The Death of Abstinence and Teetotalism

[Kristen Albertson]

I'm not going to get all preachy and religious here so if that's what you've come for, I'd prefer that you keep the "brimstone and fire" to a minimum.

 

I'm a Christian teenage girl and I plan to practice abstinence from sexual indulgence until I am married and I am a teetotaler, which means I do not ever and will not ever (hopefully) drink alcohol (I should hope most teens are like this, as drinking alcohol underage is, in most places, illegal - not to mention that it damages your health and prevents you from developing as well as you can).

 

I have noticed that in pop and teen culture nowadays, being a virgin at age 20 or 30 (the ages I hope to at least reach before marrying) is considered to be weird. This is just the vibe I have gotten, so I beg your pardon if you think otherwise. And if you do, you should say so! :)

 

I was wondering whether abstaining from sex before marriage is still practiced, what you think about it, if it's still logical or realistic for schools to promote it, etc.

 

Also, what are your opinions on alcohol, drugs, etc. -- whether drugs should be legalized, whether the drinking age should be moved down to 18 and anything else you can think of.

 

Thank you in advance for all and any thoughtful responses and discussion!

[Abreo]

Well depending on what you have in mind when you're using the word weird I may consider it weird. It is, definitely, unusual in our culture for someone to be 30 and still a virgin. I wouldn't want to pressure anyone to have sex in any way but that is pretty old for a virgin. I don't really care though, people can do whatever they want with themselves. I'm 19 and I'm a virgin so even if I felt differently I guess I couldn't really talk. 

 

I am so against abstinence being taught in school, talking about safe sex is fine but abstinence is getting too preachy especially since that philosophy is usually grounded in religious beliefs. I would also say it's not logical to promote it "assuming an secular world view" since not having sex before marriage doesn't really have any logical reasoning behind it, it's mostly just personal preference. It would be nice if less teens got knocked up but having sex when you're older and better prepared for any possible consequences is different than having sex when you're married.  

 

I'm for all drugs being legalized, people should have the freedom to do whatever they want to themselves. 

[Hannah]

I agree that the common age for losing virginity is becoming younger, but then it's not so different to our ancestors. People used to have sex, and even children at incredibly young ages. The difference is that girls would be married off first, making this alright, not the mention the shorter life span. If I personally met a virgin at 30, I would see this as something out of the ordinary, but I would easily just accept this, and naturally not find it a big deal.

 

I think in modern society it is pointless for abstinence to be encourage, as it would not have any positive effects on teen culture, particularly in western society. Those who are going to do stupid things will regardless, and others will already know that sex needs a careful approach. Also, I don't think we need to go as far as abstinence; it is easier to educate people on safe sex and relationships than to try and convince teenagers not to have sex before marriage. Why not just go with the more viable option?

 

As to drugs and alcohol, I am myself (For the most part) a Teetotaler. I watch my friends, who I might mention are underage, get drunk while I sit there totally sober; not much fun for me. At my exam results this year, a friend had a party and some sort of coctail was forced into my hand. I took a small, polite sip and put it down. I felt too uncomfortable not to try it, but I shouldn't have really. I occasionally drink softdrinks with alcohol, like shandy and victorian lemonade, but I think I'll probably stop that. It began by me seeing how drugs and alcohol affected people I know, and  began not to trust myself at all. Now, I just feel I want to be in control of my body, and I don't want substances to influence the person I am. This is not a religious belief; I don't belong to a religion. I do respect Bhuddism greatly, and perhaps that has influenced my decision slightly.

 

Whilst I remember having lots of sex education, and covering drugs at school, the dangers of alcohol were never fully covered. Anything I know about the long term effects of alcohol, I learnt from the news and my parents. I don't think making alcohol illegal would help, but I think teenagers need a much better education of safe drinking. We have sex ed before 16, so why not alcohol ed before 18? (In the UK, legal drinking age is 18. This seems to work fairly well, but being under 18 myself I'm not sure)

 

As for the legalisation of drugs, I think it's a very bad idea. If I could, I think I'd go back in time and ban alcohol and cigarettes so they never became a problem. Yes, it is one's personal choice whether you want to take the risk. However, many minors are unaware fully of the risks involved with drugs, and those uneducated may be taking a risk they are not full informed on. Also, it would come at a great cost to the NHS (UK free health care) which is unfair, seeing as drug-abuse is normally the individual's responsibility. There's also the issue of gangs drug trafficking, and I don't know what nasty business and bribery would arise from drug legalisation.

[Dayna Brooks Halls Lang]

they did ban alcohol,(in the USA at least) in the 20's.  it was called "prohibition" and it  brought about al capone and the MOB, who, as we know, caused alot of death and violence. that didnt work and it was legalized again.  now, the MOB traffics drugs instead of alcahol, if drugs were legalized, and im not saying they should be, then the MOB would loose business, drug dealers would loose business, and these items could be taxed, and highly.  also, people who are addicts will be more likely o come forward for the help they so despritly need.

