amber

[crystal tilford]

Amber laid there in snow. No longer feeling the cold. She was numb, she was tired. Tired of the screaming, the pain, her mother's tears as she tried to get what she wanted. Her father's angry words at the world and life itself. Her brother’s unexpected death. Her sisters pregnancy. The drugs didn’t help the alcohol didn’t work. The pain and anguish were not being numbed so easily any more. Amber could not live that way, they would kill her slowly. Her family that word was bitter in her mouth. But it was okay. Amber knew she would never have to return there she was ending it right here and now. Ending her very existence. Amber could feel the life slowly leaving her body. No one would notice; no one would care, they were too absorbed in their own problems. Jeff could no longer hurt her, no screaming parents, no whispers, any more nasty phone calls, text messages. All those things and more. Amber began to close her eyes when a shadow leaned over her.
"r u okay?"
Amber reluctantly opened her eyes. And stared at the person her distributed her. He was an older male middle aged. He had graying brown hair and blue eyes that sparkled with light from within. He repeated the question.
"r u ok?"
She could feel life slowly come back to her limbs. Her nerves felt as though they were on fire. She grimaced.
"I’m James." he said offering her his hand.
Amber stared at that hand it was rough and dry looking. Her arm reached up and grabbed it. as thou it had a mind of its own. He pulled her to her feet. amber wrapped her arms around her self. Hopeing that he would think that she was simply cold. Amber stared at the man though hooded eyes wondering what his motives were. In ambers expsinsce boys only wanted one thing. to controrl, not sex as is the popular belief. But on the hand this man, James smed different somehow.
“What’s ur name?” James asked her.
“Why do u wana know?”
“I need to know what call u and im not just going to say hey u or girl.”
Amber looked at him hasint to speak.
“That’s okay I will just have to call u snow angel”
What a laugh amber thought. I’m more like a demon than an angel. But still she wasn’t going to give him her name. who was this man? Amber wondered. And why was he being so kind to her. What would he accept from her in return. No one did things out of the kindness of their hearts any more. They always wanted something.
“do u want some hot coco?”
“huh?”
“hot coco. It will warm u right up”
amber hated to admit it but that snoded great. death wasnt sonding as good any more. amber shued another day another time. Maybe nighttime will be beter than the day time. but for some reson amber coulding must up any enisham for that idea.
"here we are." James smiled at amber. she smiled bake wekely. the crch was a small tow prat. the place were u eat and the ofies, and then there was the sancyery. the glass windos mand the place dance with colres.
amber had never been inside of a cruch before she was afierd that any sceaned the floor would open up and swallow her whole. she almosted wished it would. but sliltly to her dismay it didn’t.