I've noticed the discussions on here aren't really what I thought would be here. In other words, there need to be more. So I've taken it upon myself to start this group, and we'll see where it goes?
Basically I want this to be somewhere we can all share our experiences, whether it be with homophobia, coming out, relationships, the likes. We can all tell our stories and talk to other people going through similar things.
So here's my story:
I'm on this writing site called wattpad.com and I started talking to this girl around last year. She was so sweet, and she asked me to be her online girlfriend. I agreed. We were so happy and in love, even though it didn't seem possible. We were very different. The love lasted for quite a while, but soon our communications were shorter and more infrequent. I guess after a while things got better, but they were strained. Soon I ended it because I thought I liked someone else. After a week we got back together and were in love once more...until she ended it. She found someone else like I had, only she had no intentions of getting back together. I haven't spoken to her since she broke my heart.
Now what's your story?
Two days ago, my dad was driving me to work with Mom riding shotgun (she had a doctor's appointment nearby). He was listening to the satellite radio all-'60s channel as usual; when "My Girl" came on, I started singing along. It wasn't meant to be any kind of statement- I just like the song. Mom twisted around in her seat and remarked in falsely cheery tones that girls could- and, it was implied, should- change it to "my guy." She them proceeded to demonstrate, loudly enough to drown me out. Since I'm not out to Dad, she couldn't be more explicit or force me to follow her example. But still- really, Mom? -_-
That is so wrong of her to do because if you are out to her she knows how you would feel about that. I might be making a big deal out of it but did she really have to do that? It's like- Really?
I'm so sorry. I think it's wrong too, especially because I think that parents should love their children no matter what, and it breaks my heart when I hear that parents fail on that critical part of the relationship. Just know that you are absolutely perfect the way you are. Your mother should love and respect you, the whole you, for the beautiful and wonderful person you are, because you are what you are and that's all there is too it. And once you accept that, and the people around you accept that, the world becomes a much brighter place.
<3 Much Love and DFTBA
So maybe this isn't the place to put this, but this is a page for experiences and stories, and this is mine. My cousin Megan was with her girlfriend Rosemary for a long, long time. More than eight years. Megan is my favorite cousin, she's one of the coolest people in the world. Whenever we hung out, whether it was for fun or at family gatherings, it was always Megan and Rosemary. Megan and Rosemary. They seemed perfect for each other, and last winter they got engaged. They actually both showed me the rings they were going to exchange when they proposed to each other before the other girl saw it.
But last summer, Rosemary cheated on Megan, and everything fell apart. They broke up. It wasn't pretty. But, they were like my relationship rock. They were the fairy-tale couple that let me know true love existed in the universe, because every other relationship in my family is broken in some way, and now so is the perfect couple.
I'm sorry, that had to have been so hard for you. I can't even start imagining how that feels, mostly because I've never had a relationship rock. This sounds like same old same old, but I really mean it. All of the relationships I've ever seen are broken too. So for what it's worth, I'm really sorry.
DFTBA, my friend <3
Thanks :) It does help. And by the way, I really, really like your profile picture. It made me laugh, and then I had to show my little sister, and she laughed too.
Thanks :P Walrusi (I refuse to believe the plural of walrus is walruses) and Mythbusters are two things that are sure to please.
Lol :) For sure. If Octopus becomes Octopi, then why not? Come on, English, be consistent. ;)
Also, I would like to thank you for making this discussion. I really hope that more people reply. I think its good to just share experiences with each other, and there didn't really seem a place for that before.
And I also understand your feelings with your experience. The same sort of thing happened to me. It's hard with internet stuff because it can feel so real, but then again not real. It's easy to ignore someone if you don't really know them irl, but you still feel like you know them. I think there's less closure in internet relationships, because there's no way to really try and talk it out if the other person just ignores you or blocks you, and that's really hard.
Yeah. There isn't really closure in that relationship, and I really am sad about that because she was just a good friend, too, you know? It's like not only did I lose an amazing girl, I lost a really good friend. Double the loss :(
So to bring something more cheery (?) to this conversation.
