I feel kind of awkward doing this, but I really do think I've reached a point where feedback from people who aren't family would be nice.

I've posted the first three chapters of a book I'm writing on Authonomy, and I would really like to know if it's decent.

link here:

And short and long descriptions below.

A young girl stumbles into the kind of world she has only dreamed of; but there is more than beauty here.


Twelve-year-old Avery Marshall has lived her life lost in her imagination, dreaming of the worlds she reads in books. Yearning for adventure, when she finds a doorway into just such a world, she can't help but walk through. At first glance, she is thrilled; the Garden is beautiful, magical, and to her innocent eyes, perfect. But every world has its dangers, and Avery soon realizes she may have got more than she bargained for. Pursued by an evil Warlord, the girl must face hardships she has never known and pit her wits against a sadistic council intent on exploiting what little she has to give. With the help of a few friends, she battles her worst nightmares in the hope of reaching home-if she can survive.

I'm actually halfway through Chapter 10, so if I get any positive feedback I'll post more. Just an fyi, they're pretty long chapters (averaging 3,000 words or 10 pages). I'm just kind of nervous about putting my work on the web (so much judgment on the internet!) but if I'm going to finish this I'm going to, you know, want to try and get it published and such. So I should probably start getting used to criticism. 

If anyone has anything to say, good or bad, please say it. :) can't improve if I don't know.


Tags: Fantasy, adventure, books, fiction, magic, writing

Views: 49

Replies to This Discussion

I'd love to give this a read but the link appears to be broken. Maybe you could email it to me?


Youtube Links!

Here are some YT links to channels related to Nerdfighteria and educational content!

*Can you think of any more? Pass along any suggestions to an Admin who will then add it to this list should it fit!

© 2015   Created by Hank Green.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service