[Hannah]

I know a little about the prohibition from Gatsby, and I agree it did not work. Perhaps if it had been stopped before it's popularity rose, then maybe. But I totally agree that banning it now would be foolish. Indeed they probably would use business, but who knows what kind of bribery and blackmail could be done in its place? I know there are many problems now, but I'm sure there would be equal problem if drugs were legalised. Not to mention to uproar from those against drugs, and though I do not know what it is like in the US, here in the UK drugs tend not to be favoured and I strongly believe a majority would disagree. I think there's a lot to influence this decision, and it won't be happening anytime soon.

[Kenny]

You fail logic forever.  You really do.

[Hannah]

Do you care to explain, and debate rather than state? There is much in my argument that may be found illogical, and you would have to state your area of reference. A counter argument might help too, or you could just be rude about other's opinions. Up to you.

[Kenny]

There's also the issue of gangs drug trafficking, and I don't know what nasty business and bribery would arise from drug legalisation.

 

This, right here.  Gangs are involved with drug trafficking because drugs are illegal.  Transporting and selling them requires people with few morals and lots of guns to be involved.  Legalizing them would completely remove this need.  Violence is not necessary to transport legal materials from A to B (proof of concept: beer trucks can post the name of the brewery on the panel of the truck and transport thousands of gallons of the stuff across state lines without ever needing to whip out a Kalashnikov).  Why?  Because when something is legal there is no need to violently defend your product from the law.  Further proof of concept:  Please go and try to buy beer from the Crips.  Let me save you some time; you can't, because there is no need for a criminal organization to be involved in production and sale of a legal product.

 

And I have no fucking clue what you're talking about with bribery.  Who the fuck is bribing whom to sell a legal product?

[Hannah]

Sorry, I think you misunderstood. I simply meant that gangs don't just stop being gangs, even if drugs were legalized. I just meant that they would still be doing nasty business, and their new business could be worse than it is currently. As time passes, police become more adept at dealing with the current issue, but it could take time to readjust to new issues or a rise in different issues. Gangs won't just stop doing illegal things, but I am lacking knowledge in this matter so it came out a bit rambly. I was aware that there wouldn't be a need for drug trafficking, I just didn't really make that clear. As I say, I don't know much so probably shouldn't have mentioned this issue. But I'm sure legalisation wouldn't solve gang crimes entirely, and there are always new threats to replace old ones.

[Abreo]

Without drugs gangs would only be left with very few possible choices in terms of illegal activities to take part in. Prostitution, weapons or other illegal items, and hit men. There's no good reason not to make prostitution legal as well (and there only needs to be pimps unless you count sex slavery which I hope would go away if prostitution was legalized every. If it didn't though sizable gangs still would be unnecessary since you wouldn't need so many people to be involved in it.), hit men have a very limited number of clients (especially when compared to drugs) and they have no need to work in gangs, so the only real problem is the sale of illegal weapons and other goods (that aren't drugs). However that too relies on demand and without drug pushers working the streets the demand for illegal weapons will also drop (only hit men would really need them, maybe some serial killers) so that just leaves the other goods that you cannot find in stores. Basically bootlegged shit (which for the most part is all online now for free) and not much more than that (Cuban cigars if those stay illegal). There may be some hacking equipment and maybe some other stuff that'll come along at some point but nothing will ever replace drugs. Ever. Never. Ever. Ever. There is a high demand for drugs that history has shown will not be rivaled by anything and drugs fuel the illegal economy. Once the drugs go away gangs go away because there won't be any need for them (unless they're not concerned with profit and just enjoy killing each other for fun).

[Dayna Brooks Halls Lang]

i have a close friend who practies absinence, and another who does not want to eveer drink, so i dont think its gone, i just think most people who choose these paths dont talk about it all the time because they don't see it as anyone elses business.

i myself am not a virgin, and i do drink on the rare occasion (however i do not binge drink).  and i do find this to be the so called "norm" amoung the "popular" kids at school. however, if u look beyond social groops and at individual people i think u will find more teanagers than u had origonally thought are abstinate and drug free. :) 

however i would like to say  that i am against abstinence only education at school, because if teenagers want to do it, they are going to, no matter what you tell or teach them , and you might as well provide them with the information to do it as safely as possible. they shouls also be taught about alcahol and drugs, and about the dangers, because they are going to learn what drugs are eventually and the more they know the safer and more carefull they might be.  (and hopefully they choose a the very least to stay away from drugs, if not alcahol)

 

 

[ryan brennan]

i'm a teenager, and i dont drink or do drugs or smoke, and i don't plan to for many years, but i don't want to abstain from sex.

 

sex is an important part of life, it's an important part of growing up.

[Deborah Nugent]

Hi, don't have sex or do drugs. I do drink on the rare occasion though, I have however been trying to cut that out totaly for health reasons.

In regards to witholding from sex untill marraige, I do know some older women who have lived through to thier 30s and 40s with out sex. They are very inspirational women for me to know and I don't find it too wierd.

Mostly want I want to say is good on ya for holding on to your values and I wish you the best with that. I'm 19 and for the first time holding onto these ideals are actualy getting rather difficult with college literaly throwing condoms at me.