Prologue to Story Called Inx... Advice wanted!
I have been trying to write a book/story called INX. A dark story but will in the end have an
enlightening ending... I would like the opinion of the nerdfighters on
the prologue which mostly explains what the INX's are and the such. just
to get it going.. comments and suggestions are wanted and respected..
thanks..
Update: go to the website! i know it doesn't have its own site perse but its a start..
http://inxworldeaters.webs.com/
Also note that the prologue is not finished! it is still being worked on.
The prologue as of now is only a page long and wish to make it longer!
Thanks to those who have commented so far!
Update 2: If i have any grammar mistakes please notify me either here or on the website
above. and please be specific. also you have any questions in general
about the INX world. Thanks!
Update 3: can anyone come up with an anagram for INX?
Update 4: As I continue to write this story i must tell ppl that it may not be suitable for certain ages sense it is a
dark story.. and may have certain themes that may not be suitable for
certain audiences..
Story begins here:
In the outskirts of tomorrow, lies a time where people wonder in footsteps of there
mistakes. People are just shells forgetting that they have souls. I as a
child new this. I saw it all around me. The world I lived in was too
small. It created its own hell. Its own sorrows and punishments were
made by the simplest and youngest of hands. A darkness was coming. It
crept in peoples silhouettes. It would devour the sanity of people to
the breaking point. Many have died, few have lived. Those that lived
hardly had anything left in them. They were the shells if not the shards
of the shells that were once there.
Very little people had morals and values to keep them going. Luckily, I wasn't one of them. I
kept the hardship that turned into lessons and trials and turned them
into values and discipline. I was a very rare breed of human. At such a
young age I was able to turn everything that people suffered with and
turned them into beams of light. I had hoped that this miraculous gift
would then become a switch to turn my city and eventually the world
around from a turned down dump to an busy bright town.
That is probably why they want me, the Inx's. They had always targeted the
bright hearted. They always went after the one thing that could keep the
world turning. The brighter the heart, the more likely you were going
to be, possibly, devoured by a little black abomination to this world. I
had no clue at the age of ten that these things would go after not only
people but there hearts. They would eat you slowly. You would never be
aware of them even waiting in your dreams to devour you and what you
loved most. They would be your decision makers. You were influenced and
there was no stopping it.
I myself was eaten by one of these things and some how or another I was able break down the concrete wall
that was created in my heart. I had cherished too much to let it break
me down inside. The Inx's had a new threat. I had fought them off for
many years. I am merely an adult now by number, but still young in
experience. Ten years has passed since those days and they still haven't
changed a bit. People still feel the pain of there mistakes. They feel
the stinging cold of the sins that they commit.
I am a World Protector, for lack of better term. The Inx's have spread to more than
just my home and its residents. Many people of other worlds are feeling
the same pain. They lack the ability to fight back against the beings
that are killing everything. There are only very few worlds left in the
universe and what ever happens we can not let them grasp the pain into
there hands and let them put it into our souls. The Inx's are doing more
than just eating at people and killing them slowly. They are eating our
hearts. They are eating our souls. With enough of both, they can eat
the whole world destroying everything in there path. With only a few
worlds left, we have very little time to try and find the source of
there power. If we do not work fast enough, we will all be destroyed.
Nothing will be left in its wake.
The Inx's aren't just beings that eat souls or hearts, no. They eat worlds. They start at the
source of all worlds, the hearts of those who live in it. With little
hearts, the worlds defenses drop dramatically. The world gets devoured.
The Inx's eat the heart of the world which then all thats left is to eat
the physical world itself. Everything is gone. They finish it off and
go on to the next world that could get devoured in a few chomps. Where
do the hearts go, no one really knows. Whether they go to the pit of
there God ridden stomachs or to what some people believe is heaven is
still irrelevant. People are dieing.
The Inx have been known to be called many things. The most common name is Devil Spawn. As the name
suggests, they spawn from the devil himself. However, they are called
many things. Many give them simple names such as ghosts and
poltergeists. Us 'proffesionals' perfer the name Inx. Small, simple and
to the point. However, unlike ghosts and poltergeists, you are able to
see them in the flesh. As small as they are, they are very tricky to
spot but once you see one you would wish you never laid eyes on them.
They vary in body but all have the same concept. All of them have a
black substance that drips from there body. Many can see the remains of
the black substance. This substance is where they get there name from.
