!! and don't forget to use your words :D

Permalink Reply by Sophie on April 22, 2012 at 1:36am

I know it's hard to do, but I give the same advice everyone here gives; ask him out/tell him how you feel and stuff. Because if you don't you'll always regret it(I've got experience there :)). (Well, maybe not always, I mean, you won't be thinking on an age of 30 'Hm, I really regret asking that guy from my history class out...')

Just think about it, if he rejects you, he's miss a wonderful and lovely person. Being pretty and 'better-liked' isn't everything. It's the inside that counts.