N3rdXGir1's Blog (20)

I've always held people, rocked them to sleep, sung them lullabies to make sure they were okay, hugged them and cared for them. why cant i trust someone enough to let them take care of me? I've token care of them all this time but i wish i was able to let myself held in their arms and cry, for myself. feel protected enough to just stay there not caring of the rest. I wish to feel safe, safe and sound. 

Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your eyes

And when they open, the sun will rise



Here it's safe, and here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet--

--and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love…

Toi, je n'avais jamais penser de toi comme ça. Je pensais de toi en ami, et en ami seulement. Mais maintenant, je ne sais plus quoi faire. Je t'aime, tu est la seul et unique personne a qui je pense. Et quand tu me regarde, quand tu me touche, mon coeur m’arrête. Ta main forte mais délicate passe dans mes cheveux, dans mon dos et tout au long de mes bras. J'adore mais je ne comprend pas. Ça me rend folle. Quand je suis avec toi, je veut me lancer dans tes bras et jamais les quitter. Mes…

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

     How I wonder what you are.

     Up above the world so high,

     Like a diamond in the sky.



     When the blazing sun is gone,

     When he nothing shines upon,

     Then you show your little light,

     Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.



     Then the traveller in the dark,…

We are gonna dance into the sea

All I want is you, you're ma chérie

Never seen a girl that's so jolie

All I want is you, you're ma chérie

Ma chérie, oh oh oh...



When I look into your eyes

I see rainbows in disguise 

Baby, when you're close to me

I know you are ma chérie



Oh, we are gonna dance into the sea

All…

Love! you dealt a bitter blow –
You lay me cross the mortal plains, 
Bedewed, bedimmed amongst a show
Of tearful clouds: eternal rains 
To weep at my enduring foe

Of harsh reality – searing pains of
Destiny: dependable propensity 
To fool myself repeatedly
That I could ever triumph over love! 

What makes me feel beautiful:

a shitload of makeup on: making my skin look flawless, making my eye lashes 5X their actual length, eyeliner to make my eyes bold and highlighted, lip gloss to make my lips bigger.

perfect clothes: skin tight but not too much, short but not too short, showing cleavage just enough. heels to make my butt smaller and make me taller. 

WHAT I WISH MADE ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL:

my biggest clumpiest clothes.

my face all…

those who try to figure out the point of life here it it. Life is but an illusion, people can look like they're worthy of you but they aren't. decisions may seem the best at a point but its actually the worst thing to do. love might seem like our best friend but at other times it's the thing that hurts the most. For to me life is no complicated task. Rather simple actually:

-there is music, dance.

-there is food, eat.

- there is people, talk.

- there is  things to…

you feel like you're in a coma, no matter what you try to do, no one sees it. No one sees how hard to try. you try to scream but it doesn't work. no one hears you, no one understands, no matter how loud. No one turns to check. Sometimes you debate whether to quit or keep trying. but no one understands what it's like being silent. you can tell them anything but you're ignored. you feel to alone to talk so you use your loudest cry... silence.

his voice got lower and weaker every second. sometimes it was silent or you'd only hear us breathe. He wasn't expecting it. I was doing okay until i heard the tears. He tried to hide them but i knew they were there. He was destroyed. At first he didn't understand. But the silence was a habit so it didn't really hurt. I felt like a monster. I had been with him for so long and then, gone, no more.I guess it wasn't meant to be. What confuses me is that i'd rather be broken heart then a heart…

at least once in our life we will be forgotten by one, or by all. We don't chose who we don't chose when. all will not even notice they are erased until to late. I don't want to forget. i want to be forgotten, for shall they live bettter without anything in there way. nothing to stop them for better of for worst. i may not be there to save them but i wont bring them down either. i shall slowly fade: at first from the unknown then from whom i talk to the less and eventually fade from the…

your eyes were full of fear, your skin as pale as snow, yoru flech as cold as skating rinks . something hurt you or so you said, i took you in my arms and rocked you to sleep. I sung your favorite lullaby and you closed your eyes. I felt your heartbeat slow and your skin get boiling hot. I kept you in my arms until the break of dawn where i wrote you a letter. It said:Dear friend, you took care of me now i take care of you, i'll do anything to keep you from being blue. I'll sing you songs…

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth.”

― William W. Purkey

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

― Mae West

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over…

there,lying beside me, your body is calm, your breathing normal, everything must be okay in your dream. face relaxed everything so neat, i could have painted a picture of you, at that present heart beat. Nothing must have happen until something made you scream. You woke up fusing. i then said it was just a dream,you shook your head. You woke up with such fear in your eyes that you couldn't speak, which wasn't surprise. i took you in my arms and told you it was okay, that you could be afraid.…

everyone's asleep which means nobody's awake. from now i have the house to my own, but it is dark, so dark the shadows don't even know where to go.There's no light, no life. just me. standing there slowly fading. i can hear the sound of the house shifting with the cool of the night. no one can resist to that cold. lots have been out but none return. the night is scary for some but to me, these empty hallows are my escape. my chance to be free. These cold winds and shivers that go up my back…

I need another story

Something to get off my chest

My life gets kinda boring

Need something that I can confess

'Til all my sleeves are stained red



From all the truth that I've said

Come by it honestly I swear

Thought you saw me wink, no

I've been on the brink, so



Tell me what you want to hear

Something that will light those ears

Sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away



This time, don't…

"What Hurts The Most"

"His Name"

Why am I so afraid of the night?

My silhouette it taunts me

My lack of faith in this beautiful life

My knowing of it haunts me

I'm haunted and know I should be afraid

Lay awake at night

Cry you know its not alright to feel like

you’re falling into nothing

You can learn to fly

Just call His name

Just call His name

Suddenly I wonder why I feel so alone

I know there’s something…

You never know what to do, you feel trapped. Cuts relieves you, they don't burn anymore. You're covered in scars and they are to stay.…