Using inclusive words and words we don't even think about!

[Hannah Twinn]

I recently watched Laci Green's video on using the term partner* opposed to specifying whether you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that way those who are not comfortable with stating for certain reasons are able to be included in the conversation without having to 'out themselves'. This got me thinking about other 'inclusive terms/words/gestures/phrases' that one could use so as to not offend anyone. 

It also made me think how many offensive words are out there that are used in everyday conversation without a second thought. Not profanity but words such as 'crazy', I hadn't thought about how this could hurt someone because everyone I know, including myself, uses it so flippantly. One thing I personally find offensive is when people mime shooting themselves in the head or say 'this makes me want to kill myself' as someone whose best friend committed suicide I find this extremely distasteful and (although unintentionally) hurtful.  Don't even get me started on the over use of the term 'depressed'

I know these are mainly used as jokes but that is what makes them so much worse, they are making light of terrible things. I know this could be seen by some as being 'too politically correct' (or as I like to call it - just correct) but I think it's a serious matter that should be addressed.

Have you ever noticed this? Do you use inclusive words to make others feel safe to talk? Do you think this needs to change? Because I certainly do, ever since I started thinking about this I've tried to avoid  using these words and yet I'm still surrounded by them.

DFTBA.

*Laci Green's video on partners - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YevpsCV8GvM&feature=plcp

[CD]

Context is everything.

Honestly, sometimes things really are crazy, and toeing around could be offensive to crazy people. For example, declaring that war should be waged on people who don't believe in the same imaginary friend as yours.  Yes, we call those gods.  But until we have proof, they're effectively imaginary.  So why do some people get called crazy when voices tell them what to do, and others that do the same thing get called prophets? 

[Hannah Twinn]

It is true that in certain contexts people are 'crazy' however your use of the word kind of just proves my point - by using the term 'crazy' for some people who believe in different things e.g. a god or multiple ones you have used it incorrectly. Crazy is a derogatory word for those with mental health problems. However calling someone who hears voices crazy, whilst it is true, is still derogatory. By someone believing in a god or having different beliefs to you is not crazy it's just there personal opinion/beliefs. So I can understand what you mean by context, it is for that person to deem what they think it crazy (such as believing in what you call 'imaginary friends') however this is only perpetuating the incorrect use of the word. And rather than being so quick to assume that because someone doesn't believe the same thing as you that they are crazy the person should say that they believe that person to be incorrect or any number of other words that mean the same. 

These words and terms become very hard to define and get extremely complicated and confusing!

[Latch33570]

It is just political correctness gone haywire. After a while people seem to get offended by a word used the previous generation used and the cycle repeats itself. How many different words for black people have been used in the last few decades. It is the same with gay people and other labels you put on people.

[CD]

Yeah, and the thing is, sometimes those words were used right before a lynch mob came along.  I would hardly call them not loaded, or not offensive in any way.

Also,  Hannah's rebuttal of what I said makes sense.  Really, it's derogatory to use 'crazy' on people with mental health issues, whether they're backed up by religion or not.  And sorry Hannah, but just because the voices were heard 1000 years ago and got followers,  as opposed to yesterday, with a mental health label applied, does not mean the events were empirically different in some way.   Perhaps we should lessen the ad populum fallacy that applies to 'why prophets are revered and schizophrenics are not'.   In doing so, we might understand that not all people we call 'schizophrenic' are actually 'insane'  and not all 'prophets'  are 'sane'.   The desire to respect differences in belief doesn't change that the word 'crazy' is derogatory,  but it also doesn't make my point empirically invalid, either.

[Abreo]

I don't know, I can see how suicide jokes can bother people but even just joking about it sometimes can make me feel so much better. To quote a favorite philosopher of mine “The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.”

I don't usually joke about that sort of thing when I'm happy at least, I wonder if it's the same for everyone else.

I absolutely don't see a problem with the term crazy though. The use of the term crazy is very similar to the use of the terms unintelligent, stupid, idiotic and so forth. Essentially intellectually disabled people are by definition idiots because that's what the word idiot is defined as. However if we couldn't use the word idiotic, or words with similar definitions to describe certain things we would lose a lot out of our ability to communicate. It's a simple thing to communicate the feeling that an idea lacks intellectual backing but it's incredibly important to linguistics because without it our view of the world would change dramatically. In some ways for the better, but it inhibits our ability to understand more than anything else. Same with the word crazy. The word crazy communicates an aura of emotions and concepts and ideas that can't be so easily communicated without. It's more than just hectic, or at least it can be. People don't use words poetically when their complaining to their friends about their crazy day but the word crazy is still the word their subconscious deemed most proper for use in describing the day.