The substance looks like black ink, thus the name Inx. As well as the
'ink' dripping from there body, they also have yellow eyes that although
very from each other, have the same effect. The eyes show no mercy and
show the beasty nature of that Inx. Once you look into the eyes of an
Inx, there is no 'looking back'.
That is of course if they do show themselves in the flesh. Most of the time they travel through
other shadows. They lurk, wait, and plan there attack on a person that
wishes to walk by unknowing of their pressence. They 'slip' into a
person's shadow and infect their mind. As stated before, it varies in
the time it takes to penetrate into their souls. Many have found ways to
supress the Inx's influences, but that is it. A human alone can not
destroy the darkness that has now possessed them. Unfortunately, the
supressing of an Inx only makes it more agitated. This causes the Inx to
go to different lengths to make the persons heart there lunch.
Exorcisms have at first thought to be the cure of the Inx's possession.
However, it would only cause the person to suffer and die much faster.
Thus prayer has been rendered useless.
***************************************************************
I first discovered these beings at the age of ten when I accidentally
opened my first ever portal. We travel to different worlds through these
very bright portals that not only could send us to different worlds but
send us to different parts of the same world. However, that is not what
I opened those ten or so years ago. I had opened a black portal. It
would drip a black ink like substance and I was pulled in unwillingly by
a force unknown to me. I landed in a very dark and hell like place. The
clouds above me swirled from above. My legs had sunk into the ground
and hardened so my feet could not escape. The one Inx that walked up to
me was like a dog. Very sharp teeth and dripping the same black ink like
substance. I was terrified. I did not understand where I was and why
the being was licking my neck. It stood on its hind legs and the tongue
rapped around my neck, choking me. His front paws had very sharp claws.
He did not attack me with them. He simply watched me choke to death. I
started to feel week and I thought I was going to die. I knew I was
going to die.
I fell to my knees. The Inx hovered over me still choking me with its long tongue. I tried to use my arms and hands
and pull the tounge loose. But the saliva was cold as ice. I could see
its breathe, its yellow and sulfuric smelling breath. The breath was hot
unlike its tongue. Unusual when you really think about it. I started to
see nothing but black. I couldn't see my own hands. I started to slump
onto the ground. I was passing out. I was dieing.
I felt a release from my neck but for some reason couldn't take a breathe at
first. It was like I was in a paused state. I felt defeated. I felt the
feeling of death. I was going to die at the bright ole age of ten. I
suddenly felt light. Like the hell like state had lifted. I wondered
where the beast had gone. I still had not taken a breathe. I opened my
eyes to see all white around me.
What was I saved by?
I looked around to see that nothing was near me. Infact, I was
floating. I noticed I didn't need air. I was not pulling in air. I
didn't need to.
Was I dead?
No matter which direction I looked I saw white. I felt my neck and it felt like a normal
neck. Like as if nothing had been wrapped around it.
Was I in Heaven?
I felt a tear and held it back. I was not going to cry. I felt heat behind me and I quickly, some how, turned around. A
gold and silver sword shined brightly in front of me. I could hear a
voice. It came from all around me.
All will be revieled to you in time. Take my sword, and do not fear them again.
I did not know what exactly I was to do. So with out really thinking I
reached out to the sword and grabbed its handle. I assumed that it
glowed, sense it was like I and the sword faded to white. I found my
self where I was previously. I stood next to the cypress tree where the
portal opened. I did not have the sword in my hand. I was confused and
ran home. I explained to my mother what had happened. At first I thought
that she would not believe my crazy story and thought she would send me
to church in hoping to relieve any mental stress I might have had.
However, to my surprise, she looked content. Worried but content.
"You finally have done it." My mother explained. "You finally learned
who you are."
After a long chat with my mother, she took me to a place of wonder. Where all was revealed to me. My origin. My true
home and worth. The place where I found out more the Inx's but other
worlds. My mind was blown. I never had to go back to school. I was sent
to live in this beautiful castle made of chrystal. A court house of
sorts. A place of wonder and dreams. Lies could not be told. Inx's can
not infect.
We transported there by light portal. Much brighter and lovelier than the one I went into. We were on a small
planet with stars everywhere in the black sky. The Court House stood in
its shining glory. It was quite big. I looked at my mother as she stared
at it then me. She smiled big.
"Are you ready?" She asked me.
"For what exactly?" I replied, still trying to take it all in. I was about to wet myself.
"For your destiney." She said looking into my scared, excited and worried eyes. My eyes widened.
