Hey there, so I'm well known for telling the worst puns >.< (or best, if you like corny jokes) and i was wondering if any fellow nerdfighters also share my lover for punny jokes, usually science or maths based, but any are welcome :3

Post your most awesomely terrible jokes below ^_^

"Did you here about the scientist who cooled himself down to absolute zero? He was 0K"

"I often tell terrible chemistry jokes, and they tend to produce volatile reactions"

Also, scientists aren't as boring as you'd think ;)

Fluid dynamicists do it in the bath.
Heisenberg was never sure whether or not he did it.
Particle physicists do it energetically.
Physicists do it with rigid bodies.
Physicists get a big bang. 
Physics majors do it at the speed of light. 
Plasma physicists do it with everything stripped off.
Spectroscopists do it until it hertz. 
Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity.
Lab assistants do it on the bench.

Tags: Funny, jokes, puns, science

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*The Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says, "What are you doing here?" The Higgs Boson replies, "You can't have mass without me."

*A hydrogen atom is walking down the street with a friend when he suddenly stops. The friend says, "What's wrong?" The hydrogen atom replies, "I lost my electron!" The friend says, "Are you sure?" The hydrogen atom exclaims, "Yes, I'm positive."

*An airplane is flying with a large family from Poland past the grand canyon. The pilot makes note of the landmark over the intercom. The whole family rushes over to the right side of the plane to look out the windows at it. The plane crashes and everyone dies. What's the moral of the story? Poles on the right half plane make the system unstable. 

* A cop pulled me over. He asked, "Do you know how fast you are going?" I reply, "Not really, but I have a pretty good idea of where I am."

I didn't make these up, but here are a couple of heard:


Hey, are you made of copper and tellurium?  Because you are CuTe.


What did the acorn say when it was all grown up?  Gee, om-a-tree!



Ok this is a true story. So my friend and I were working on a chem project last year. Part of our project involved making a model of Krypton. The way it was constructed used a hanger to hang it up and we had balanced it on the lab counter in front of us while we finished up something else. One of the popular annoying girls started touching it and put it back asking if it'd fall. I look at her "Don't worry, it's stable."

My friend and I then proceeded to laugh for the rest of the class.

so a neturon walks in a bar and asks ''ill just have some of that ''and also says'' what will it be'' bartender says ''for you no charge''

lol these are good, may i add to our wall of corn,

  • where do neuron stars live?  astrocytes
  • if giants are red, and dwarfs are white, how do you get a red dwarf?

I am also known for being horribly puny within my group of friends... It is awesome. Kinda.

Here is one of my favorites:

Chemists do it on the on the table periodically.

I have a shirt with that on it :D


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