An Abundance of Thoughts about an Abundance of Katherines: Chapters Fourteen and Fifteen

[Frank Leigh Grace]

            “You just need more people who don’t like people.”  That’s not true.  Colin’s totally my type.  “The best way to get people to like you is not to like them too much.”  Yep.  There it is, bright as day.  The can’t-find-the-keys-‘til-you-stop-looking phenomenon.  They don’t want clingy.  Was I too clingy?  Did I like him too much?  I know I liked Rudy II too much.  And Aaron II.  And Patrick I.  I liked Justin, but the problem there was that I didn’t let him KNOW I liked him, so that was the opposite problem; also he likes boys.  I hope the problem with David wasn’t liking him too much.  It’s not like I talked about unconditional love when I was still hoping to date him.  That didn’t happen until after our “us” talk, and besides, I made it clear I was talking about friendships, though the way he thinks about friendships I guess it COULD still freak him out.  Hmm.

            Oh no.  Drinking in the dark with Lindsey will not be a good idea.  But I really love the way John wrote this.  Just the dialogue.  Nothing else, because Colin is blind and pretty much just using his ears.  You can feel it, the darkness.  It’s gorgeous.

            “It’s like French-kissing a dragon.”  Yeah, French-kissing’s weird enough as it is.  A dragon.  Well, it’d be interesting.

            Okay, so we get the Lassie story.  Funnily enough, being called Lassie wouldn’t have bothered me. From about four years old ‘til third grade I acted like a dog all the time.  A Dalmatian, to be exact.  Third grade until like sixth I acted like a horse.  To this day my old third grade teacher calls me her little pony.

            Oh, Lindsey, he is NOT sweet.  Protective, yes.  But boy, that boy is not a good boy.

            I would love you, Colin.  I do love you, and I think most people who read this book love you.  That’s the thing.  Once you see someone as human, once you start to see that “inside” of them, you can’t help but love them.  Or at least I can’t help but love them.  Maybe other people are different.  I just…nobody’s perfect.  I don’t love people for being perfect.  I love them because they’re human. Because they think and feel and live and suffer.  Something about an individual is simply beautiful to me, and I cannot help but love it, and love that individual, because human.

            You’re not full of shit, Lindsey. People act differently around different people because they let different parts of themselves shine through.  It’s all you, it’s just different parts of you.  You’re smart and witty and funny and kind-hearted and GODDAMMIT KIDS DON’T YOU EFFING DARE MAKE OUT.

            And so they’re comfortable around each other because they don’t care about what the other thinks of them.

            It’s just so hard not to care.

            But it shouldn’t be.  Because my love is my love either way, regardless of whether its returned.  If I could just not care if anyone cared about me, then I could go on caring for them and I’d both feel fulfilled and have no worries about what they think of me.  So how do I do that?

            HEY NOW.  Don’t say “she was a Lindsey” like that.  That’s not okay.

            Uh ohs with Hollis.

            Wait, Katrina’s a dementor?

            It’s interesting that both Colin and Lindsey have made a goal with their respective love interests.  I mean.  They’ve been going after TOC and Katherine I / XIX since they were really little.  It would be like if I went and dated Patrick I after all this time.  They’re really similar in some ways, and really different in others.  They’re kind of perfect for each other, which I’d been kind of hoping from the start, you know, but I’m terrified about it because TOC.  I’m still convinced Lindsey’s going to die.

 

(fifteen)

 

            Super awkward!  Sounds like me!  Things were a little awkward with David after our “us” conversation.  But I think they got back to normal.  But then there was last Wednesday.  It’s been a week, hasn’t it.  Today’s Aaron II’s birthday.  Last Wednesday was Patrick I’s birthday.

            Uh oh.  Starnes said he didn’t like Mr. Lyfold.  This is going to be bad.  I know it.

            Minirecorder.  That’ll be useful, I think.

            However, I really like reading Lyfold’s dialogue.  Kind of reminds me of Snape, a bit.  The emphasizing is fun.

            These pigs have tusks, right?  Colin knows that, right?

            Uh oh, splitting up?  I feel like we’ll end up with friendly fire. 

            Okay, the emphasizing is starting to get old.

            Oh no.  Oh no oh no.  Lyfold’s leaving them behind.  This is going to be bad.  Two city boys with guns out in the middle of nowhere.  Craptastic.

            Oh my God this whole calling Miss Mutsenberger is hilarious.  Please tell me Colin dumped her.  Please.  WHY’D YOU HANG UP.  Okay, call her again.  Good.  YES.  YES.  THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

            Anddd Colin is reeling because he dumped a girl like a decade ago.  This is interesting.

            And here’s the pig.  And Colin keeps his cool. Oh no.  Hornets.

            And now they’re lost in the middle of the woods somewhere.

            And now they’re unlost, and I’m scared.

            Oh.  Wonderful.  Please tell me we’re not about to have more Hassan-rage.  Hassan-rage is scary.