A Punishment from John Green
So, I'm going to start writing more blogs as requested. But I lack ideas. For now, I'll just recount a 'mission' given to me by John Green.
Back story (trust me, it's much more interesting this way):
John signed three copies of Paper Towns for me in Columbus, two of which I mailed to my closest Ning friends - Christian the Heretic and unityofeffect - and one I kept for myself. Now, I treasured my beautiful book, making it comfortable when it was lonely, giving it a lovely bookmark as a companion, and sometimes taking it off the shelf and petting it just so it would feel loved.
However, I wanted the words John had written to be read, not just by me, but THE WORLD! But then again, the world is an awfully big place and I'm not wealthy enough to supply the entire population with their own copy. I wish.... However, there are two special people that I felt might benefit from reading Paper Towns, my niece and nephew. Carmen, 15, read the book in record time and returned it with a look of awe. Being a Nerdfighter herself, she loved it.
I couldn't help but feel that Nick, 13, would benefit more from the book. He's in a state of mind where popularity is everything but he's one of the not-so-popular kids. And he's quick to judge people without realizing that people are often misimagined. He's not fond of reading, but with my enthusiastic review and Carmen's positive feedback, he decided to give Paper Towns a try. So, I allowed him to use my precious book, setting down specific guidelines - we'll call these Laws - to follow when handling the book. Within two days, he got through half of Paper Towns, which is pretty fast where his attention span is concerned. He was really enjoying it, pausing a few times to discuss or ask about something.
Things were going well, but school distracted him and he was reading less and less everyday. Finally, I noticed that he wasn't reading at all in his spare time. Not that I was pushing him to read, I was only worried about my darling book. So, I asked to see it.
He handed me the book.
It was ruined.
Ruined.
I mean, I was really upset. I specifically told him how much that book meant to me. I felt betrayed and wanted to cry. Or get violent. Luckily, I did neither. Okay, it's not as extreme as I make it out to be. There is water damage from when it rained and he had it in his backpack, but all the pages are still legible. Nevertheless, as it was signed by the author......You understand, right?
I was upset with him for quite awhile, and even though I love him to pieces, I still couldn't forgive him.
Until now.
Today:
Whenever John asks for questions, I always fail to come up with anything interesting or relevant. [Except for the sock question! I almost made John fall over, and injure his hand and laptop, just so he could tell me the color his socks. Ah, good times....] But today during his live show, I came up with a pretty good question for my problem.
"My nephew ruined my signed copy of Paper Towns. What should be his punishment?? And will you sign another for me?"
John answered, "I will definitely sign you another copy the next time I see you, and his punishment should be: He has to read Finnegans Wake out loud."
I immediately ran - okay, skipped - to Nick and dragged him to the computer where I explained what was going on. Then I told him, "John - you remember John, right? The author of that book you ruined... - gave you a punishment. You know, for ruining his book."
For his benefit, I googled the title. Right under the Wikipedia listing for it, was an Amazon review that caught his eye: "It took me five years to read finnegans wake, on and off. It is probably the hardest book to read in the English language...."
Nick almost pissed his pants.
Moral of this story: Never mess with my books. It won't end pretty.
Back story (trust me, it's much more interesting this way):
John signed three copies of Paper Towns for me in Columbus, two of which I mailed to my closest Ning friends - Christian the Heretic and unityofeffect - and one I kept for myself. Now, I treasured my beautiful book, making it comfortable when it was lonely, giving it a lovely bookmark as a companion, and sometimes taking it off the shelf and petting it just so it would feel loved.
However, I wanted the words John had written to be read, not just by me, but THE WORLD! But then again, the world is an awfully big place and I'm not wealthy enough to supply the entire population with their own copy. I wish.... However, there are two special people that I felt might benefit from reading Paper Towns, my niece and nephew. Carmen, 15, read the book in record time and returned it with a look of awe. Being a Nerdfighter herself, she loved it.
I couldn't help but feel that Nick, 13, would benefit more from the book. He's in a state of mind where popularity is everything but he's one of the not-so-popular kids. And he's quick to judge people without realizing that people are often misimagined. He's not fond of reading, but with my enthusiastic review and Carmen's positive feedback, he decided to give Paper Towns a try. So, I allowed him to use my precious book, setting down specific guidelines - we'll call these Laws - to follow when handling the book. Within two days, he got through half of Paper Towns, which is pretty fast where his attention span is concerned. He was really enjoying it, pausing a few times to discuss or ask about something.
