I'm in my first year of university, studying English and creative writing. I'm enjoying the academics a lot, but other than that, I can't say that I really like going to uni that much. I'm in my second semester now, and things are looking up a bit after four months of trying to survive - physically and mentally. All of my problems seemed to stem from social issues.
I might be nerdy and a bit awkward and shy, but I've always managed to find friends. I was with a great group of people all throughout high school and I miss them now that I'm here. Coming into university I was suddenly the loner, the outcast, and it was not a role that I enjoyed playing in the least. I'm underage, wouldn't drink even if I could, hate going out at night (I like to sleep!) and am not really comfortable in large groups of drunken people (aka parties). Unfortunately, university students seem to like nothing better than being drunk and hanging out with a huge crowd of people. All I have ever needed are a few close friends to hang out with. Maybe we would go see a movie, walk around downtown for the afternoon, or sit around and chat. That doesn't seem to exist in university. Everyone wants to have a million friends, everyone wants to hang out in huge groups where you can never get to know anyone well enough to even call them your friends. The general philosophy here seems to be "I can sleep when I'm old, 1am is way to early to be home, even though I have class tomorrow!" I do not agree with this philosophy and am tired of sitting in my house alone on weekends while all of my housemates go out a party. At the same time, I refuse to join them. I don't like partying. I tell myself I should go with them, and I have a couple of times, only to come back exhuasted and overwrought, not having met anyone I would like to hang out with, and smelling like cigarettes I didn't smoke and beer I didn't drink.
I think I can attribute some of my dislike for the above activties to my nerdiness. I learned a theory about introverted and extraverted personalities in pyschology class last semester. The theory says that introverted people have a slighty higher than normal level of brain activity, and extraverted people have a slightly lower level (this doesn't mean they're stupid, it's just got something to do with electrical signals). Extraverted people have no trouble in highly stimulating social environments like loud parties because their level of brain activity is only raised to the "normal" level, which is not uncomfortable. Introverted people on the other hand don't like stimulating social environments because their brain activity, already higher than normal, is raised to an uncomfortably high level. I would definitely classify myself as an introverted person, and I wish someone could prove this theory was true so I could blame my dislike of bars, clubs, parties, and large groups on it.
My question then, I suppose, is do you think nerdiness goes along with social problems? Is there anyone out there who has had or is having a similar expirience to me, and if so, do you blame the fact that you are a "nerd" on it? Nerds have been stigmatized by the media to be socially inept, and I used to laugh at it, but now I'm wondering if there isn't some truth to the stereotypes we see in movies and TV shows. Is there something about the way that "nerds" act or think that makes it difficult for them to fit in with different sorts of people?
Thanks for listening to my venting (that was kind of the main point of this post) and I'd love to hear what you think!