I got very lucky when I got together with my girlfriend. It started out as friendship but developed into something more. When I realised my feelings towards her were more than just something I felt for my friends, I was determined to get her. She ruined my plans of a perfect wooing by telling me of /her/ feelings in a very sneaky way. This is my first "real" relationship and we both want this to work out and we're quite serious about this so I hope this will last a long time.
Then the more negative story.
I came out to my mother as bi-sexual and she did not take it that well. She blamed herself, my school (which is very open and accepting) and my interest in manga (I have no idea where that one came from). She also didn't understand the concept of being bi ("can't you just choose?") It's getting better though and she doesn't think it's the end of the world any more and I'm trying to stay positive about this.
Happy to hear about your wonderful girlfriend, that is nice :D Sucks about your mum. Heteronormative thinking is annoying, but for some reason people find it easier to understand gay than bisexual. I hope you don't worry about it too much... and that your mum will understand one day, or at least be positive/neutral about it.
I don't really have a specific story but something I do think about it.
I always found it hard to label myself because I'm not really happy with labels, so I always kept it all open, to see how I would develop. I have been strongly attracted to men since I was 18 (before that I was not attracted to anyone, but my sexual fantasies contained mostly women). Since that age I started to fall in love with guys, but also develop intense crushes on both men and women (I always have crushes and I love it, haha), e.g. when I was 19 I got my first boyfriend, but at the same time I realized that I was heavily attracted to my committeemember, a charming beautiful lady. While many girls assumed that I was attractd to her because I wanted to be her, I just knew it didn't work like that for me. I was attracted to her because I wanted to touch her. I could never even compare myself to her because we were very different in personality, looks, about everything. Lucky for me she was curious about me. For her it was an experiment - she knew her sexual preferences quite well already - for me it opened up new opportunities. I was slighly confused but very happy when we kissed. It was wonderful and soft. There were people around us that got all excited about it, but for me it wasn't about that at all, I couldn't care less about hem. It was about her.
Since 1,5 years I started to explore sex with women, two years after I explored sex with men, and I find myself enjoying sex with both genders. I crush on girls and guys with about the same frequency.
My point is - although I am happy the way I am (whatever that is), this is confusing me a lot. I can't think of myself as bisexual since I have never fully fallen in love with a women, but heterosexual isn't me either. I do get annoyed when people say things to me assuming that I am completely heterosexual, e.g. my roommate knows I sleep with girls as well, but always says 'when a guy is coming over to your place'... I am against labeling but sometimes I wish I could just label myself. Sometimes I just think that I will never know and that frustrates me. On the other hand, I think I should be content the way I am.
All dichotomies are false dichotomies. The more we study gender and sexuality, the more we realize that both those things are absolutely fluid. To me, with the label thing, you should absolutely be happy with the way you are, but maybe you're just searching for a name. Once we can name something, humans feel more comfortable with it. Now, it kind of sounds like you are bisexual, you just haven't fallen in love with a woman. Just like a woman can be heterosexual but not fall in love with a man because they haven't found the right man... and then later on they do fall in love. But there are more sexualities than just straight, gay, and bi. There's also something called pansexual, which includes everyone (mostly when people say pan, they mean that they are attracted to men, women, transsexuals, androgynous, everybody).
The full LGBT is LGBTQIA-- lesbian, gay, bi, trans, questioning, intersex, allies, and if we try to look harder, that acronym becomes longer and longer, because sexuality is fluid. LGBTTQQIIAAP-- lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, intergender, asexual, allies, pansexual.... but then that's still not the whole thing, I don't think. I think there's another T in there somewhere for two-spirit.
But while you seek a name, you should just be content with who you are, and that's the most important thing. You're still young, there's still plenty of time. The answers you want are not easily answered, and ultimately only you can answer that question. But the answers will come in time. You just have to be patient. :)