Virginity

[Kenny]

Earlier tonight me and my friend were talking and the topic of virginity came up. I asked her how she wanted her first time to be, and she said that she hadn't given it much thought, and didn't really care about "the specifics". I'd always thought that girls put a lot of thought into this kind of thing, so I decided to make a discussion on the Ning about it =)

Ok guys and girls, tell me your thoughts on virginity. How/when/where do you plan on losing yours? Do you still have yours? Do you regret doing it too soon? Was it everything you ever imagined it to be? etc.

[Adrienne Garr]

honestly if i knew what i know now, i would have waited. there are only a few decisions that we choose for ourselves and that is one of them. In addition to that my husband and I have an amazing "intimate relationship" he is the best! And I feel like i should have waited because the previous experiences i'd had with others dont hold a candle, a match , a keychain flash light to what we do when we get together.
GO MARRAIGE! :D

[Alex Morton]

I think that everything surrounding sex, virginity, orgies, kinkiness etc. is just the way that we as a society have been bought up to believe. Most people feel that sex it a taboo subject and if you talk about it too much or in the wrong way then, also like the taboo surrounding He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Death Eaters will come and get you. Now for people of the age of 20ish and older (I hope) that they would have realised that sex should be thought about in any sort of sinful or negative way. If people were educated at a very young age that there is nothing wrong with sex as it is a natural practise that occurs between two (or even 3 or 4 or 5 or 6) people.

There have been studies done to show that sex is a necessary part of a human life, and that a lack of such an event can be extremely damaging to a person. I feel that there is nothing wrong with having sex before you are married, or with a number of people, as long as it is done in a safe environment. I mean, I don’t think I would want to marry a person and have absolutely no idea on how to pleasure them, release there endorphins and simply make them cum.

To keep to the topic, I lost mine when I was 16 to my girlfriend of 6 months. We are no longer together, but I regard her as one of my closest friends that I am still able to rely on if I need some one. There was nothing magical about it, nothing spectacular but she knew what she was doing (which I am so thankful for) and it happened in my bedroom on a rainy cold afternoon.

[Adrienne Garr]

that is one positive about having sexual experiences prior to marriage. I know that many men don't want a woman that dosen't know what she is doing, but they don't want a woman that has slept with all the homies either ...

[Meagan Doohan]

20 years old and still a virgin. I don't think it's a big deal, I'm just waiting for the right guy to come around. I'm also kind of shy around the opposite sex, so I'd really like to learn how to make lasting emotional bonds before I go for the physical. If possible, I'd like my first time to be with a guy who has little experience, so I don't feel quite so awkward. xD

[Occam'sTrimmer]

same, to the tee. Minus the right guy part.

[Marianne]

I'm 23 and still a virgin. It's something I'm proud of because there have been countless times I almost lost it and frankly I'd have regretted each one. It's not that I'm 'prudish' but I really want my first time to be with someone I love and who loves me back.

[Marianne]

A friend of mine was like that, until he fell in love and realised he couldn't share that special moment with his girlfriend because he lost his virginity drunk at a party with a stranger. Up until that point all he talked about was sex and how great it was, but he still hated himself for losing it in the end.

[Marianne]

I'm sorry you feel that way, I guess I can't relate because I don't really want a boyfriend. If someone came along who I liked then I wouldn't say no, but I'm not actively seeking to find anyone as I'm pretty happy being single, I always have been. Normally when I say I'm 23 and haven't been in a serious relationship people are shocked, but I much prefer investing my time in friendships while I'm young.

[Übereil]

I suggest that you accept that you're never going to get a girlfriend and work from there. Sounds depressing? Well, it has it's advantages.

You'll stop feeling like you have to find a girlfriend and lose your virginity. After all, that you haven't done so doesn't mean you're a failure (unless you're using a really sexist definition of success). This will ensure that if you get to actually have sex you will appreciate it as a major bonus rather than just feeling relieved that you've gone from "loser" to "normal". This will also ensure that the pressure to lose your virginity will go away, which will actually help you find a girl, since girls isn't into desperation (and it appears from what you've written so far that you're desperate to find a girlfriend).

[Roni]

I wish I had waited. Sex is fun and great but at least for me, it's a very personal experience and I can't have it with someone I don't trust. And in this situation, I got into it thinking it wouldn't be as big of a deal as everyone thought, and, well, guess what - it was. My loss of virginity happened in my very own bed. I don't think any kind of special rights are needed like lit candles and good music (although not gonna lie that DOES make everything feel really nice:) just because if you like or love someone enough then they should be enough.

[Marianne]

Yeah, and smoking makes you cool.

[Roni]

I have never known anyone that smokes that told me i'd be cooler if I smoked, and i'm friends with a lot of people who do. I've never once been pressured by anyone I met, and I've met a LOT of people. But that's a different story

Yeah the thing is being a virgin is something so ridiculous when you have it and so precious when you lose it