Alright, if you've seen Zombieland then you know that the main character has a list of rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse. Though I've always had a general idea of what to do and what not to do in the (un?)likely event of a world-ending zombie plague, I suppose it would be a good idea to have a list of rules to follow. I think that the perfect number of rules to have would be between 7 and 15, so post your ideas for rules, and if they make sense I'll consider adding them to the list, and eventually try to combine them into smaller, all-encompassing rules, as too many would be too difficult to remember (note- there are no rules against run-on sentences in the post-apocalyptic zombified wasteland).

(Also, these rules are intended for classic Romero type zombies, but for the most part should work in any type of Outbreak)

The list so far:

1- You are not safe. EVER.

2- Cardio- Be able to run for an extended period of time
3- Always carry a minimum of 2 reliable, lethal weapons (I can not stress "ALWAYS" enough)

4- Better safe than stupid (example- use your head; cut off theirs!)

5- Know where you will be sleeping before the sun sets. Be prepared to move out before daybreak.

6- Travel light- No dead weight (this goes for both objects you carry and people you're with. If someone can't pull their own, ditch them)

7- Save one bullet (do I need to elaborate?)

8- Dress smart (Tight-fitting, comfortable clothing, with large, accessible pockets, and preferably velcro-sneakers)

9- Do(n't) be a hero

10- Only pull the trigger if you're ok with every ghoul within hearing-distance knowing exactly where dinner is.

11- Stay nourished and healthy (if you're living off canned food, make sure to take multi-vitamins! And remember, if you get sick, there's no hospital to treat you)(and remember, always use a condom! You really don't want herpes during a zombie apocalypse)

12- Drive safe! (And by that of course I mean drive in a hummer or a large SUV with bars welded to all the windows, and if possible an escape hatch in the roof)

13- If you can avoid it, then do.

14- Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances shall you EVER go anywhere alone (yes, this includes the bathroom)(void if everyone you've ever known/loved is a zombie)

15- Enjoy the little things.

16- Your mind is your most powerful weapon. Think, preferably outside the box (ex- need meds but the hospitals are all filled with Zack? Go to the vet/a pet store!)

17- Leave no doubt- know your way out!

18- Know your environment, use it to your advantage.

19- Tread carefully (watch where you're going and NEVER walk backwards)

20- never give up

21- Calculus (Example- it takes you .75 seconds to hit a zombie in the head with a baseball bat and then prepare to strike again. If a zombie is withing 3 feet of you you can't wind up for a successful kiss-swing. It takes a zombie 3 seconds to walk 2 feet. The situation: you have 5 zombies walking towards you. Before you even prepare your first strike, look at the distance between each of them and determine if it will be possible for one of them to get within 3 feet of you while you dispatch the others. Plan out your kill order and know when you're going to need to back up (but remember rule 19!))

22- 1 shot, 1 kill (slow is smooth, smooth is fast)

Again, if you see any rules that you think you can condense/simplify/throw out, speak up! And make sure you submit your own :D

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16. Natural gas is your friend. Long after all the power gets cut the gas will still be flowing. It is fire, light, heat, and a weapon. If you have time to apply a pipe wrench to the union in the pipes then you don't need to save that last bullet.
Is that really safe to use for anyone who isn't trained in operating that kind of stuff?
By that kind of stuff you mean such esoteric equipment as a furnace, an oven, or a deep fryer? Yes, it's safe. The lighting instructions for a furnace are on the door.

As for opening the union - that part isn't supposed to be safe.
17. Think. 17 b. Think outside the box. Example; fleeing survivors have raided the drug stores, hospitals, and doctor's offices and left you behind with no medicine. Solution, go to the pet store. A big chain pet store has everything from vitamins to sedatives (be VERY careful converting dosages).
Thinking may fall under "better safe than stupid", but this is a great idea, and thinking outside the box is a lifesaver.
18. Bounty paper towels. (They're the quicker picker upper!!!!) (yes, that is a rule!!!! youtube it!!!)
I'm more looking for rules that will save your life.
Have an exit strategy. Don't hide in the basement if there isn't an outside door. Don't run to the roof if you can't climb down. This could also be called "Don't escape INTO a trap."
I meant to add this when I first made the list, somehow it slipped my mind.

By the way, you're one of the only people I've talked to who I'd actual want to ally with after the outbreak. You clearly know how to not have your flesh consumed.
I was a human in an RPG once, I was playing an RPG writer - and my best selling book was was "The Normal Human's Survival Guide." I got a little immersed in the character and actually made some notes for this fictitious book. So, yeah, I might have some tricks.
When in doubt, know your way out.

I disagree. Regardless of whether you're not sure about the situation, know your way out, always.
Right - Leave no doubt, know your way out.


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