Destiney? What in the name of God is going on? It was too much to take
in at once. I suddenly felt dizzy and fell to the ground and passed out
right there at the door way of the court house.
I awoke to find a young nurse looking at me. I felt scared and worried. My heart
was racing and in an instant I arose and found my self in what was the
hospital. But it wasn't the hospital on earth. It was the hospital in
the Chrystal Court. I was confused. It was too much for a ten year old.
Yet when I looked around if felt, comforting. It was like I had been
there before. The nurse looked at me and smiled.
"Wakey Wakey." She said. "Feeling ok?"
All I could do was nod.
"Good. Your mother will be in shortly." She walked out of the room. I
looked down at my self and reevaluated what all had happened. I had just
discovered the Inx's and what they could do. What pain it caused me.
The emotional confusion I was in. I didn't know whether to be relieved
or to be mad. I breathed in deeply trying to relieve the pressure I had
inside. At that moment I just realized I had finally taken a breath
sense I been choked. I didn't need to breathe.
My mother walked in to see me in a bit of shock. She sat on the edge of the bed
and explained everything she could. With in time I would understand
everything. Until then, however, I was left with basics. I had matured
that day. That days events turned me into what I am today. The ten year
old that took lessons and trials and turned them into values and
disiplines. I turned everything that people suffered and turned them
into beams of light. I wanted to take this gift I had recieved to change
my home town and the world. However, it was going to take more than
this view on life to eliminate the Inx's that would soon infect the
world. I had to grow up. I had to train for the worse. I had to fight
for the light. I had to be the hero. I had to be the legend.
I looked at my mother and asked one question. I had taken in all I
could. She explained the Inx's. She told me of the portals and worlds I
could travel to. She explained me the sword that was now in my
possession. All I had to do was command it with my heart and it would
appear in my very hands. She explained to me the building itself. But
one thing was still lingering.
"Mother," I asked,"Why does this place seem familiar to me?"
My mother grinned again. She almost cried but wiped her eyes. She was relieved of the realization
that I had recognized this place.
"I have just one thing to say to you..." She leaned in closer to my face so I was guaranteed to
hear the words come out of her mouth. Her eyes got watery and bright at
the same time. She smiled.
"Welcome home, Alex."
enlightening ending... I would like the opinion of the nerdfighters on
the prologue which mostly explains what the INX's are and the such. just
to get it going.. comments and suggestions are wanted and respected..
thanks..
Update: go to the website! i know it doesn't have its own site perse but its a start..
http://inxworldeaters.webs.com/
Also note that the prologue is not finished! it is still being worked on.
The prologue as of now is only a page long and wish to make it longer!
Thanks to those who have commented so far!
Update 2: If i have any grammar mistakes please notify me either here or on the website
above. and please be specific. also you have any questions in general
about the INX world. Thanks!
Update 3: can anyone come up with an anagram for INX?
Update 4: As I continue to write this story i must tell ppl that it may not be suitable for certain ages sense it is a
dark story.. and may have certain themes that may not be suitable for
certain audiences..
Story begins here:
In the outskirts of tomorrow, lies a time where people wonder in footsteps of there
mistakes. People are just shells forgetting that they have souls. I as a
child new this. I saw it all around me. The world I lived in was too
small. It created its own hell. Its own sorrows and punishments were
made by the simplest and youngest of hands. A darkness was coming. It
crept in peoples silhouettes. It would devour the sanity of people to
the breaking point. Many have died, few have lived. Those that lived
hardly had anything left in them. They were the shells if not the shards
of the shells that were once there.
Very little people had morals and values to keep them going. Luckily, I wasn't one of them. I
kept the hardship that turned into lessons and trials and turned them
into values and discipline. I was a very rare breed of human. At such a
young age I was able to turn everything that people suffered with and
turned them into beams of light. I had hoped that this miraculous gift
would then become a switch to turn my city and eventually the world
around from a turned down dump to an busy bright town.
That is probably why they want me, the Inx's. They had always targeted the
bright hearted. They always went after the one thing that could keep the
world turning. The brighter the heart, the more likely you were going
to be, possibly, devoured by a little black abomination to this world. I
had no clue at the age of ten that these things would go after not only
people but there hearts. They would eat you slowly. You would never be
aware of them even waiting in your dreams to devour you and what you
loved most. They would be your decision makers. You were influenced and
there was no stopping it.
