"I liked this very much. My only contention (besides some grammar and spelling) would be to fix the second part. You want to show rather than tell your readers what is going on. You are kind of upfront bout it. Giving a more subtle, gradual…"
"Firstly, and you probably know this, but there are numerous (and very fixable) errors in grammar and punctuation throughout that at times make it difficult to read. That being said, above all I love the concept. The only thing I would…"
"This is an interesting story; however, there are problems with grammar, punctuation and sentence length. Also, the second section needs to be redone, or at least greatly revised. I believe your intention was to shock the reader by the time change,…"
1190:JerusalemSalah ad-Din Yusuf ibn Ayyub stood upon the walls of the Holy City of Jerusalem staring out into the night sky. They were coming, Mecca and Medina had fallen to the invaders, as too had Constantinople, they were surrounded. The demons came from all sides, striking at will, both upon Christians and Muslims alike. He had seen flame consume the English King before his very eyes. His screams of torment still haunted the dreams of the Kurdish commander to this day.Rubbing his eyes…See More