Some words are potentially offensive, but that doesn't mean we should stop using them.

I tried to sum that up briefly but in that paragraph there's a book of ideas that can be elaborated on.

I also disagree with Laci, I'm all for pressuring people to come out. I think we're at a time where nothing more can be done just by fighting for gender equality or fighting for sexuality equality. If more men have female idols then women would be equal. If there were more people of various sexualities that were out there and idolic then straights would look up to them and that alone would cause them to not see safe sexualities as not negative qualities. That hopefully wouldn't work for pedophiles though. That being said I can understand why there might be a situation where it would not be a good idea to admit you're gay.

That being said I just don't like the word partner as a term for someone you're dating or screwing. Partner sounds like a business associate and using it in that way just sounds gross. Even calling the person you're with "the anthropomorphic human butt I penetrate with my glorious juice squirting flesh sword" sounds cleaner and less offensive than the word partner. Personal problem, I know, but damn it I will fight against the use of the word partner until I die!

[CD]

Partner sounds like a business associate and using it in that way just sounds gross.

It does a bit.  Yet it might also convey a sense of maturity that the dimunitive "girl/boy"friend does not, nor does the term "husband/wife"  truly convey equality.   Best friend is also a bit misleading, cos you know, we don't always shag them. 

Even calling the person you're with "the anthropomorphic human butt I penetrate with my glorious juice squirting flesh sword" sounds cleaner and less offensive than the word partner.

I totally LOL'd at that.   I take it you're coming from a male perspective (see what I did there!).  My assumption would be that a lesbean would find "the humanoid carpeted vertical smile I caress with my pie hole"  more accurate.  It would still be gross and equally inaccurate, you know, not everything's about sex (you pervert...joking, your not a perve)

[Abreo]

It does a bit.  Yet it might also convey a sense of maturity that the dimunitive "girl/boy"friend does not, nor does the term "husband/wife"  truly convey equality.   Best friend is also a bit misleading, cos you know, we don't always shag them. 

I don't like girlfriend and boyfriend either, they don't sound immature to me it's just a weird think to call someone you're with. I can have a girl female friend person without them being my girlfriend. People call things weird things.

[CD]

Maybe just calling people by name?  How to denote the relationship status though,  "I've facebook updated to "in a relationship with"!

[Hutch Hogan]

I don't particularly know why, but I don't like the term partner for a relationship context.  It just seems too distancing.  Maybe there are better terms, but as a hetero male, I think the term girlfriend applies well for my significant other.  I don't think that sexual orientation is something to be ashamed of, and I don't particularly mind ousting myself in that context. 

As for the colloquial use of the term depressed.  People are using it correctly, a depression is any sort of lessened emotional state.  It doesn't have to refer to the medical diagnosis. 

-Hutch

[CD]

People are using it correctly, a depression is any sort of lessened emotional state.  It doesn't have to refer to the medical diagnosis.

Actually, the correct term is sadness or melancoly.  Depression is quite something else.

[Hutch Hogan]

According to my dictionary:

Depression(irrelevant definitions omitted):

2.the state of being depressed.

4. sadness; gloom; dejection.

5.Psychiatry . a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than thatwarranted by any objective reason. Compare clinical depression.

Depress(ed): 1.to make sad or gloomy; lower in spirits; deject; dispirit.

Unless this dictionary is an irregularity, it seems that I'm right to say that depressed is a fair synonym for simple sadness when not talking in psychiatric circles. 

[CD]

Oh damn,  the ICD and DSM are wrong.  I better tell my former lecturers.

Seriously,  this is a diagnostic issue.  

You walk into the doctor and say "I'm depressed"  and unless they've got the appropriate training, if you both thinking that definition, you might be diagnosed with a mood disorder you don't actually have.   You might then also be doped up on anti-depressants.  Considering you're not actually medically depressed, it might give you a manic like episode.  Which will mean a rediagnosis of bipolar II or cyclothymic disorder.   Then you'll think you're truly mad, and then you'll be medically depressed for real.  Let's hope this is me just going a bit extreme in tiredness.  But it's not impossible for this to happen.

The short answer is, don't mess with diagnostic terms.  The dictionary is wrong on this one.

If you're sad, just say you're sad for crying out loud (literally and figuratively)