Confused..

[Nadine]

A friend of mine was just diagnosed with cancer. Since hearing of the news I've been really confused about how I feel. (I met her 3 years ago online, she lives in Florida and we've never met, we don't even really talk that much, but we'll send each other random messages on fb or comment on statuses and stuff like that). I'm sad and very concerned for her, but at the same time it just doesn't seem like it has hit me like it should have. Should I be more sad? less sad? What do I say to her?  At times like this many people would turn to religion, but I don't believe, so what do I turn to? I am so lost! :*( 

[Nadine]

Thank you, Daniel. I really appreciate the time you took to not only read my vent but to respond. I'm going to take your advice and talk it out with a friend. 

thanks again. 

[Daniel [dænjəɫ]]

Hey Nadine. That really really really sucks.

I think relationships vary a lot based on how often you see someone, how long you've known them, and it might be a little bit remote for you to feel anything. Plus survival rates are increasing. I've had people I've known who, for one reason or another are no longer with us, and I think they've all been different, but I can't think of a better way of describing it other than sadness.

If you're feeling confused about it, it sometimes helps just to have someone listen to you so you can sort it out in your head. Sometimes it helps to just to vent at your parents or something, my university even has a listening service we can call to blow off steam and not be judged about what we think or say.

As for religion, the way my friends describe it is like having a relationship and conversation with God in their head, like I'd probably ring my mum about. We're social animals when it boils down to it, their conversations with God our like ours with friends, and you almost always feel better about things afterwards by talking about them. 

To be honest, all you can say sometimes is 'This is a **** situation, and I'm so sorry that its happening to you.' 

Anyway, those are my two cents.