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My story.

Hmm it has some mistakes, hope you like it anyway. :)
Here we go:

It was just another usual day at the hotel by the bright ocean. There were only a few clouds in the sky and the wind was blowing gently. There was no new guests around, except two. No one had been counting the days there, but it was supposed to be a midspirng day.
A slender young man was wandering around the coast, grumbling, with his hands in his pockets. His black hairas neither short nor long, his greey eyes seemed obviously confused but also a bit excited. He was like looking for something he had lost.
“Austin?” said the manager to himself, who was taking a glance at the young man from his office’s window. “Austin.”
However, Austin was too busy to realize him watch, with his head in the clouds, lost in deep thoughts. He had never wanted to come here, he even hadn’t any memories about him and his sister’s childhood. “Think it as a holiday.” He murmured patiently. “No more than a holiday.” Then, he kept on searching for his missing backpack.
He didn’t notice the sparking-eyed girl of medium height approaching either. Anyone could say she was so cheerful –maybe a bit more than necessary under those conditions- because she was smiling even when she came nearer the young man who didn’t look to be content about anything at that moment.
They accidentally ran into each other. “Ouch!” cried Austin as though he had been dreaming, but when their eyes met, he became much nicer. The girl looked extremely sorry for what had happened. There was something different about her. No, nothing at all when you take a look: her golden hair was surrounding her long face, her skin was pretty pale and she had some childish freckles. No different than a usual 21-years-old girl. But the only eye catching thing about her was the look in her giggling eyes.
-Oh sorry, said Austin.
-No problem.
-So… It’s Austin, what about you?
The girl paused for a while and slightly smiled, Austin was kind of amazed that he didn’t even wonderwhy.
They sat there on a rock and talked for a few hours. Austin had already forgotten what he was doing and why. The whole world was way more meaningful than it had ever been, everything was marvellous –including the little butterflies in his stomach- and even the manager of the hotel might not be suspicious about his weird manners. But all of a sudden his backpack came up to his mind so he stared around. Then, he heard Amanda’s friendly voice:
-Is this yours?
-Oh yes! Where was it?
-Ahh I found it just over there.
-Thanks, thanks!
He looked at his watch, not sure how much time passed by. It was already half past ten. He knew he had to leave for his meeting and sighed.
-Oh no. I had better go now. I’m almost late.
He really meant what he said. He didn’t want to go away at all.
-See you soon! said Amanda and smiled expressively.
Austin grabbed his backpack and rushed into the entrance where he should have been waiting at for his stepsister. She must already have been there. He sat on a bank next to the door, and looked for the piece of paper on which some instructions about the meeting was written, for a while.
Instead, he found another one which said, “Hey brother. “

Discussion Forum

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Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Writer Nerdfighters! to add comments!

Comment by S. Gavin McNeil II on March 31, 2014 at 7:52pm

@David N, Thanks!  That helps!

Comment by David N on March 31, 2014 at 7:43pm

@S. Gavin McNeil II

Not many rules. I've been here a while, and it's pretty relaxed and informal. You can drop a link to any writing profile you have here or start a discussion requesting name/title suggestions, constructive criticism, etc.

Comment by S. Gavin McNeil II on March 31, 2014 at 6:01pm

Hi, I'm just getting started here and just want to know what the rules/guidelines are. I've been part of several writing groups, and they all have different ways of doing things.  Thanks!

Comment by Eliza Tilton on March 30, 2014 at 3:06pm

I'd also suggest looking for a critique partner or group. Places like the Absolute write water cooler and the link I provided usually have places where where you can find one.

Comment by Eliza Tilton on March 30, 2014 at 3:05pm

Monica--The Query Tracker forum is a great resource. You can post your first five pages and query letter there

Comment by Jacob L on March 30, 2014 at 2:36pm

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I'd just like to share this little gem: my first story was called the immortal title "Connor Goes To Hunt For Dragons".

Comment by Ross Wigg Jr. on February 14, 2014 at 10:02am

Though i have always enjoyed writing from a young age I much more enjoy it now. Especially when I learned I could combine my love for videogames with my writing. Reviewing video games is such an amazing writing experience 

Comment by Hope Jones on February 12, 2014 at 4:42am

Monica, there is FanFiction (stories about you favorite book, movie TV show,etc.) and FictionPress (personal stories)! I hope that helps! :)

Comment by Monica Isabel on February 11, 2014 at 3:15pm

I think I've asked this before but, can anyone tell me of good sites (besides Nerdfighters) where I can post my stories to get feedback? 

Comment by Danno on February 7, 2014 at 5:14pm

welcome to all the new members.  is/are 'nits' still a thing?

anyway... glad to have you all around, whether you're posting, reading/reviewing or just part of the community


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