You already know what most people will say.

Far right: Yes. It is a difficult choice, but can be overcome. There are bad things to being gay, but some people live with it the way geeks live with ridicule because of their strangeness that they could change.


Far left: No. You can't choose who you fall in love with. You're just born that way. Why would someone choose to be teased, rejected and alienated by society and their loved ones?


Well, to be fair to the right, some people, like geeks or weirdos, don't care about being teased or bullied or rejected because of the things they like. Even straight couples are willing to be teased or rejected because of their choice of a partner, but it's for love, right? Then again, is there really such a thing as true love at all?

Maybe it's just physical. Let's be honest, being gay or straight depends mostly on sex. If you fall in love with someone online then find out their not th gender you like, you probably wouldn't want to be with them the same way you did before.

For all we know, we do choose who we fall in love with. We make decisions about how to interperet our feelings, how to react to a person's actions or thoughts, when judging something they do or believe in, those are all little choices. Bu are they really what make us fall in love with people?


But it's true, if you want to love someone, why make it someone you're family or friends would reject you for? Why pick someone you can't have kids with or marry?(If that's what you want)


In Chrsitianity, the Bible says at least three times that being gay is wrong. But the only reason it would be wrong is if it's a choice, because sin is about disobeying God's will and rejecting the truth of his law and words. You can really only go against God's law by choosing to reject or go against it, like choosing to steal or choosing to ignore Jesus once you've heard the truth, or choosing not to even try to be a better person. So how can something be a sin if you don't choose to do it? (please no religious bashing from any sides in this discussion) Many christians who don't support being gay say that it's a hard thing to overcome but can be done, but how many gay people do they know that have actually stayed celibate or gone straight?


Main questions wiht this issue: Is it a choice? Can you choose who you fall in love with? Why or why not?  If it is a choice, why would you choose to be gay at all?

EDIT: If you have anything directed specifically at me, the one posting this, I'm not going to read it. The discussion is mainly for other people who wanted to discuss it, and I lost track of the comments months ago anyway.

Tags: choice, christianity, debate, gay, opinion

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A) Let me respond to your questions with questions:


How do you know these things about said person? Have you crawled inside their brain and poked around? Probably not.


Also, when you say: "No, what [the bible] says is the physical act is wrong, and that the attraction is a temptation." it raises a question. Why is it wrong? And why does religion have to be brought into the debate so often? And who are we as humans to judge others' behavior when it doesn't cause harm?


B) You don't seem to be gay. So you can't know most of these things without getting answers from the LGTB community. Some people do experiment, yes, but most people who truly consider themselves LGTB know. Deep down, somewhere, everyone knows.

The agreed standard is that the person identifies themselves howsoever they wish and given that neither you, nor I, are inside their heads we do not know

1. Objectively or subjectively what this means to that person

2.  Whether or not, in the case of this individual, it was a choice

However, in the grand scheme of things, sexuality isn't a choice per se.  Or maybe it is, I might just go ask some "heterosexuals"  why they're infesting the world with so many people and allowing this to continue even though our species is being put at risk because of it.  Because if it is a choice, maybe having a higher proportion of gays is more ethical, and part of God's plan to not let us all die because of some dumb rule he forgot to update while transplanting microbes on Uranus.

IMO religion aside if someone chooses to be gay it's w.e. The statement you said about no he wasn't REALLY gay Bc he's straight now is ridiculous. From that statement your saying that if you choose to be gay than it's a choice and you are truly gay, but if you choose to be straight from being gay well than you were never gay. That sir is bias and false. I hope you don't represent the gay communite as being straight or gay is a choice on both ends. I am straight in case you want to know.
No, what he said is that no one chooses their sexuality ever.  If someone said they were gay and then said they were straight, they were always straight and now they realize it.  It is not bias in any way.

Maybe they are, maybe they're not.

Does it matter?

How do you know that person isn't putting on straight now because of homophobia when they were openly gay?

I don't see how you can make that assumption. Can you even speak of any proof that you are in any way knowledgeable about this?


I find it also likely that he's simply stopped expressing homosexual ideas to this particular friend because he might feel that this particular friend is judging him. 

I can't honestly say which it is, but I've seen the situation I just mentioned play out where my gay friends even went so far as to pretend to be interested in women when they were in the company of their more homophobic friends. 

Equally, groups of people have remained celibate for many reasons throughout history, so it's clearly possible.

Not only is it possible, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. I've heard of pepole who's managed to smoke into their 80's, so I guess smoking is about as healthy as not smoking.
If you can demonstrate how celibacy is somehow unhealthy, then perhaps your argument will indeed make sense.
To quote the first part of that text I linked to:

Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female.

If you want to know why that article claims that you ought to read the acricle in question.

I'll re quote myself and you'll see why I said what I said.


If you can demonstrate how celibacy is somehow unhealthy, then perhaps your argument will indeed make sense.


Unhealthy. Not "less healthy than you could be", unhealthy. Yes there may be a loss of some minor health benefits, but there are no specific health drawbacks.


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