Should you encourage gender choices at a young age??

[Faith Perez]

So I just read this article about a 7 year old boy is transgender and wants to be a girl scout. I told my mother about this and she told me it was sad. I didn't and don't understand this. I understand why she thinks it's sad but me, myself, don't think it is. It made me wonder is it wrong to encourage your child if they choose to dress up as the opposite gender? I personally would support my child if they chose to do so but at the age this boy is, is it okay? I would love to hear what other Nerdfighters think about this. 

Article: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/upshot/young-boy-wishes-join-girl-scout...

[Tyler Hogan]

First of all I would like to point out that both of the parents of the boy are lesbians. Which I have no problem with, but I find the fact that a 7-year-old boy came up with this notion all on his own, with no influence, a bit questionable. That said, I don't think a 7-year-old has the mental capacity (not to denote) to make this kind of life decision; one that will be with him for the rest of his life. (a long time.) He can't possibly be thinking of all the consequences--both good and bad--that come with this kind of choice. All the occupations he wont have; the things he wont be able to experience. Wait till your older, more mindful of the world. Anyways, that was kind of a long winded reply...sorry. Its just my opinion.

[Tyler Hogan]

Oh shoot, I thought you were talking about a different story that's been in the news. One where an 11-year-old actually got a sex change. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043345/The-California-boy-... I am still courious what you think about this story. I will say, in regards to your  article, that as a child, or teen, your trying to find an identity. 

[Eystein,]

I can see how this might seem suspect, given that the mothers are gay... But on the other hand, isn't it more likely that a gay couple would pic up on the signs and come to accept it earlier on and then decide to make this, possibly lifesaving treatment much sooner than what heterosexual parents would? This kid also got two older well adjusted brothers so her parents can't actually be accused of being man-haters.

 

I think it wonderful that this is possible, and I wouldn't think any less of a girl if I knew she was once a boy.

[Shane]

I think you both should be careful in how you word your thoughts on this.  Asking whether the child has the "mental capacity" to make this "choice" implies that one's sexual orientation is based upon a personal decision.  I know that there is another topic covering this very issue at the moment, so perhaps you might want to chime in there.  But for the sake of this particular conversation, it would be beneficial to start language that is not so decisive on whether sexuality is a choice.

[Tyler Hogan]

I'm not talking about his sexually orientation. The "choice" I'm talking about is concerning whether or not the child should, himself, have the choice to undergo gender reassignment surgery. As scene in the link aforementioned.

[Shane]

Right.  But the motivating thought on the part of the child is of sexuality - he feels that he is the wrong gender.  Is this a choice?  Or is it something that the child discovers about himself?  This is the issue I wanted to highlight.  Certainly, undergoing surgery is a choice.  But is one's gender?

[ryan brennan]

 

if the other child is 7, he probably has no idea about his sexual orientation. he probably has no idea what the word sexual even means! i know i didnt when i was 7.

it's likely that he is following the natural idea that young children have about wanting to be like their parents. after a while, he will probably give up on trying to be a girl and start dreaming about becoming an astronaught or a fireman or something. it's just how kid's minds work. there is nothing wrong with letting him dress up as a girl, he's just a kid! he probably has no idea about the way an adult would perceive a guy dressing as a girl. he'll just sees this as a fun, little game he can play. one that his parents wil embarrass him with in 8 years when he understands better and brings home a boy/girlfriend. whatever he picks, when he is ready.

 

this is not an issue anyone should be judging or considering to be sad, the child probably doesnt even realise that he was in the news!

[Rhiannon Lawrie]

I think kids should be influenced into their own gender, it isn't sexist for girls to have barbies and boys to play with bionica or whatever. Its natural for kids to conform to the stereotypes so they know the difference between boy and girl, when they eventually grow up they can tell what they want for themselves

[Tyler Hogan]

I guess it also depends where that influence is coming. If a boys lesbian parents start telling their son that boys are gross and evil, its potentially shaping his life. Removing that from him.

[ryan brennan]

well, the assumption that they would be saying things like that is pretty far-fetched, i'd say. if they have a child who is a boy, they probably won't be telling him that boy that boys are gross and evil, and that he has to become a girl, because that sounds like truly terrible parenting.

[Rhiannon Lawrie]

yeh, I'm assuming that lesbians would be good parents here, I hope people want the best for their kids and morally its best to help them found out who they are by first identifying the stereotypes around them

[Eystein,]

Well they wouldn't actually have to say anything explicitly. It could be enough with poorly concealed frowns or displays of disappointment whenever the kid would do something boyish they dislike. Sensitive kids would pick up on this and get wired to please.