I myself was eaten by one of these things and some how or another I was able break down the concrete wall
that was created in my heart. I had cherished too much to let it break
me down inside. The Inx's had a new threat. I had fought them off for
many years. I am merely an adult now by number, but still young in
experience. Ten years has passed since those days and they still haven't
changed a bit. People still feel the pain of there mistakes. They feel
the stinging cold of the sins that they commit.
I am a World Protector, for lack of better term. The Inx's have spread to more than
just my home and its residents. Many people of other worlds are feeling
the same pain. They lack the ability to fight back against the beings
that are killing everything. There are only very few worlds left in the
universe and what ever happens we can not let them grasp the pain into
there hands and let them put it into our souls. The Inx's are doing more
than just eating at people and killing them slowly. They are eating our
hearts. They are eating our souls. With enough of both, they can eat
the whole world destroying everything in there path. With only a few
worlds left, we have very little time to try and find the source of
there power. If we do not work fast enough, we will all be destroyed.
Nothing will be left in its wake.
The Inx's aren't just beings that eat souls or hearts, no. They eat worlds. They start at the
source of all worlds, the hearts of those who live in it. With little
hearts, the worlds defenses drop dramatically. The world gets devoured.
The Inx's eat the heart of the world which then all thats left is to eat
the physical world itself. Everything is gone. They finish it off and
go on to the next world that could get devoured in a few chomps. Where
do the hearts go, no one really knows. Whether they go to the pit of
there God ridden stomachs or to what some people believe is heaven is
still irrelevant. People are dieing.
The Inx have been known to be called many things. The most common name is Devil Spawn. As the name
suggests, they spawn from the devil himself. However, they are called
many things. Many give them simple names such as ghosts and
poltergeists. Us 'proffesionals' perfer the name Inx. Small, simple and
to the point. However, unlike ghosts and poltergeists, you are able to
see them in the flesh. As small as they are, they are very tricky to
spot but once you see one you would wish you never laid eyes on them.
They vary in body but all have the same concept. All of them have a
black substance that drips from there body. Many can see the remains of
the black substance. This substance is where they get there name from.
The substance looks like black ink, thus the name Inx. As well as the
'ink' dripping from there body, they also have yellow eyes that although
very from each other, have the same effect. The eyes show no mercy and
show the beasty nature of that Inx. Once you look into the eyes of an
Inx, there is no 'looking back'.
That is of course if they do show themselves in the flesh. Most of the time they travel through
other shadows. They lurk, wait, and plan there attack on a person that
wishes to walk by unknowing of their pressence. They 'slip' into a
person's shadow and infect their mind. As stated before, it varies in
the time it takes to penetrate into their souls. Many have found ways to
supress the Inx's influences, but that is it. A human alone can not
destroy the darkness that has now possessed them. Unfortunately, the
supressing of an Inx only makes it more agitated. This causes the Inx to
go to different lengths to make the persons heart there lunch.
Exorcisms have at first thought to be the cure of the Inx's possession.
However, it would only cause the person to suffer and die much faster.
Thus prayer has been rendered useless.
***************************************************************
I first discovered these beings at the age of ten when I accidentally
opened my first ever portal. We travel to different worlds through these
very bright portals that not only could send us to different worlds but
send us to different parts of the same world. However, that is not what
I opened those ten or so years ago. I had opened a black portal. It
would drip a black ink like substance and I was pulled in unwillingly by
a force unknown to me. I landed in a very dark and hell like place. The
clouds above me swirled from above. My legs had sunk into the ground
and hardened so my feet could not escape. The one Inx that walked up to
me was like a dog. Very sharp teeth and dripping the same black ink like
substance. I was terrified. I did not understand where I was and why
the being was licking my neck. It stood on its hind legs and the tongue
rapped around my neck, choking me. His front paws had very sharp claws.
He did not attack me with them. He simply watched me choke to death. I
started to feel week and I thought I was going to die. I knew I was
going to die.
I fell to my knees. The Inx hovered over me still choking me with its long tongue. I tried to use my arms and hands
and pull the tounge loose. But the saliva was cold as ice. I could see
its breathe, its yellow and sulfuric smelling breath. The breath was hot
unlike its tongue. Unusual when you really think about it. I started to
see nothing but black. I couldn't see my own hands. I started to slump
onto the ground. I was passing out. I was dieing.