Things were going well, but school distracted him and he was reading less and less everyday. Finally, I noticed that he wasn't reading at all in his spare time. Not that I was pushing him to read, I was only worried about my darling book. So, I asked to see it.
He handed me the book.
It was ruined.
Ruined.
I mean, I was really upset. I specifically told him how much that book meant to me. I felt betrayed and wanted to cry. Or get violent. Luckily, I did neither. Okay, it's not as extreme as I make it out to be. There is water damage from when it rained and he had it in his backpack, but all the pages are still legible. Nevertheless, as it was signed by the author......You understand, right?
I was upset with him for quite awhile, and even though I love him to pieces, I still couldn't forgive him.
Until now.
Today:
Whenever John asks for questions, I always fail to come up with anything interesting or relevant. [Except for the sock question! I almost made John fall over, and injure his hand and laptop, just so he could tell me the color his socks. Ah, good times....] But today during his live show, I came up with a pretty good question for my problem.
"My nephew ruined my signed copy of Paper Towns. What should be his punishment?? And will you sign another for me?"
John answered, "I will definitely sign you another copy the next time I see you, and his punishment should be: He has to read Finnegans Wake out loud."
I immediately ran - okay, skipped - to Nick and dragged him to the computer where I explained what was going on. Then I told him, "John - you remember John, right? The author of that book you ruined... - gave you a punishment. You know, for ruining his book."
For his benefit, I googled the title. Right under the Wikipedia listing for it, was an Amazon review that caught his eye: "It took me five years to read finnegans wake, on and off. It is probably the hardest book to read in the English language...."
Nick almost pissed his pants.
Moral of this story: Never mess with my books. It won't end pretty.
Views: 8
Tags: books, christiantheheretic, don'tmesswithmybooks!, green, i'mabitinsane, john, paper, punishment, towns, unityofeffect
Comment
-
Comment by Hel on February 22, 2009 at 6:49am -
Haha, gotta love some James Joyce. I wouldn't mind reading that, actually. Just cos it's a challenge.
-
Comment by Ajjj on February 16, 2009 at 7:50am -
Brutal punishment!
-
Comment by Jenn on January 30, 2009 at 12:56pm -
I know! I wouldn't normally let someone borrow my adored books. I'd usually just buy them another copy. But one, I didn't have the money at the time, and two, I'm way to nice for my own good. =S
Oh, well. It's done now. But at least I get to look forward to an exciting punishment!
-
Comment by Jenn on January 30, 2009 at 2:37am
-
@uoe
Holy crap! That's a great idea. I definitely will do that, and I'll let him know. xD I can't wait.
-
Comment by Jenn on January 30, 2009 at 2:32am
-
@Nick
Oh, my. I just read that first sentence. While that could be interesting, you're right. I don't want him to dislike books, more than he does already. Perhaps I can just keep it on my bookshelf and every time he sees it, he'll cower in fear, remembering not to mishandle my things.
-
Comment by unityofeffect on January 30, 2009 at 2:30am -
I'm glad you have the other three to tide you over. :)
Could you make him read just part of it? And tape it? Can you tell we're all eager to see Nick punished for our amusement?
-
Comment by Jenn on January 30, 2009 at 2:20am
-
@uoe
Don't feel bad! I still have three other precious books signed by John to hold me over until the day when I can acquire another Paper Towns. (I was going to write two, but I almost forgot Let it Snow! Silly me.)
I don't know if he will. I think I'll buy it and threaten him that if he ever does something like this again, he'll have to read it.
-
Comment by unityofeffect on January 30, 2009 at 1:35am
-
This blog post has put a big grin on my face. I really feel you on the "don't mess with my books." I'd be so angry (I feel especially bad since my precious copy of Paper Towns is residing quite happily on my bookshelf all thanks to THE MOST AWESOME PACKAGE EVER!) We have got to get you to John somehow so he can sign another PT for you.
Nick's punishment is just. And hilarious. Did he/will he do it?
© 2013 Created by Hank Green.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Nerdfighters to add comments!
Join Nerdfighters