ucantcontrolawesome's Page

I am happy and miserable. Not the usual ADDesque hop-scotching of emotional squares but it’s as if my feelings are singing two notes at the same time and the harmony is both comforting and exhausting.

In one of the choirs at one of the colleges I attended while taking the scenic route through higher education the choir director asked me if I could sing two notes at once. He was only partially kidding. Our tenor section was full of pansies, I have a pretty good range, and my singing two notes at… Continue

Conversation Overheard Today

God: Rains?

Noah: Check.

God: Like serious, end of the world, we’re all gonna die, even the fish are drowning, flood-type rains?

Noah: Check.

God: Heathens abandoned to face the consequences of their sinful ways in the swirling waters of doom?

Noah: Check.

… Continue

long time, no blog.

I’ve been working on a blog about my cat for, like, a month. But I don’t think I’m ever going to finish it. I write one sentence and then I hit save because I’m just too damn sad to write any more. My cat is old. The phrase “decisions will have to be made” has been used more than once and I don’t like it. She’s deaf and now we think she’s going blind. She cries a lot. The thing about cats is that they’re not like grandparents. When they get to be 80something in cat y… Continue

This blog is late and comes in parts
*also, i'm too sleepy to spellcheck or seek out any grammatical or other errors, so, fingers crossed and all

1. The GRE
I can’t believe I paid $140 to sit in a cubicle feeling inferior for three hours. The good news is my test scores didn’t make me cry. The bad news, I don’t know, is there bad news? It was fine, actually. Which surprised me. I kinda imagined myself either skipping out of the test center singing songs of glee, or being carte… Continue

Sometimes when I’m feeling costive I look to the artistic expressions of others and try to turn them into words. This is what I wrote today:

Long Way From Home

Made for the snow
I did not know
what it meant to burn
until the turn
that brought me here.
Blue water that beats
into brown-gold earth,
green on the ground and
lashing the sky.
So many colors and
none of them mine.


But the sun will teach
my skin to sweat and squ… Continue