Love and marriage!

[Eystein,]

Okey, this doesn't really have anything to do with marriage, but partnership in general, so I want to talk about monogamy, because are we really that,  monogamous?

 

I can't say for myself that I sleep much around, but statistics say that most of us will at least have one little "adventure" during our lives as husbands and wives. And it's not just us guys...

 

I mean, if you have a home and a family, that you love, but there is this other person at work, with which you suddenly have chemistry with... So you sneak out together for a little nooner... Just for fun, nothing else... Then what's really the big deal? (As long as we avoid starting new families and all those complications...)

 

I love the idea of growing old and raise a family together with someone, and be with this person through thick and thin, but I don't understand why sex must be exclusive to that person. I'm not sure I would be able to resist the temptation, or feel that it would matter... But maybe if I find the right one, I will, and then be hypocritical about it. I recognize that most people get very hurt by this, so what I'm wondering: Is this the natural and necessary reaction, or does it rise from an irrational repression of our polymorous nature due to our culturally constructed expectations being broken? Or something like that...

 

I recognize that the fear of being left by the other would be significant, but if the relationship would otherwise be fine, why would that happen? Nowadays people get caught, and they brake up. Still people sleep around... Why not just accept it? I might be a little bit inspired by Mad Men, and I think Don and Betty would have had a much happier relationship, if people could have their flings and still be friends.

 

Well, enough of this perversion =P What do you think?

 

 

 

[Dodo CaucusRace]

So you sneak out together for a little nooner... Just for fun, nothing else... Then what's really the big deal? (As long as we avoid starting new families and all those complications...)

There are several reasons this is frowned upon

If you agreed to a monogamous relationship to begin with, then you have a contractual obligation to stay in a monogamous relationship. Going against the contract is a violation of trust, which is detrimental to the relationship. If you and your partner agree to not be monogamous, then no violation has occurred and it is fine. However, there are reasons to enter into an agree for monogamy.
a. guarantee of partnership
b. disease free or at least disease aware partnership
c. guarantees no starting of new families "and all those complications"

violating the contract means taking all these things away from your partner.

That's why it is a big deal.

[Lourdes]

I know i woldnt like to marry you.. but its actually really interesting

[Eystein,]

Thank you =P And you don't have to marry me. That's what so wonderful. We're free to choose :)

[Lourdes]

Oh my god!!
I wrote that message! how cool is it that the guy really listened to me!

so.. going to start a disscution about john green's looking for alaska movie! HOPE THEY BRING IT TO MEXICO!

[Bryan Rosander, FL]

Wrong discussion?

[Lisa Christine]

If you don't want to be monogamous, don't get married. Unless you and your partner both agree to have sexual partners other than yourselves.