"My parents went to a planet without bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this lousy f-shirt!"
So here I was, fresh out of stats class, and I assume this is a reference to the t-test (which has a 2-tailed curve and is therefore bilaterally symmetrical) and the f-test (which has a 1-tailed curve, and therefore is not). It was several months of believing this before someone told me it just meant that the shirt had both its sleeves on one side (you know, like an F) :-)
Of course, I'm an INTP on the Myers-Briggs test, which mean I over-analyze everything.
This is one physicists use to make fun of mathematicians.
"An infinite number of mathematicians are lined up at a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders a half a beer. The third orders one fourth of a beer. The fourth orders one eighth of a beer. The fifth is about to order one sixteenth of a beer, but finally, the bartender says, 'This is ridiculous,' pours two beers, and walks away."
Alright, so this one requires knowledge of certain equipment, but it got some laughs in the workplace.
So there's this multi-effect evaporator, and the first effect asks the third out on a date.
But the time of the date rolls around and the third effect gets stood up.
Back at work, the third effect confronts the first and asks him 'why did you bail on our date'
To which the first effect replies ' Sorry, but you know I get cold feed!'
Once upon a time two electrons lived in harmony. They obeyed their just ruler Pauli and enjoyed their ground state existence. One day there was a bright flash of light and the electrons were separated. They no longer shared the same probability cloud. This made one of the electrons sad because he really missed the other electron. So he yelled out to it through the void, “Hey why don’t you come up here? It’s pretty exciting.” It was silent for awhile and then it heard a wee voice coming from the shadows which said, “Sorry but, no HOMO.”