Bisexuality

[Sarah Elizabeth]

Okay so I've been having a little bit of trouble identifying as bisexual, because people seem to feel that you have to choose to be either straight or gay, and that to be bisexual is to either be experimenting or unwilling to admit that you're gay. I even have a gay acquaintance who says that bisexuals are "fakers". However for me, its the person I am attracted to, not the gender, and bisexuality is the easiest way to explain that to people.

So I wanted to pose the question, what do you think about the Bisexual label? Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with bisexuality, because I don't really believe that sexuality is a black or white deal. But I'd like to hear from other people.

[Michelle]

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I identify as bisexual as well and have heard similiar things. I don't really understand why people seem even less willing to accept the fact of bisexuality than homosexuality.
It might be because some people really do use it as a transitional step. This one study I know of via wikipedia followed LGB youths over a long period of time found that 30-40% of the kids who originally identified as bisexual came to identify themselves as gay/lesbian. But that leaves a whole chunk of people who identify as bisexual for the long haul (this is one reason I took so long to come out, I didn't want to give any appearance of waffling about which would promote the stereotype that ALL bisexuals just 'haven't figured it out yet')
Then there are people like Freud who think that everyone is bisexual (well more specifically he thought that everyone could become bi at some point in their life), and the idea of a range of sexuality - like the Kinsey scale - is becoming more acceptable.
The science of sexuality still has a lot to learn, and at this stage it's especially difficult to define something so complex. As comforting as labels can be at times, I sort of wish people (or rather society) would just chillax, and stop worrying so much about what to call themselves. Cough, pomosexuality.

[Betsy C.]

I like to think it's the mind I'm attracted to and not the 'nads. I do tend to crush on smart people... Neil deGrasse Tyson, Adam Savage (I also like silly), Kari Byron... OK the entire Mythbusters team, really, some friends of both genders I will not name for the Intarwebz is not private...

[Sarah Elizabeth]

Michelle,
after a quick wiki search for "pomosexuality" (which is a term I know LOVE! Thank you!) I thought I'd respond. It was actually the Kinsey scale that helped me relax a bit, because when I was younger (I'm nineteen now, but I'm talking about when I was 15) I thought that you were either straight, or gay. This probably over-complicated everything because I knew I definately wasn't 100% straight, but I didn't feel like I was 100% gay either, but I didn't realize that sexuality didn't work that way. Of course, now I understand that the human need to define things isn't anything like the way life actually is, and that I didn't need to put myself into a strict category. After I accepted that and understood that, I was able to actually start to talk to other people and begin the "coming out" process (which I chose to take slowly, instead of coming out all at once, because it seemed weird to make a huge production out of it).
Also, thanks for your input, Betsy C! Your first sentence actually made me laugh out loud!

[Kinz]

I never really figured it out, either, how people are so against bisexuality. When my friend came out to her mom as bisexual, her mom had a much harder time accepting it than if she had just said lesbian. Her mom said she didn't believe in bisexuality. Granted, my friend did come to realize that she didn't like guys at all, but like somebody said, there's still 60-70% of bisexual teens and adults who "stay" bisexual. Sexuality isn't a black or white deal; nothing in this world is. I don't think there's anything wrong with bisexuality or any sort of sexuality for that matter. It matters on the person. Why should it matter what gender s/he is?

I think also that bisexuality is a lot less publicised than homosexuality, and so if people haven't heard of it they're more likely to think that the bi person is making it up as an excuse to not decide or something.

And on a side matter- I was looking at the Wikipedia page for asexuality (which I was wondering if I am, because I've never felt any sort of attraction towards anyone, besides platonic "I love you as a friend but loving you in any other way would be gross"; I still wonder I guess, but I don't know if I just haven't met the right person yet or whatever, and it doesn't really matter to me), and it was kind of freaking me out because my first name is Kinsey... do you have any idea how creepy it is to see your (rare enough that you're not used to seeing it in any sort of public forum) name in a context like that? It was so weird for me. It's bad enough that my best friend thinks of Dr. Alfred Kinsey everytime she hears my name... -_-

[Elizabeth]

i don't really see how it's "faking" at all. i myself am not exactly sure if i'm bisexual or not, but i feel that i'm more attracted to the person's personality, not their gender.(granted, i haven't met a girl that i'm attracted to enough to pursue other than being friends, but i digress.) i've also already talked to my mom about how she would feel if i was lesbian/bisexual and she said she would still think of me as the same girl she always knew, but i'm not so sure about my father and i'm really worried that if i were to be lesbian/bisexual, he just wouldn't accept it.

[CaptainElaine(Strawbee)Harkness]

I'm bisexual and to be honest I think of it this way...I find both sexes attractive. I don't only see the sensual beauty of one or the other. They both sexually attract me, and that's that.

Mom mother flipped when she heard I'm bi, and she only heard by accident. She's now back to acting normal around me, but told me she'd sit shiva for me if I ever got into a serious relationship with a girl...

She seems to still have hope as long as I like guys though, so I guess it's a damn good thing I'm not lesbian. my parents couldn't handle that, and I have enough difficulty as it is.

[Lottie]

I am a bisexual, and agree with what you (sarah Elizabeth) and what Elaine said-
if your bisexual you are attracted to both sexes, I am attracted to peoples personality, i dont care about gender, and then I start finding myself attracted to both guys and gals, and it feels natural- and to me that was when I became bisexual.

and bisexuals arent fakers XD

*hugs all*

[CaptainElaine(Strawbee)Harkness]

*hugs back*

I hate it when it's called faking...or when people say it's all about trying to get attention...

[Amanda J.I.]

I was told, by a gay male friend who was snarky, that bisexuals are just 'greedy'. Oh that peeved me. *makes sour face*

[Francis (Nerdfighterlife)]

I'm bisexual myself. I find both males and females attractive. I tend to date more on personality than gender...so, I suppose a better term would be nerdosexual?

[CaptainElaine(Strawbee)Harkness]

Lol, nerdosexual...*glomp*
My day has been made

[Becca]

Awesome, you just defined my sexuality.
I work in a clothes store, and basically one of the girls pointed to this muscular guy, who kinda looked and sounded like he hadn't learned to breathe through his mouth yet, and she said "He's so fit.."
I was like "...".
She asked what kinda guys I'm into (I haven't told work folks I'm bisexual) and I was like "Nerdy guys? The tall, thin, pale types who know what html is and can hold a conversation..."
She just looked at me then walked away...