A look inside my head.

[Tòmachan ~blogs admin ~]

Personally, when I find myself writing/typing a blog up on the site, I tend to leave my personal thoughts on the side and focus on the topic at hand, because lets face it. Blogs about other peoples personal life tend to bore most. Alas, I'm feeling talkative should anyone care to read - by all means, don't if you care not, no hard feelings -. Now, if anyone's read my past blogs, they'll notice one thing straight off the bat. I'm Autistic - Aspergers to be exact - and an Atheist. Does this define who I am? To a certain extent, yes. I grew up with Autism, ADHD, Epilepsy and thanks to the Autism - and the way in which I was treated/taught - I acquired a certain level of a anxiety disorder of some form. 

Now, how does the Atheism add on top of that? Well, the Atheism in itself doesn't affect me. How I gained that Atheism however, does. Before I was as such, I was a noted Mormon in my stake and ward. I believed fully that:

• The bible is true
• God is real
• Jesus was real, magic and all.
• Man was an exact descendent from Adam and Eve.

Now, this all changed after I started my education into RMPS - Religious, moral and philosophical studies -. I was offered evidence, facts and the like that countered my once held beliefs. As time went on, I found myself with more evidence against my once held faith. At that, I stated my opinion to my friends and family.

Alas, mistake twas a mistake.

I had come to believe the church to be racist and sexist, people who weren't white had to wait to gain certain points within the church, whilst a woman was required to become a baby making factory if she wished to attain the highest place within the heavens. After I pointed this out, and made myself clear and public to my supposed friends, they turned on me like chickens do when they see blood.

All in all, I ended with three hundred emails telling me:

• I will wander alone in eternal darkness forever.
• I shall burn in the lake of fire.
• Demons and the devil shall rape my sorry ass.
• That I'm worse than Hitler.

That, and add on a few others that aren't eye catching.

Now, what does this leave with?
Add the anxiety already held by my brain's wiring, on top of the worry that my new 'friends' may turn on me like those before, it leaves you with one wary Scot who has slight problems in connecting or trusting people. 

So, if it seems I've short handed you, insulted you by ignoring you.
Stopped talking to you.
Or anything that may lead you to believe I do not like you.
That ninety nine percent of the time isn't the case.
I'm simply stopping the hell that took place with my supposed friends, from happening again.

With that said and done.
I'll leave you awesome people to ponder and to squander your time as you see fit.
Cheers for reading.
DFTBA.

[hopelesscynic]

When I was younger, I soon realised that the Children's Illustrated Bible wasn't the proper one, and there were stories about a God that killed people. I then stopped believing in the Bible when I saw that Christianity is exclusive; you're loved by God until you stop becoming Ideal, and then you're out on your own (more or less). That's how I see it. And Atheism is a belief in its own right. Check out Richard Dawkins if you haven't already heard of him (i'm pretty sure that you have). DFTBA

[DaveBoRamaNessOssity_the_thuhd]

Thanks for writing this. I'm a UU. Which from where I sit, encourages people to seek and evolve their own beliefs, and do good that matters in this world while you are in it.  "A Christmas Carol" and "On the Origin of Species" are written by my 'church'.  I'm pretty dang open minded. And I'm an agnostic... who would probably be an atheist if he thought it was worth PROVING there was no God. I'll settle for "Wildly unlikely". Thanks for sharing your story. You haven't hurt me yet, and despite (or because of) your warning... it seems unlikely. Hi hi. I hope your trust journey with me is begun.. DFTBA