Dear friends,

Without getting too minutely specific, I went through a painful breakup fairly recently that is still giving me pangs of lonesomeness, sometimes to the point where I am losing sleep, getting very depressed, etc. I was wondering if any of you have had similar experiences and/or learned any tips and tricks you would like to share regarding how to get on the mend. I realize that no one here will have a magic bullet instant cure, I deeply believe that time heals all wounds and wounds all heels, and just to get it out of the way, though doing my happy dance and putting things on my head are great momentary reminders to be awesome, I need something more effective. Thoughts?

Tags: advice, breaking, breakup, broken, cure, healing, heart, help, love, relationships, More…romance, treatment, up

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Replies to This Discussion

Check this out. It put things in perspective for me

I would say you need to do things to remind yourself that you are a whole, wonderful person on your own. When people are in relationships they tend to forget that they are still, ultimately, two people, and not one entity, regardless of your shared experiences. And maybe this isn't the case with you, I obviously don't know specifics, but it's just something I see pretty often, and if this is playing any part in your emotions it might help to take the time to enjoy things you like to do that maybe you couldn't do with this other person, or didn't have time to do, etc. I have one friend who absolutely loves artsy movies that her boyfriend refused to watch with her. Second they broke up she spend every free minute watching weird experimental films.

Hope this is applicable, and even more I hope it helps.

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with a broken heart. I had my share a few months ago. Breaking up really sucks, no matter who broke up with who. And I completely agree with Katherine on this. I found that if I kept myself occupied, I spent less time thinking about what I could have done, or what I should have done differently. Do something you love, or maybe try doing something you maybe wouldn't normally do, like maybe sample some fancy new cuisine. Just focus on you. Take things a day at a time, and remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day. That's what I try to do, especially when I've had a bad day. I just remind myself that it could be worse. I hope that helps some. 

Thanks to everyone so far! Brief update - I am dealing much better with the situation than I was when I first posted this; I am able to see my ex socially without getting jealous of her current partner - at least when they're not all cutesy - and I'm contemplating options for future romantic relationships.

Sam - the video hit a little too close to home at times, but it was clever.

Katherine - She couldn't stand Homestar Runner. I think I've re-watched just about every cartoon from that site since the unpleasantness. Hoo haa - NERDFIGHTERS!

Annie - I hope your breakup turns out to be a blessing in disguise as well.

Abi - Some folks think that taking care of ourselves is this simple, default setting that humans can just sort of defer to. You and I both know that to really care for ourselves takes work, and it only gets harder if we aren't coming from a place of psychological strength. The trick for me is going to be learning from my mistakes without beating myself up for making them in the first place.

I know what you mean. I'm that way a lot of the time, too. I spend more time than I'd like to dwelling on what I could have done/should have done. While I'm usually a pretty cheery, positive person, there are some days I'm just sad and don't know why. And every now and then it helps me to just cry and ramble to my room mate. But that's just me. Glad to hear you're doing better! :D 

Glad to hear you're doing better :) keep it up and good luck in the future.


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