Nerdfighters

Do people think of you as a certain way because you are shy?

For me, a lot of people think I'm this really sweet girl who has never uttered a cuss word in her life. Really. Some people are actually shocked when I cuss in front of them. It happened just the other day, actually. But, in actuality, I am a very cynical and pessimistic person who cusses like a sailor. Still, there is some truth to this. I do like being nice to people. Mostly because I don't want to make enemies, of course...

Tags: different, quiet, shyness, sweet

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A lot of these things happen to me... People tend to mistake my social awkwardness for being stuck up, when in actuality I do enjoy meeting new people, I just prefer to listen rather than talk.  People also think I'm always sad because I'm quiet as well, and my extroverted roommate thinks I'm cranky all the time because I like being alone.  It's kind of funny widespread assumptions about quiet people are.

People always think I'm stuck up too. Makes me sad.

I tend to see the two extremes: people seem to either assume I'm incredibly smart or that I know nothing at all. There was actually a girl (who also tends to be shy) in an Creative Non-fiction class I took last year that wrote a paper describing thoughts that go through her head on a regular basis. She talked about rehearsing what she is going to say over and over in her head so that it is just right and half the time having it be too late to say it once she feels confident enough, holding back because of the fear that people will be annoyed or offended by something she says, and a number of other things that made me feel as though she had read my mind.

One of the guys in the class responded with, "I like it a lot...I had no idea quiet people thought that much! I just assumed they were quiet because they had nothing to say."  All of us in the room (including the professor) were at a loss for words after he said that.

Ooh, a couple of weeks ago, my friend told me what she originally thought I was like. It seems that most people think shy people are nice and sweet. Me, no. She said she thought I was a female dog (she swears, I don't), she thought I thought I was above everyone, and then she compared me to Meryton Assembly Mr. Darcy, and a boy in our class who reminds me greatly of Mr. Collins.

People do that to me too, but in a somewhat different way... I'm shy around people I don't know, but I'm actually kind of loud and spazzy around my friends.  So of course one day, a friend decided to visit me at college, and all of my classmates just kind of stared in shock as I tackled him.  Apparently they thought that I was averse to all human contact.  Which, in return, freaked my friend out, because he didn't understand how anyone could think of me as anything but a hyper, silly, cuddly goofball.  XD  Weird how that happens.

I have encountered similar responses when I feel like I'm just being myself. It's odd, for me, how being shy means that most people don't get a full picture, but it seems like a lot of people get different ideas about me. One person can think I am a teachers pet and another finds me sarcastic and cynical. The truth is pieces of both, and it always surprises people when they start to see that. 

People seem to think that since I'm quiet, that I'm sweet and nice. And I do like to be nice a lot of the time, especially when I first meet people; I want them to have a good first impression. But sometimes, I don't want to be "the nice one" and some people get amazed when I say something sassy. Thankfully, a lot of my friends have gotten used to the way I really am, but it still annoys me when people think I'm really nice all the time.

Also, sometimes people will think there's something wrong with me because I'm so quiet and I like to be by myself. Once, in 4th grade, a girl tried to teach me how to talk. I found it extremely annoying. Just because I don't talk that much doesn't mean I can't. Also, once my art teacher seemed to think there was something wrong with me when I was walking by myself on the playground in 2nd grade. I never liked her since. 

OP, I feel your pain. I don't like to talk a lot and I do often get painted as a sweet, naive little doormat (even friends of mine have called me Fluttershy), when in reality I'm a pessimist and kind of bitchy. You should have seen the looks on my friends' faces when I first dropped the F-bomb in front of them!

Early in school, 1st or 2nd grade, my teachers were always all concerned about me, how I didn't enjoy talking in front of a lot of people, and it was maddening that everyone wanted to "fix"me. I even got sent to the counselor once because of it.

And the people who ask "Can you talk?" Gawd. I always want to say "Maybe I would if you weren't stupid enough to ask me that" but I can never work up the courage.

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