I felt a release from my neck but for some reason couldn't take a breathe at
first. It was like I was in a paused state. I felt defeated. I felt the
feeling of death. I was going to die at the bright ole age of ten. I
suddenly felt light. Like the hell like state had lifted. I wondered
where the beast had gone. I still had not taken a breathe. I opened my
eyes to see all white around me.
What was I saved by?
I looked around to see that nothing was near me. Infact, I was
floating. I noticed I didn't need air. I was not pulling in air. I
didn't need to.
Was I dead?
No matter which direction I looked I saw white. I felt my neck and it felt like a normal
neck. Like as if nothing had been wrapped around it.
Was I in Heaven?
I felt a tear and held it back. I was not going to cry. I felt heat behind me and I quickly, some how, turned around. A
gold and silver sword shined brightly in front of me. I could hear a
voice. It came from all around me.
All will be revieled to you in time. Take my sword, and do not fear them again.
I did not know what exactly I was to do. So with out really thinking I
reached out to the sword and grabbed its handle. I assumed that it
glowed, sense it was like I and the sword faded to white. I found my
self where I was previously. I stood next to the cypress tree where the
portal opened. I did not have the sword in my hand. I was confused and
ran home. I explained to my mother what had happened. At first I thought
that she would not believe my crazy story and thought she would send me
to church in hoping to relieve any mental stress I might have had.
However, to my surprise, she looked content. Worried but content.
"You finally have done it." My mother explained. "You finally learned
who you are."
After a long chat with my mother, she took me to a place of wonder. Where all was revealed to me. My origin. My true
home and worth. The place where I found out more the Inx's but other
worlds. My mind was blown. I never had to go back to school. I was sent
to live in this beautiful castle made of chrystal. A court house of
sorts. A place of wonder and dreams. Lies could not be told. Inx's can
not infect.
We transported there by light portal. Much brighter and lovelier than the one I went into. We were on a small
planet with stars everywhere in the black sky. The Court House stood in
its shining glory. It was quite big. I looked at my mother as she stared
at it then me. She smiled big.
"Are you ready?" She asked me.
"For what exactly?" I replied, still trying to take it all in. I was about to wet myself.
"For your destiney." She said looking into my scared, excited and worried eyes. My eyes widened.
Destiney? What in the name of God is going on? It was too much to take
in at once. I suddenly felt dizzy and fell to the ground and passed out
right there at the door way of the court house.
I awoke to find a young nurse looking at me. I felt scared and worried. My heart
was racing and in an instant I arose and found my self in what was the
hospital. But it wasn't the hospital on earth. It was the hospital in
the Chrystal Court. I was confused. It was too much for a ten year old.
Yet when I looked around if felt, comforting. It was like I had been
there before. The nurse looked at me and smiled.
"Wakey Wakey." She said. "Feeling ok?"
All I could do was nod.
"Good. Your mother will be in shortly." She walked out of the room. I
looked down at my self and reevaluated what all had happened. I had just
discovered the Inx's and what they could do. What pain it caused me.
The emotional confusion I was in. I didn't know whether to be relieved
or to be mad. I breathed in deeply trying to relieve the pressure I had
inside. At that moment I just realized I had finally taken a breath
sense I been choked. I didn't need to breathe.
My mother walked in to see me in a bit of shock. She sat on the edge of the bed
and explained everything she could. With in time I would understand
everything. Until then, however, I was left with basics. I had matured
that day. That days events turned me into what I am today. The ten year
old that took lessons and trials and turned them into values and
disiplines. I turned everything that people suffered and turned them
into beams of light. I wanted to take this gift I had recieved to change
my home town and the world. However, it was going to take more than
this view on life to eliminate the Inx's that would soon infect the
world. I had to grow up. I had to train for the worse. I had to fight
for the light. I had to be the hero. I had to be the legend.
I looked at my mother and asked one question. I had taken in all I
could. She explained the Inx's. She told me of the portals and worlds I
could travel to. She explained me the sword that was now in my
possession. All I had to do was command it with my heart and it would
appear in my very hands. She explained to me the building itself. But
one thing was still lingering.
"Mother," I asked,"Why does this place seem familiar to me?"
My mother grinned again. She almost cried but wiped her eyes. She was relieved of the realization
that I had recognized this place.
"I have just one thing to say to you..." She leaned in closer to my face so I was guaranteed to
hear the words come out of her mouth. Her eyes got watery and bright at
the same time. She smiled.
"Welcome home, Alex."
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