An Abundance of Thoughts about an Abundance of Katherines: Chapter Four

[Frank Leigh Grace]

Yayyyyy chapter fourrrr this is taking foreverrrrrr!

“Not interesting.”  Yes, it is!  It’d totally be Colin’s friend just to learn all the random trivia he knows.  Granted, it’d probably get old after a while.  But still.  Random tangents are fun.  And the best part of random tangents is that you find them by taking the derivative, so if you’re constantly awkward, the constant awkward falls off when you go off on your tangent.  True story.  I’m glad John completes Colin’s statements in the footnotes.

I wish I were better at anagramming.  It’s one of my weaknesses.  Making sense of scrambled words…I’m not good at it.  Substitution cyphers, on the other hand, I can do.

But—but—I love baguettes!  Still, I’m glad Hassan changes that graffiti.  I am a Christian, and I am deeply offended by claims that my God hates ANY of his children.

“You aime lots of stupid crap.”  Hey now.  Dingleberries.

God, I love the way his mind works, flying through connections so swiftly.  Mine makes a multitude of connections, too, but I think at a far slower pace.  There’s a game I like to play, sometimes.  You start off with a random thing, say a curtain rod, and you make connections to other things until reaching a target, say, the sun.  This one’s a bit too easy.  The 1) curtain rod goes above the 2) window which looks 3) outside into the 4) sky, whose main star in our world is the 5) sun.  It’s kind of like in Wikipedia races when you choose a target article, start off in today’s article, and click links until you get there.  And there’s another game I’ve played that doesn’t have a target to get to but is fun to play.  One person says something like “stoplight” and the other says “nightlight” and the first says nighttime and then next says “timewarp” and you have to decide if the person is allowed to say “airtime” or needs to use “warp” as part of their response (Warpspeed.  Problem solved).

Okay, so now we’re at the bit with Colin meeting Hassan.  Colin has given up on friendships with people not named Katherine.  Why?  How come Katherines will deal with him for some amount of time but nobody else will?  To borrow a quote from Colin, “that just doesn’t seem plausible.”

Yeah, I’ve been in public school all my life and I still don’t always know what’s okay to say.  I know people who have it way worse, but I do word-vomit a lot.  A lot a lot.  David kept telling me this summer.  Sometimes I didn’t know it.  Other times I knew it the instant it came out of my mouth.  It’s unfortunate when one’s mouth runs away from you.  I need to learn how to control it without being silent.

Ahahaha Kentucky to Baguettes to Paris to K-19.  I’m exactly the same way.  The oddest, littlest things will remind me of a guy.  The color yellow; Justin.  Cheese; Patrick I.  GPSes, corn, and turkey; Aaron II.  Tootsie Rolls, robots, and waiting for texts; Rudy II.  Latin, Greek, and Be Prepared from The Lion King; Rudy I.  Everything reminds me of David right now.  He kind of had a monopoly on my life this past summer.  I had church people at church, work people at work, club people at my club, and David for the rest of the time.  It wasn’t a very good idea on my part. But I can’t regret a single thing about it.